A Brighter Rainbow
I literally saw this image on Pinterest yesterday, and almost burst into tears of joy on the spot. I decided there and then to download the image and edit it to my own taste (I did so using the Line Camera app; made the background white, and added a rainbow sticker).
Why did this image floor me? Because I related it to Arashi and how I have been feeling this past five weeks. Today marks exactly five weeks since the hiatus announcement and emotionally, I have been all over the place!! I have posted tweets only to delete them. I have composed DMs to my Twitter mutuals, only to delete them. I have even posted three blogs here on my LJ (the last of which was supremely emotional) and then deleted them. I have laughed out loud one minute and burst into tears the next. It took me almost three weeks to watch current VS Arashi and Shiyagare episodes but once I did, it really helped me. I listened to Arashi music after a week to ten days after the hiatus announcement and it really helped me. I would even go so far as to say, it healed me. (That is no exaggeration by the way, it really lifted my spirits...).
I just realised I am talking in past tense, like I was emotionally bereft but I am not any more. Like, I am now in the acceptance phase when in reality I duck in and out of acceptance and grief so often my heart has whiplash!! Granted, I did have a lot going on in my personal life right at the same moment of the hiatus announcement, and I was a nervous wreck because I had to step right out of my comfort zone and enter into a whole new realm. That was enough to cause me emotional distress for several weeks but now that I am much more settled, I came to realise that I actually hadn't been thinking about Arashi non-stop 24/7. So, if that can be deemed as acceptance, then I guess I have had real life distractions to help me overcome the harsh reality? I don't know, I change my mind too often hahaha
So, when I saw this image yesterday "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow" I related it to this: Arashi means storm, and Arashi have been the greatest healer in my life for the past four and a half years therefore making Arashi my greater storm. Arashi are symbolised by a rainbow and many fans make phrases, memes and quotes referring to Arashi being rainbows, and let's face it - Arashi definitely are the brightest thing in my life (aside from my daughter, whom I love dearly). The power of Arashi's presence in my life, the ways in which they have helped and healed me, they have created the brightest rainbow in amidst the mass of storms that real life can dish out. Also, this phrase symbolises for me that Arashi are so great, they will never leave us. Their brightness will never fade away. Yes, they are going on hiatus but they are not abandoning us. They are too great, they are too bright.
Does that make sense? In my messed up, emotional head (and heart) it makes sense to me *hahaha blush*
Addendum: Arashi are my storm, therefore they are the brightest rainbow in my life.