It's Hard To Dream, You'll Always Be My Konstantine
i find that im being more and more sidetracked everytime i get on the computer. but it never seems to be with anything worthwhile...like ill get sidetracked looking at lj when i originally needed to check my balance so i could buy something i need or something like that. sometimes i even get sidetracked just singing to songs like right now. i think i tried starting this entry about 10 minutes ago...im in two sentences.
last week i was a PA for this panasonic Vericam workshop. that was good times. its kind of sad when that i would rather work doing what i did instead of my normal work at triumph. and heres why: 11 hour days. only $50 a day. PA=bitch, so i was the one who had to get shit for everybody, including food. i really enjoyed doing that though. i got to work at the kbtc studios in tacoma...which, not to my suprise were a honking pile of shit. i met some cool people, and i also actually got to work in the general field that im interested in for a change. it was all in all good times.
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its odd the way that things change. i actually dont even know if it is things changing, or me changing. i realized today that the reason why i dont really hang out with anybody has nothing to do with other people. it has a lot to do with me though. i seem to push people away pretty effectively. ive always prided myself on being an independent person...but i think perhaps i have payed too much attention to that, and not enough to other people.
personality flaw- i see too black and white for my own good. i either like somebody, or i dont like them. there are people in the shades of grey, but not many. problem- i give too much effort to the people i like, and none to those i dont. its almost like i dont even see the people i dont care much for. that makes me feel like an asshole, but i guess it is what it is.
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so im feeling really floaty in my thought process right now...its probably a product of my being sidtracked. but heres what im thinking about right this second-
im getting really tired of the references to the world ending. its super annoying. suddenly because things are happening in the world, people feel the need to blame it on the world ending, and that jesus is coming to save us all and its just crap. so what? theres been more natural disasters recently than normal. it doesnt mean that satans footsoldiers are going to jump out of the ground and start a war with angels in the sky...i mean, it would be pretty fun to join in a battle like this..because i only get to live them through movies. it would be fun to wield a sword and chop off demons' heads and such. but i just dont think it would come to that. UGH. sidetracked again. anyways, its doesnt make sense to me that people are freaking out over the amount of natural disasters...theyve happened before. and im sure that theyve happenedmuch worse. but guess what?! the world is still here. now, that isnt to say that the world is always going to be here, because its not. but its not exploding right now, or anytime soon. it has a good few million years left in it. and whats so different now compared to all of the other times natural disasters have happened? in almost every natural disaster, theres somebody saying 'jesus is coming down and armageddon is coming' and all of this shit. its just not true. jesus is the pool guy who works across the street at the rich lady's house, hes not a messiah, and hes not coming to earth to save all of the good people. we are going to just randomly die. just like the fuckign dinasaurs randomly died. it wasnt the hand of god who said, you dinasaurs havent been acting the way i wanted you to act, so im gonna kill you off. its the way the universe works. so what if the world ends? we arent going anywhere. maybe into a bunch of little pieces of dust. BUT ARMAGEDDON ISNT COMING! FUCK! this isnt making sense. too scatterbrained. and, its 50 minutes after i started. im done.
One Glass Bottle Of Coke, Elliott Smith, and a Partridge in A Pear Tree
E>Jaems
last week i was a PA for this panasonic Vericam workshop. that was good times. its kind of sad when that i would rather work doing what i did instead of my normal work at triumph. and heres why: 11 hour days. only $50 a day. PA=bitch, so i was the one who had to get shit for everybody, including food. i really enjoyed doing that though. i got to work at the kbtc studios in tacoma...which, not to my suprise were a honking pile of shit. i met some cool people, and i also actually got to work in the general field that im interested in for a change. it was all in all good times.
------------------------------------------------
its odd the way that things change. i actually dont even know if it is things changing, or me changing. i realized today that the reason why i dont really hang out with anybody has nothing to do with other people. it has a lot to do with me though. i seem to push people away pretty effectively. ive always prided myself on being an independent person...but i think perhaps i have payed too much attention to that, and not enough to other people.
personality flaw- i see too black and white for my own good. i either like somebody, or i dont like them. there are people in the shades of grey, but not many. problem- i give too much effort to the people i like, and none to those i dont. its almost like i dont even see the people i dont care much for. that makes me feel like an asshole, but i guess it is what it is.
____________________________________________
so im feeling really floaty in my thought process right now...its probably a product of my being sidtracked. but heres what im thinking about right this second-
im getting really tired of the references to the world ending. its super annoying. suddenly because things are happening in the world, people feel the need to blame it on the world ending, and that jesus is coming to save us all and its just crap. so what? theres been more natural disasters recently than normal. it doesnt mean that satans footsoldiers are going to jump out of the ground and start a war with angels in the sky...i mean, it would be pretty fun to join in a battle like this..because i only get to live them through movies. it would be fun to wield a sword and chop off demons' heads and such. but i just dont think it would come to that. UGH. sidetracked again. anyways, its doesnt make sense to me that people are freaking out over the amount of natural disasters...theyve happened before. and im sure that theyve happenedmuch worse. but guess what?! the world is still here. now, that isnt to say that the world is always going to be here, because its not. but its not exploding right now, or anytime soon. it has a good few million years left in it. and whats so different now compared to all of the other times natural disasters have happened? in almost every natural disaster, theres somebody saying 'jesus is coming down and armageddon is coming' and all of this shit. its just not true. jesus is the pool guy who works across the street at the rich lady's house, hes not a messiah, and hes not coming to earth to save all of the good people. we are going to just randomly die. just like the fuckign dinasaurs randomly died. it wasnt the hand of god who said, you dinasaurs havent been acting the way i wanted you to act, so im gonna kill you off. its the way the universe works. so what if the world ends? we arent going anywhere. maybe into a bunch of little pieces of dust. BUT ARMAGEDDON ISNT COMING! FUCK! this isnt making sense. too scatterbrained. and, its 50 minutes after i started. im done.
One Glass Bottle Of Coke, Elliott Smith, and a Partridge in A Pear Tree
E>Jaems