(no subject)
I was addressed a question. The question was "Is the essence of happiness to be ever elusive?"
My answer was:
"To just make this point clear, I am happy at the moment. But, I did battle depression for 10 years out of the 20 I had lived back then and I know how it is to be rock bottom too.
To the main question at hand: I don't think you need to ignore reality in order to be happy (if this is what you meant by "elusive", it has a few definitions and people tend to differ in the exact usage of such words). I have noticed many (depressed) people will themselves into being philanthropists, caring about everyone and everything, no matter how petty, because they have been raised or otherwise conditioned into thinking that caring and empathy is a virtue - which, don't get me wrong, I know it is. The thing here is just that these people tend to martyrize themselves, subject themselves to so much depressing influence, taking to heart every misfortune in their environment, or outside it, like things happening to public persons of all sorts.
What one infact needs to learn is that while empathy is a virtue, it, like everything else can get out of hand and needs a balance. My path to mental recovery began when I learned to not care about giving this "super caring, empathetic" impression to people around me, but, that I could be a perfectly acceptable and good person even if I concentrated on myself and what made me feel well. You need to filter out what's not so necessary to get through into your personal space, and learn to balance and value things after their real worth. You can still be caring, empathetic, listen to your friends' problems, but the trick is to know how hard to take it. Of course, people differ and some just can't "take things lighter", for them it is crucial then to carefully see what they submit themselves to and learn to be more selfish, in a healthy way. I think that society is a bit to blame for this trend as well, as selfishness has an immediate negative tone to it, and selflessness is held up to a near saintlike status in a person's qualities. While selflessness is indeed a virtue, one needs to be on the lookout for martyrism, sacrificing yourself for everything, everywhere, anytime, and embrace the healthy selfishness, the love for yourself. Because honestly, in the end, you'll give much more happiness to people if you only learn first to give that to yourself."
My answer was:
"To just make this point clear, I am happy at the moment. But, I did battle depression for 10 years out of the 20 I had lived back then and I know how it is to be rock bottom too.
To the main question at hand: I don't think you need to ignore reality in order to be happy (if this is what you meant by "elusive", it has a few definitions and people tend to differ in the exact usage of such words). I have noticed many (depressed) people will themselves into being philanthropists, caring about everyone and everything, no matter how petty, because they have been raised or otherwise conditioned into thinking that caring and empathy is a virtue - which, don't get me wrong, I know it is. The thing here is just that these people tend to martyrize themselves, subject themselves to so much depressing influence, taking to heart every misfortune in their environment, or outside it, like things happening to public persons of all sorts.
What one infact needs to learn is that while empathy is a virtue, it, like everything else can get out of hand and needs a balance. My path to mental recovery began when I learned to not care about giving this "super caring, empathetic" impression to people around me, but, that I could be a perfectly acceptable and good person even if I concentrated on myself and what made me feel well. You need to filter out what's not so necessary to get through into your personal space, and learn to balance and value things after their real worth. You can still be caring, empathetic, listen to your friends' problems, but the trick is to know how hard to take it. Of course, people differ and some just can't "take things lighter", for them it is crucial then to carefully see what they submit themselves to and learn to be more selfish, in a healthy way. I think that society is a bit to blame for this trend as well, as selfishness has an immediate negative tone to it, and selflessness is held up to a near saintlike status in a person's qualities. While selflessness is indeed a virtue, one needs to be on the lookout for martyrism, sacrificing yourself for everything, everywhere, anytime, and embrace the healthy selfishness, the love for yourself. Because honestly, in the end, you'll give much more happiness to people if you only learn first to give that to yourself."