Commercial Rant: The Shick Quatro For Women
Let me just put this out there. Women only use men's razors when they can't find their own. We use razors to shave our legs and armpits and other places because MEN complain if we don't. That scene from Jerry Maguire where the sister tells Renee Z. character not to shave so that she won't be tempted to have sex... yeah, that's pretty much on par. We can't wear a skirt, shorts or even capris unless we shave our stubble. Guys on the other had, can go days, hell weeks without shaving their faces and it only makes them look like they belong in a starbucks somewhere or holding a guitar on an indie stage. It doesn't keep them from wearing anything in particular.
Okay, that having been said, let us proceed on to the description of the offensive advertisement. It starts out showing these harlot women, most of which are fairly scantily clad, working their hardest to graduate from razor thieving school. Each tries to steal the all important, ever coveted razor from the hairless beast of manhood beauty in front of them. They kiss the man to take his razor, or they sneak it away while his back is turned, because everyone knows that all the razors in the world can't possibly be as good as the ONE razor that is possessed by a man who doesn't want you to have it. I MUST HAVE THAT RAZOR MY MAN USES!!!
No. Women use their man's razor not to spite him but for one of the following reasons:
1) We HAVE to shave and our razor is out of blades and/or dull
2) See number one.
3) THAT IS ABOUT IT.
We don't use it because it's metal, or because it has some random number of blades, or even because we think it's better designed than something we have. We use it because it is there. Furthermore, NO WOMAN WOULD STEAL THEIR MAN'S RAZOR. They would just use it, and should a problem arise, the following verbal exchange would most likely take place:
Man: You're using my razor.
Woman: And it means that my legs are no longer hairy.
Man: Hm. Okay.
Woman: Want to feel my legs?
(Man touches Woman's legs.)
Man: Nice. Want to have sex?
And that is pretty much how it would go. There would be no screaming admonishments of horrid razor using bitchiness. No.
This brings me on to my final points. The part in the commercial where they talk about how this razor is made. This one is different... It's made of metal so I guess it's weighted, and best of all, it comes in PINK AND PURPLE! Oh my god! I so totally have to have a pink metal razor! It would match my Motorola phone, which I so totally use in the bathroom!
Again. No. Women really don't really care what color our razor is. We don't care if it's metal or if it matches something.
Here's what women want in a razor. Something that cuts the hair off our skin without cutting the skin. That's it. It doesn't need to color coordinate, it doesn't need smell or taste like things, it doesn't need to be weighted, take a battery (water, electricity, who's bright idea is this), have 90 blades OR be necessarily ergonomic. It just doesn't.
Please... stop marketing to people who aren't the people who you want to buy your product. I beg of you. It only makes me rant more.
Okay, that having been said, let us proceed on to the description of the offensive advertisement. It starts out showing these harlot women, most of which are fairly scantily clad, working their hardest to graduate from razor thieving school. Each tries to steal the all important, ever coveted razor from the hairless beast of manhood beauty in front of them. They kiss the man to take his razor, or they sneak it away while his back is turned, because everyone knows that all the razors in the world can't possibly be as good as the ONE razor that is possessed by a man who doesn't want you to have it. I MUST HAVE THAT RAZOR MY MAN USES!!!
No. Women use their man's razor not to spite him but for one of the following reasons:
1) We HAVE to shave and our razor is out of blades and/or dull
2) See number one.
3) THAT IS ABOUT IT.
We don't use it because it's metal, or because it has some random number of blades, or even because we think it's better designed than something we have. We use it because it is there. Furthermore, NO WOMAN WOULD STEAL THEIR MAN'S RAZOR. They would just use it, and should a problem arise, the following verbal exchange would most likely take place:
Man: You're using my razor.
Woman: And it means that my legs are no longer hairy.
Man: Hm. Okay.
Woman: Want to feel my legs?
(Man touches Woman's legs.)
Man: Nice. Want to have sex?
And that is pretty much how it would go. There would be no screaming admonishments of horrid razor using bitchiness. No.
This brings me on to my final points. The part in the commercial where they talk about how this razor is made. This one is different... It's made of metal so I guess it's weighted, and best of all, it comes in PINK AND PURPLE! Oh my god! I so totally have to have a pink metal razor! It would match my Motorola phone, which I so totally use in the bathroom!
Again. No. Women really don't really care what color our razor is. We don't care if it's metal or if it matches something.
Here's what women want in a razor. Something that cuts the hair off our skin without cutting the skin. That's it. It doesn't need to color coordinate, it doesn't need smell or taste like things, it doesn't need to be weighted, take a battery (water, electricity, who's bright idea is this), have 90 blades OR be necessarily ergonomic. It just doesn't.
Please... stop marketing to people who aren't the people who you want to buy your product. I beg of you. It only makes me rant more.