Valentine's Day Musings
X-posted to my Xanga
Valentine's Day
Most people either fall into one of two catagories about this subject. Either they hate the day with a passion that burns so deeply that they wish to take a sniper rifle to a high point and pick off happy people walking hand in hand, or they greet the day with immense anticipation that has been building in their hearts since Christmas because maybe, just maybe this year, they'll a) have someone to spend it with or b) that someone they are dating will go out of their way to make them feel more special than any other girl.
My personal objection to this day is of the latter catagory. In general, I like Valentine's day. Last year, I walked around campus and randomly handed out fake roses to people who weren't smiling on V-day because everyone should feel special. I admit it, I have a bit of a "man-of-lamancha" complex when it comes to this day. I do think that it's nice not to be single on Valentine's day, but even when I was singl"ish" for it three years ago, I still cared more about letting my friends know that I loved them than the guy I was dating"ish" at the time.
See, and that's my real issue with the whole thing. We don't tell our friends how much we care about them enough. I can tell the people I romantically love that I love them all the time, or rather, I get to. It is rare to find a chance to tell your friends that you love them without it getting all weird and creepy. One such example is thus: I recently found out that I had someone who used me and then the douchebag tried to ruin my reputation when it got out that he'd been using me. One of my friends, at great personal social expense, spoke on my behaf when all of this came out and I wasn't there. He had my back. Now for most people, that's what they expect of a friend. They should have your back when you're not there. For me, I expect it, but I'm never really dissapointed when they fail to do this because I have had 18 years of friends who never did. Last night, I got the chance to tell this good friend just how much that meant to me and how much I love him (as a friend).
Another example. I have a really wonderful friend who was hurting yesterday. I was also throwing myself a mini-pity party becuase of the earlier mentioned asshole's actions. She cared enough for me that even in her down state she was able to help me work through my anger without feeling the need to slash his tires, and then in return, I was (i hope) able to help her with her problem.
This is what friendship should be, people. It SHOULD be love. It SHOULD be people taking care of each other. Friendship is not quid pro quo. It's supposed to be just the basic root of love. No romance, no flowers... not that kind of thing. Friendship is really just love at it's best. A lack of expectations, constant understanding, and support in rough times.
So since it is Valentine's day, I'm going to write this really big and clearly to all:
I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS!!! Happy Valentine's Day to You ALL!!!
Valentine's Day
Most people either fall into one of two catagories about this subject. Either they hate the day with a passion that burns so deeply that they wish to take a sniper rifle to a high point and pick off happy people walking hand in hand, or they greet the day with immense anticipation that has been building in their hearts since Christmas because maybe, just maybe this year, they'll a) have someone to spend it with or b) that someone they are dating will go out of their way to make them feel more special than any other girl.
My personal objection to this day is of the latter catagory. In general, I like Valentine's day. Last year, I walked around campus and randomly handed out fake roses to people who weren't smiling on V-day because everyone should feel special. I admit it, I have a bit of a "man-of-lamancha" complex when it comes to this day. I do think that it's nice not to be single on Valentine's day, but even when I was singl"ish" for it three years ago, I still cared more about letting my friends know that I loved them than the guy I was dating"ish" at the time.
See, and that's my real issue with the whole thing. We don't tell our friends how much we care about them enough. I can tell the people I romantically love that I love them all the time, or rather, I get to. It is rare to find a chance to tell your friends that you love them without it getting all weird and creepy. One such example is thus: I recently found out that I had someone who used me and then the douchebag tried to ruin my reputation when it got out that he'd been using me. One of my friends, at great personal social expense, spoke on my behaf when all of this came out and I wasn't there. He had my back. Now for most people, that's what they expect of a friend. They should have your back when you're not there. For me, I expect it, but I'm never really dissapointed when they fail to do this because I have had 18 years of friends who never did. Last night, I got the chance to tell this good friend just how much that meant to me and how much I love him (as a friend).
Another example. I have a really wonderful friend who was hurting yesterday. I was also throwing myself a mini-pity party becuase of the earlier mentioned asshole's actions. She cared enough for me that even in her down state she was able to help me work through my anger without feeling the need to slash his tires, and then in return, I was (i hope) able to help her with her problem.
This is what friendship should be, people. It SHOULD be love. It SHOULD be people taking care of each other. Friendship is not quid pro quo. It's supposed to be just the basic root of love. No romance, no flowers... not that kind of thing. Friendship is really just love at it's best. A lack of expectations, constant understanding, and support in rough times.
So since it is Valentine's day, I'm going to write this really big and clearly to all:
I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS!!! Happy Valentine's Day to You ALL!!!