(no subject)
So it is over. He was all excited about moving to Vaasa "because of me" like a month and two ago. Now it just won't happen. I hate being with such people, I am too much of a spontaneous and whimsical myself now that I don't have too much energy for self control.
If I weren't this paralyzed by my depression, it would be another thing.
Other than that, I enjoy spontaneous people. But not those who make big "promises", and then suddenly change their minds. Don't fucking make a decision if you're not willing to stick to it. Think it though before you make the decision. It's just so bloody frustrating for me. I'm trying to get on my feet and someone like that pushes me from side to side.
Now I'm in an emotional downslide again. I can't handle break-ups. I wish I never would'vr met him in the first place. No, I can't value the good moments right now. It just would've been easier if I wouldn't have needed to go though this emotional rollercoaster, stayed on stabile grounds, and slowly worked my way up out of this depression.
Damnit. He fell in love with me! Came to Vaasa, made me like him too much and now it's this. He should've left me alone. But then again, it's my fault that he fell in love. I'm "too great". BAH.
FUCK. I don't blame him for my misfortune. I'm not looking for a scapegoat. I'm sorry he likes me. I'm also sorry I like him. But it's not enough. It's over. Damn. I never wanted it to begin in the first place.
Now off to spend my last night with him. I should go cold turkey, but I don't want to.
If I weren't this paralyzed by my depression, it would be another thing.
Other than that, I enjoy spontaneous people. But not those who make big "promises", and then suddenly change their minds. Don't fucking make a decision if you're not willing to stick to it. Think it though before you make the decision. It's just so bloody frustrating for me. I'm trying to get on my feet and someone like that pushes me from side to side.
Now I'm in an emotional downslide again. I can't handle break-ups. I wish I never would'vr met him in the first place. No, I can't value the good moments right now. It just would've been easier if I wouldn't have needed to go though this emotional rollercoaster, stayed on stabile grounds, and slowly worked my way up out of this depression.
Damnit. He fell in love with me! Came to Vaasa, made me like him too much and now it's this. He should've left me alone. But then again, it's my fault that he fell in love. I'm "too great". BAH.
FUCK. I don't blame him for my misfortune. I'm not looking for a scapegoat. I'm sorry he likes me. I'm also sorry I like him. But it's not enough. It's over. Damn. I never wanted it to begin in the first place.
Now off to spend my last night with him. I should go cold turkey, but I don't want to.