Happy Birthday, Lynn!
First, let me say Happy B-day to 
~ Lynn ~.
Happy Birthday! *waves*
Okay, what else?
Sundays are always a day of rest and reflection for me. I take inventory of my week and make sure it was spelled 'week' instead of 'weak'. This one wasn't bad until yesterday morning. I took the rest aspect too far by sleeping through not only Sunday School (because I typically don't go anyway) but managed to snooze right through preaching too. not just late enough to miss going but I was getting up about the time the parking lot was emptying out. This is not an assumption. I actually live close enough to the church to walk. Other than a few property lines and two houses, it's really the only thing near me in fact. This seems to make it all the worse in my mind being that I can shower and such only 15 minutes prior and usually make it in time.
Which is what I did last night. Well, maybe 30 minutes prior, because I even ironed my pants which had been living in the dryer for a few days. My memory is .. I forget the word. Anyway, So I finally got to church with my slackness last night and cruised in to see everyone standing and singing what was the next to last song (my church does some singing, people). I grabbed a seat about halfway up because all the isles near the back were occupied already. It didn't occur to me to sit in one of the many vacant isle seats toward the front until service was almost over. I don't know why I never broke that habit.
So preaching starts and Chad ..uhm, Pastor Chad starts. It's hard to get used to calling him Pastor since we are the same age and I've known him since before he was a preacher. Back to it, Pastor Chad starts preaching by saying he won't keep us long. This usually indicates he has a very finite word for the congregation and feels he wasn't able to "get a break" in his study of the material. This also usually indicates that th4e Lord is waiting until the service begins to open up a research library in Cha.. grr.. pastor Chad's mind. The preaching really wasn't that long but there was a big altar call afterward. he talked about breaking strongholds and that struck me because I tend to church hop a bit on Wednesday nights for fun and that was the same thing another minister talked about recently and it is one of those topics that really excited and grabbed hold of me. I love that!
So he was stepping on toes and hurting feelings (my toes & my feelings mostly 8]) and he says something along the lines of "Why are we always in a hurry to rush up from the altar?" Immediately my mind went to a few weeks ago when there was an altar call given and I was the only one who went down and I stayed there seeking an answer or at least some peace for something that was giving me trouble and when i stood, everyone had been dismissed to the dinner in the activities building. I know it was just the enemy trying to stir up the anger about it but I fought the anger. Now I just have the realization that it took place. It makes me wonder if this is God's way of showing me how I treated Him all those years; like He wasn't there. I'm not saying He is being spiteful; He is God and can't be spiteful because it isn't rooted in righteousness, more of a vengeful thing or a teaching thing maybe? So I'm going to ask Him. or maybe I already did and He already answered and I blew it off. I'm bad about that. I tend to hear what I want. I'm not a good person, I know. I never really got the hang of being human. I have no excuse. It's what I chose. But this is my second chance and I want to be a decent person. I want to mean what I say and only take part in things that grown men take part in. I want people to smile when they see me and not because they're afraid of what I'll do if they don't or because they were told to "exercise caution" in my company but because they see God's love in and around me. I want to be loved. Not the love of a significant other. I don't have issues with that. In fact, that may be why some people in my area will never like me. I've slept with most of their sisters, wives, or daughters. I want to know what it feels like to be loved in ones community because I am a genuinely good man. So far I feel like Silas Marner as played by Colin Farrell.
But that's what I get for sleeping in. God is fair and just. So if I'm half-stepping, I get half a blessing. Is that how it works? I really, really, really need to go cover to cover with the bible. I guess I have my new years resolution if it isn't done before the new year.
~ Lynn ~.
Happy Birthday! *waves*
Okay, what else?
Sundays are always a day of rest and reflection for me. I take inventory of my week and make sure it was spelled 'week' instead of 'weak'. This one wasn't bad until yesterday morning. I took the rest aspect too far by sleeping through not only Sunday School (because I typically don't go anyway) but managed to snooze right through preaching too. not just late enough to miss going but I was getting up about the time the parking lot was emptying out. This is not an assumption. I actually live close enough to the church to walk. Other than a few property lines and two houses, it's really the only thing near me in fact. This seems to make it all the worse in my mind being that I can shower and such only 15 minutes prior and usually make it in time.
Which is what I did last night. Well, maybe 30 minutes prior, because I even ironed my pants which had been living in the dryer for a few days. My memory is .. I forget the word. Anyway, So I finally got to church with my slackness last night and cruised in to see everyone standing and singing what was the next to last song (my church does some singing, people). I grabbed a seat about halfway up because all the isles near the back were occupied already. It didn't occur to me to sit in one of the many vacant isle seats toward the front until service was almost over. I don't know why I never broke that habit.
So preaching starts and Chad ..uhm, Pastor Chad starts. It's hard to get used to calling him Pastor since we are the same age and I've known him since before he was a preacher. Back to it, Pastor Chad starts preaching by saying he won't keep us long. This usually indicates he has a very finite word for the congregation and feels he wasn't able to "get a break" in his study of the material. This also usually indicates that th4e Lord is waiting until the service begins to open up a research library in Cha.. grr.. pastor Chad's mind. The preaching really wasn't that long but there was a big altar call afterward. he talked about breaking strongholds and that struck me because I tend to church hop a bit on Wednesday nights for fun and that was the same thing another minister talked about recently and it is one of those topics that really excited and grabbed hold of me. I love that!
So he was stepping on toes and hurting feelings (my toes & my feelings mostly 8]) and he says something along the lines of "Why are we always in a hurry to rush up from the altar?" Immediately my mind went to a few weeks ago when there was an altar call given and I was the only one who went down and I stayed there seeking an answer or at least some peace for something that was giving me trouble and when i stood, everyone had been dismissed to the dinner in the activities building. I know it was just the enemy trying to stir up the anger about it but I fought the anger. Now I just have the realization that it took place. It makes me wonder if this is God's way of showing me how I treated Him all those years; like He wasn't there. I'm not saying He is being spiteful; He is God and can't be spiteful because it isn't rooted in righteousness, more of a vengeful thing or a teaching thing maybe? So I'm going to ask Him. or maybe I already did and He already answered and I blew it off. I'm bad about that. I tend to hear what I want. I'm not a good person, I know. I never really got the hang of being human. I have no excuse. It's what I chose. But this is my second chance and I want to be a decent person. I want to mean what I say and only take part in things that grown men take part in. I want people to smile when they see me and not because they're afraid of what I'll do if they don't or because they were told to "exercise caution" in my company but because they see God's love in and around me. I want to be loved. Not the love of a significant other. I don't have issues with that. In fact, that may be why some people in my area will never like me. I've slept with most of their sisters, wives, or daughters. I want to know what it feels like to be loved in ones community because I am a genuinely good man. So far I feel like Silas Marner as played by Colin Farrell.
But that's what I get for sleeping in. God is fair and just. So if I'm half-stepping, I get half a blessing. Is that how it works? I really, really, really need to go cover to cover with the bible. I guess I have my new years resolution if it isn't done before the new year.