If there's light at the end of this tunnel, I hope it's a train.

[80s_child]

one would've thought that with my history one would've ended up immune to pain long ago. And well, I did. I achieved that perfect state of not caring. I had it right there and then. I had it all. And yet I took a piss at that because I thought this time it would end up differently. That I would end up with getting other than the short end of the

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[ric_leonhart]

*triplehug* I'm so sorry it ended up like this :( You really didn't deserve that.

[80s_child]

but secretly this gives you hope. Yay. I feel so comforted.

[ric_leonhart]

What hope should I harbor? That since this happened, you'll come running to me for comfort, maybe even realize how much you miss me after all and come back to me with open arms? :P
I'm not that dense. I had such a hope once, but I have given up on it. Now I'm just sad that a dear friend of mine has to endure pain... Hyne knows you've had enough of it...

[80s_child]

Well, apparently I haven't. If I did, I wouldn't be having more pain. It's too bad that it doesn't work that way, that there'd be a certain quota of pain in one's life, and the bigger and more frequent the doses, the quicker you burn through it til there's none left.

No matter how much pain you'd've had, there'll always be more. The only thing you can choose is how to manage that pain.

I still don't think what's happening here is how it should go. But, it's not my call only. It's not just up to me, or what I wish for.

[ric_leonhart]

*hugs*
If he doesn't want you back after a week, or maximum a month, I'd say he don't know what he lost.

[80s_child]

...or, maybe he won't want me back because he knows exactly what he's lost.