In a shiny cave you found it

Aug 25, 2005 23:36

When the days no longer end, you know you've had it. That is to say, of course, that you've really lost it. Some people will tell you that they haven't slept since 1983. She caught be in a small town somewhere between Milwaukee and Seattle. I don't remember where. She told me all about the series of controlled events that led to her current hobby of catching me or anyone else not spry enough to escape. Then she asked me for a dollar, and I felt that my occupying twenty minutes of her time was clearly worth a mere dollar. Or was it her occupation of my time? I don't know now and didn't know then, my mind was spinning so much from her problems and conclusions. Perhaps he told you all about the time aliens abducted him into their weird spaceship and threw probes at him like a little kid discovering the joy a toilet and small expensive items could bring, while he's trying to find your change for the pizza you ordered.

They've brought it up, but you don't really know what it's really like to lose your sleep. Hell! I could sit you down and try to explain the implications to you rationally in a way that would make sense to any sane being. But you're not! None of you are; I've tried... so many times. But someone even went so far as to call the police on me? Can you believe that? None of them were reasonably. Then again, none of them knew either. I've only known for three years now. It was fall and I was starting my freshman year at Berkeley.

.................................

What really gets me is how people try to rationalize themselves as being a good person by the size of their paycheck. It's like a custom made rating system that places you in the 76th percentile, but the divining number changes along with the paycheck size.

What really really gets me is how much worse it is without paychecks.

.................................

That fall started off pretty well, actually. I didn't have any of those displaced feelings people always say they experience when leaving home for the first time. I had broken up with Steph right before leaving, but my life wss moving forward so quick I didn't have time to really think about our now defunct relationship. I finally felt like i was going to accomplish something.............

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