Its Hard To Lie Down When You Dont Trust The Ground
proceed with caution- this is going to be an absurdly emo james rant/entry.
i really just dont understand girls. ive already been having not necessarily troubles, but oddities happening lately, and then tonight adds on top of them. a few months ago, i was minding my own business eating a burger at triple o's whitespot, when a girl passes by the window. long story short, she comes in and asks me out. awesome- a girl who likes me- you would think. go out like 2 times, then never wants to hang out. whatever. random calls about once a month saying we need to hang out from her. nothing happens. i say fuck this, im out. i dont need a girl who doesnt pay attention to me at all again. ive been dealing with that shit for the past 3 years and frankly im kinda sick of it. havent seen her since probably april, and she lives a block away from me. so guess what?! today when im on my way to some what turns out to be lame excursion to a grad party, guess who i run into? her and her parents. awesome. shes all excited to see me and crap, oh and by the way im going back to the UK in a few days. awesome. really awesome. this probably doesnt make sense to anybody whos reading this but me. however, i pose this question- why do girls who seemingly dont like you, drag you along until youve had enough, then at the most inopportune time, right when your about to forget she ever existed and made you feel like shit appear again? i dont need that shit. i really dont.
what i do need, however, is somebody who will tell me the straight up honest to god fuckin truth. how hard is that? maybe a little hard at first, but i would really be told straight up im unattractive, uninteresting, or something else than being led to believe that this girl-and shes not the only one- likes me. its fucking bullshit. complete bullshit.
i dont even know if i shoudl start in on ranting about my current situation. i just have a feeling its going to end up the same way as the last 3. whys it so hard to get out of these ruts once youve fallen into them? its terrible. somebody needs to send me an angel, as it were. throw me a fuckin rope and help me out of this damned hole. but then again, i guess i should be one to talk. note to self- if i ever do have kids, im going to make them the most brutally honest kids ever. they may be temporarily hated, but they wont be fooled to be bullshiters.
also, what would be nice is if i could just get rid of these feelings. i would really like to just see a girl as a friend for once. not as an attractive person. not even as a person with an attractive personality. just a nice person whos fun to be around. thats what i need. but i dont know how to switch that. basically, im like hey, im james lets be friends. 3 years later im confessing to you how much i like you and have liked you for the past 3 1/2 years. the first 1/2 year you didnt even know me, cause i was working up the courage to even start talking to you in a friendly manner. its ridiculous.
and also- note to self- dont go to clubs. at all. but if you do, dont go unless you have enough money to buy more than 2 drinks, because its really lame for you unless your drunk. dont go anymore because you want to hang out with people, youve tried it too many times and its the same.
i really just dont understand girls. ive already been having not necessarily troubles, but oddities happening lately, and then tonight adds on top of them. a few months ago, i was minding my own business eating a burger at triple o's whitespot, when a girl passes by the window. long story short, she comes in and asks me out. awesome- a girl who likes me- you would think. go out like 2 times, then never wants to hang out. whatever. random calls about once a month saying we need to hang out from her. nothing happens. i say fuck this, im out. i dont need a girl who doesnt pay attention to me at all again. ive been dealing with that shit for the past 3 years and frankly im kinda sick of it. havent seen her since probably april, and she lives a block away from me. so guess what?! today when im on my way to some what turns out to be lame excursion to a grad party, guess who i run into? her and her parents. awesome. shes all excited to see me and crap, oh and by the way im going back to the UK in a few days. awesome. really awesome. this probably doesnt make sense to anybody whos reading this but me. however, i pose this question- why do girls who seemingly dont like you, drag you along until youve had enough, then at the most inopportune time, right when your about to forget she ever existed and made you feel like shit appear again? i dont need that shit. i really dont.
what i do need, however, is somebody who will tell me the straight up honest to god fuckin truth. how hard is that? maybe a little hard at first, but i would really be told straight up im unattractive, uninteresting, or something else than being led to believe that this girl-and shes not the only one- likes me. its fucking bullshit. complete bullshit.
i dont even know if i shoudl start in on ranting about my current situation. i just have a feeling its going to end up the same way as the last 3. whys it so hard to get out of these ruts once youve fallen into them? its terrible. somebody needs to send me an angel, as it were. throw me a fuckin rope and help me out of this damned hole. but then again, i guess i should be one to talk. note to self- if i ever do have kids, im going to make them the most brutally honest kids ever. they may be temporarily hated, but they wont be fooled to be bullshiters.
also, what would be nice is if i could just get rid of these feelings. i would really like to just see a girl as a friend for once. not as an attractive person. not even as a person with an attractive personality. just a nice person whos fun to be around. thats what i need. but i dont know how to switch that. basically, im like hey, im james lets be friends. 3 years later im confessing to you how much i like you and have liked you for the past 3 1/2 years. the first 1/2 year you didnt even know me, cause i was working up the courage to even start talking to you in a friendly manner. its ridiculous.
and also- note to self- dont go to clubs. at all. but if you do, dont go unless you have enough money to buy more than 2 drinks, because its really lame for you unless your drunk. dont go anymore because you want to hang out with people, youve tried it too many times and its the same.