#Fic# Kokoro no bodyguard CRACK version #1
Title: Kokoro no bodyguard CRACK version #1 - drabble-
Original author of the fic istheblackheat, link can be found here (read it first please)
author of crack:tanakakoki_fan
Pairing: Akame
Rating: hmmm NC17ish
Disclaimer: Blackheat ALLOWED ME to write a crack version of her fic and allowed me to post it. I don't steal anything and the characters are not mine.
Warning and summary: You HAVE TO readtheblackheat's fic first else you won't understand these lil cracks. You have to know the characters and athmosphere in the fic to understand the humor in this else it will be just a "huh? what is this?" feeling.
AN: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you :)
“Kamenashi Kazuya, You will abandon everything from now on, your ancestors, your possession, your rights and your life to serve your new daimyou(1) Akanishi Jin, from Akanishi clan until your last heartbeat?” Kame raised his gaze up from the floor in all submission to the tall and majestic young man in front of him in the deep purple sokutai(2) made of the finest silk. His dark long hair was held up and hid under a black kanmuri(3) like the aristocrats wear it and making his cheekbones more visible. It caused the young man hold his breath for a short time when those deep brown eyes fall on him and pinned him to the ground. The samurai gulped hardly and breathed out the words before he bent down and kissed his lord’s "sword"...down there.
“Oh my God!”
Prologue (original here)
“Kazuya!... Kazuya! Where are you my sunshine?”
A small giggle was heard from the bushes before a little more than five years old little boy with long chestnut-brown hair run out of them laughing, holding like 20 worms in his hand. "Fishing!! Let's go fishing!"
"Disgusting..."
***
“I’m not a bandit, I’m the queen of pirates, mother.”
"I so knew this boy will turn gay..."
***
“Who is this man mother?” Kazuya asked her worriedly
"The postman"
***
Chapter 1 (original here)
“I will beat you one day Kamenashi and you have to take the second place in the rank. Under me. In EVERY meaning” on their way back to the canteen the taller man slapped his handsome friend’s ass mockingly and gave him a wink.
"Next time you dare to touch me like this, I will use my REAL sword man."
***
There was no one since then who hugged him or kissed him ON THE CHEEKS. Different part we shouldnt mention... He had to grow up quickly and make himself fit into the society which was more gay he had ever met before while living in the geisha house.
***
He was as hard as nails and quick as a... flesh...khmm flash. Everybody who has met him was misled by Kazuya’s slimness and had the image of an easy uke. They were always wrong and suffered total defeat by the seme Kamenashi.
***
“Oh, what an irritated tone! You should spend more time in the companion of women. Let’s go to the geisha house. They can take your depression away.” he slapped Kazuya’s shoulder jokingly and burst out in laughter.
"Not interested, I am gay."
***
He did it until finally a tall young man with long dark hair appeared in the company of other guards on the shipboard. He was wearing simple clothes, nothing luxurious or vivid. Just a leather jacket and sunglasses, chewing a gum, listening to his CD-player which only very rich people had that time. His hair was tied up as any other samurai did and two swords hung on his left side. Kazuya was baffled he expected something different. At least when he imagined a young man just as wealthy as a prince who came back from Kyoto he thought that he would look more… fascinating. Like a real prince. Not like a gaijin and what was he singing? Boom boom boom??
***
He didn’t have more time to ponder about it when the group finished their conversation and headed to the group of samurais. Akanishi Jin stopped in front of him in his whole reality and raised his gaze at Kazuya who almost forgot to bow with the others while scanning the man.
"Uh wait, woah... Did you bring me a girl even here? It was not needed though she is pretty, but why is she wearing samurai's clothes? Oh how I love the humour of my father."
"Oooh fuck you! I am not girlier than you are!" Kazuya glared.
*********
Chapter 2 (original here)
“Don’t worry.” Jin rubbed his father’s hand which took a strong hold on the young man’s shoulder. “I’ve got a good training and we have the best army at home. No one dare to put a finger on me.”
“That may be, but don't get mislead and don't let anyone to put a finger INTO you.”
***
“Jin, as my first born you have to take care of the land and the clan. I leave everything to you my son. Have a good wind and send me a mail or ring me after you got home.”
***
The other men who travelled with him will care about the packages. He wanted to ride home as fast as it was possible. The clothes and other things he carried with himself from Kyoto could wait. Only the sunglasses collection was with one of the servants. It was a must.
***
“So… you look so young. How old are you actually?”
“Two. Figure it out.” Kame snorted back
***
“A unique name to a unique horse.”
"Just dont touch it because it will change to its dragon form and eat you."
***
“Can I do something for your comfort my lord? We can take a little break if you feel like to.” the cheerful voice started to annoy Jin and he didn’t want anything more than dig his feet into the animal under him and fasten the rhythm leaving Bigoted-san behind.
“No. I had some talking with Kamenashi when you disturbed us.” Jin tried not to seem too angry.
“Oh, my deepest apology, but Kameanshi is not good at discourses. May I offer you my presence to have a pleasant conversation my lord?”
"WHICH PART OF "NO" YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND PAL?!? I will decide MYSELF what Kamenashi is good at, just shut up! And NO buts!" Akanishi shouted flaming like a monster.
"What butts?"
*Takeda headchopped*
***
Jin’s eyes followed the young man when that trotted in front of him while their group has crossed a narrow passing-place through the river. His look could burn holes into the small back covered with the black kimono.
And actually it did.
"Ooops... I knew I shouldn't take my sunglass off. Sorry Kamenashi, this is my special power, but hey, nice body. Kamenashi? Huh.... He is dead."
***
Despite the many layers of clothing that contained some ticker material too, Kamenashi Kazuya’s slenderness was below average. His features were not only young but also feminine. The eyebrows that arched in an unbelievable angle were the same chestnut-brown color that the long hair he has worn tide up. He looked beautiful, too beautiful to live a life of a samurai which was indeed dangerous, hard and in most of the case short. Akanishi being too absorbed into ogling Kamenashi that he didn't notice the branch which was in front of his face and his head bumped into it.
"Fuck!"
"Sorry my lord, but I always told you to take the sunglasses off..."
***
Though he was in aware of Akanishi’s wandering eyes which were scanning him from head to toe and he could guess what was going on the heir’s mind. He was wrong though, because Akanishi fantasized about him wearing a schoolgirl uniform, moaning sensually.
***
“Hmm, … nothing changed.” ran out of Jin’s mouth with a deep sigh. It felt if he had left only a few days not three years ago.
"Where are the robots? Where are the Star destroyer and skyscapers?"
"Stupid outsiders coming in...I think you read something during your studies what you shouldn't have....."
***
One of the guards rode forward and led them through the smaller gates. They were passing by the Sangoku-moat, the first and second bailey on the way that got more and more pitched until they reached the third water-wall.
"Are we already there?" Akanishi asked in a bored tone.
***
“Mother, I’ve missed you so much.” Jin hugged the small woman happily and lifted her up from the ground.
“Jin! Jin put me down right now!! Akanishi Jin. WHAT is this hairstyle? What is this coat and... why are your eyes black?!”
"Sunglasses. From the USA!"
"Out!"
************
Chapter 3 (original here)
The life inside the Himeji castle was busier than Jin imagined. When he had told to his father he takes the leading after he got back home hasn’t known it will be that difficult.
He was expecting visits to geisha house everyday for fun, going around with the horse and sometimes had affair with beautiful samurais. And instead? He had to work. Duh...
***
First he checked the keeping of books (hoping to find some erotic ones), and then he met with some servants who were responsible for the several things around the castle (and to his misery no sexy babe among them).
"Why did I come back?!?"
***
When he passed by the last building of the stable a black horse put his head out above the barn door curiously.
"Hey dude, have some candy?"
***
“Please have a tea with me my lord.”
"Tea??? Where is my tequila??"
***
It was refreshing and enjoyable to hear some stories about the time he hasn’t spent there. Sasaki was good at telling them and Jin needed his sleep during the day.
***
“Get away you little…” the man groaned with a dangerous look.
“No! I want to be a samurai too.”
“I won’t say it again, get out of here!”
“No!”
"Okay, then here is a real katana, if you manage not to cut your own head off, then it is the firs step."
***
“I know you old man. You are a harsh teacher and pretty snappish.“ Jin let out a hearty laugh. “How are the new guards like? Are they on your liking? I’m pretty sure you are pulling on their ears whenever they make a little mistake.”
“No, young lord. I’m not that harassing. Why are you telling me that?” Sasaki huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“So, you mean that you are unfair only to the children of the daimyou?”
"Yeah, exactly, I can't stand your guts"
*Headchopped*
***
“Kamenashi is one of the best men, my lord. I highly recommend you to have a look at his technique. You could have a duel with him, I think.”
"Yes, okay. In bed. 20 minutes ago. Tell him, I search my sexy boxer in the meanwhile."
***
Both men were watching Kazuya and talking closely as the young samurai froze on the spot after he let his bow down and turned to them. The first son of the daimyou again wore tight leather pants and a pink hoodie with sunglasses. The dark brown eyes scanned the young man inquiringly while the charming smile sent a shiver down on Kazuya’s spine. 'Now I am sure... the heir is gay and my ass is in danger. Thanks god I have some arrows left.'
***
“Would you show me, Kamenashi?” Jin signaled with his hand after he took the place next to the young man.
Kame sighed and pulled his pants down.
"Here."
***
The breath he had held back meantime left his body after his fingers released the string of his bow and the arrow pierced into the head of some servant walking far away.
"I see... in killing you are perfect...at least." Jin made a remark.
"It is YOUR fault!! Why are you here?!?! Arghh!!"Kame exclaimed angrily.
***
Akanishi waited until he positioned his weapon into the perfect direction and angle before the shot. He concentrated and there was full silence until Kazuya started to speak.
"Hey, you are hot."
Because of this, the heir didn't even shoot the bow near the target.
"I won." the young samurai smirked.
***
His arrow hit the pin, that made the heir pleased, but in other hand he wanted more. His racing mood leveled up at the moment and sent a sign again to the young samurai to continue and waited if he misses or not. Of course Kazuya didn’t miss the target.
"Miss it finally damnit, do you know who you are duelling with?!" Jin said sulking and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
***
“All right Kamenashi. You are pretty good.” the black haired man turned to the young samurai wiping the salty pearls off, which were gathered on the handsome face.
“Thank you my lord. However...you suck."
***
“I’d like to see your skills on other fields too. How about a sword training next time?” came the suggestion from the heir.
"Only if you didn't mean YOUR sword down there." Kame said horrified. "You pervert."
*********
Chapter 4 (original here)
“All right.” Takeda lifted his hands in front of him with resignation. “Don’t stay out alone after darkness.”
Kame gave a deathglare to the man.
"Who are you? My mother??"
***
It was early summer and the cicadas haven’t invaded the trees yet. Only a few of them were chirping their monotone songs.
Two weeks passed and when he again visited the ruins and sat down onto the wooden veranda all he heard was thousands of cicadas chirping in their biggest volume. The young samurai glared, took his bow out and shot them one by one off of the trees.
The next day he poked the shoulder of Akanishi when that was about to go into the castle.
"Hey. Forget our swordfight. I have another fight for you. IF you can shoot the cicadas down from the trees, you win."
***
At least that saved some explanation for the heir. Especially when his eyes glued at the young man when that came to his view. If someone has asked him what he was doing, he would have denied, that he ogled Kamenashi, but practically he did nothing else than that. His all attention was on the slim figure.
"Khmm..." Sasaki patted his back from behind surprising the son. "What are you doing here drooling totally? Here a tissue." Then he shook his head. "I always told your mother you are gay."
***
Kamenashi saw how the heir went down on his knees groaning.
His next move was to take his cock out and say smugly. "Hm. Now let's have a fight with THIS "sword". You are in the right position to attack. Let's see who will win now."
***
“M-my lord… are you… all right?” He leaned above the kneeling man with scared expression and crazy heartbeat.
But it was too late, the son of the daimyou was already dead.
"Yesss!! See? I am able to even defeat a ruler, I have the right to be in the daimyou's bodyguard and protect the son...of...oops........."
***
The heir straddled over his waist line and the man’s wooden bokken was pressed to the samurai’s...one.
"Oh. Level 2. Action!" Jin grinned widely.
***
His gaze was fixed on the plump lips moving in front of his eyes. They were close. Closer than ever and closer than they should be.
With a sudden move, Kazuya turned their position and straddled the lord.
"You want surprises? In this _I_ will win. Here." He smirked and kissed the heir deeply.
***
Takeda was waiting...and waiting and... waiting. But his friend didn't come.
Meanwhile Kame was sulkingly sitting at his secret place with a cheerful Akanishi.
"Wow maaan this place is great, thanks for Ryuukage to show me this place." The heir said delighted.
Kazuya looked at his horse.
"Damn shipper."
***
These are the cracks I was thinking of while reading the first 4 chapters. Should I post the rest too?