Ficlet: Arresting Behaviour (James, Sirius), PG-13
Title: Arresting Behaviour
Author: crooked
Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Random Policeman #23
Summary: They've got to spend their first summer as "adults" doing something, haven't they?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: A bit of strong language, that's all.
Notes: Thanks to magnetic_pole & sambethe for running such a fun comm! ♥
Sirius looks up and down the street, watching for anybody, Muggles or otherwise - who might interrupt the very serious work at hand. He turns back to the storefront with a scowl. "Hurry up, you stupid-"
"You start with the fucking name calling, Padfoot, and I'm leaving your arse right now," the boy inside shouts back, his head hidden behind the body of a mannequin.
"Oi, you- Buggering fuck, just hurry!" Sirius hisses, banging his fist once on the glass. He watches as James lifts his head to flash him an irritatingly smug grin, knowing that Sirius doesn't want the prank to go unfinished. Thousands of Londoners and tourists will pass these windows tomorrow, and they'll be perched atop the roof of the department store, hidden beneath James' cloak and revelling in the scandalised expressions on the peoples' faces. After all, it's not every day you see anatomically-correct mannequins posed in a variety of sexual positions.
James steps back, inspects his handiwork, and Sirius has to admit it's rather bloody brilliant. He was going to do the posing himself but James put up a fuss, and Sirius lost the knut toss. Still, James has done a damn fine job.
"Nice touch making that one bird grab the other's tit, mate," Sirius remarks with a laugh as James appears beside him with a loud crack. Both boys turn their attention on the mannequin orgy before them, congratulating each other for work well done. They're so busy snickering at the bloke in the centre (the one who is so obviously not modelled after either of them, as well-endowed as they think they are) that they don't hear the shuffle of footsteps on the sidewalk as someone rounds the corner.
"Evening, boys," a voice calls out, and Sirius nearly jumps out of his skin. James whirls around beside him, and he knows his friend's heart must be in his bloody throat too. A policeman is standing just about a metre back, his hand on his baton. He eyes the boys, and then takes in the sight behind them. Sirius just has to snicker at the wide-eyed expression that comes over his face. James stops it with a sharp elbow to the ribs. "What in God's name..."
Sirius can't help himself; he just answers without thinking. "Quite sure it's not in God's name that something like this takes place. Though, you might have a point. You won't believe how many times I've been mistaken for Him in the throes of passion, as it were." He can almost feel James grinning beside him, despite the fact that the boy's ducked his head to hide it from the officer.
"You think you're clever, do you?" he asks, and Sirius just shrugs. He actually thinks he's rather brilliant but he's not sure this is exactly the right time to correct Officer Prude... or whatever his name is. The policeman walks right toward the boys, shouldering both aside as he inspects the glass of the store's window. Of course, nothing's broken - but then again, he doesn't know about the wands in their back pockets.
James seems to cotton on to something because Sirius sees him step forward. "Oh no, sir, you don't think that we-? It's impossible! We were just out for a bit of fresh air, it being such a lovely night and all, when we happened upon this display. We did nothing more than laugh at someone's crude humour."
"Right!" Sirius pipes in. He just manages to dodge James' second elbow, the elbow that was trying to say 'Shut up, you stupid git! I'll handle this'. But it's just too late. "I mean, look at that unbroken glass. We'd have had to break in without setting off a single alarm. We're good, sir, but we're not that good."
As they sit in the police station some twenty minutes later, James can only glower at Sirius. "You and your fucking big mouth. Why didn't you just go all the way and bloody show him how we did it?"
Sirius leans back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the table in the small room. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, Prongs," he says as if they've not just been arrested on suspicion of trespassing, among other things. In all honesty, Sirius has no idea how he's going to get them out of this one. There are those Muggle recording devices in the corner, and that officer keeps checking on them every few minutes. It all adds up to an escape that's going to take the most elaborate scheming that they've seen since leaving Hogwarts two months ago. Either that or…
"Officer?"
"Sirius, what are you-"
The policeman opens the door. "What is it?"
"I'd like to make a phone call, please. Mr Remus Lupin."
Poll
Author: crooked
Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Random Policeman #23
Summary: They've got to spend their first summer as "adults" doing something, haven't they?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: A bit of strong language, that's all.
Notes: Thanks to magnetic_pole & sambethe for running such a fun comm! ♥
Sirius looks up and down the street, watching for anybody, Muggles or otherwise - who might interrupt the very serious work at hand. He turns back to the storefront with a scowl. "Hurry up, you stupid-"
"You start with the fucking name calling, Padfoot, and I'm leaving your arse right now," the boy inside shouts back, his head hidden behind the body of a mannequin.
"Oi, you- Buggering fuck, just hurry!" Sirius hisses, banging his fist once on the glass. He watches as James lifts his head to flash him an irritatingly smug grin, knowing that Sirius doesn't want the prank to go unfinished. Thousands of Londoners and tourists will pass these windows tomorrow, and they'll be perched atop the roof of the department store, hidden beneath James' cloak and revelling in the scandalised expressions on the peoples' faces. After all, it's not every day you see anatomically-correct mannequins posed in a variety of sexual positions.
James steps back, inspects his handiwork, and Sirius has to admit it's rather bloody brilliant. He was going to do the posing himself but James put up a fuss, and Sirius lost the knut toss. Still, James has done a damn fine job.
"Nice touch making that one bird grab the other's tit, mate," Sirius remarks with a laugh as James appears beside him with a loud crack. Both boys turn their attention on the mannequin orgy before them, congratulating each other for work well done. They're so busy snickering at the bloke in the centre (the one who is so obviously not modelled after either of them, as well-endowed as they think they are) that they don't hear the shuffle of footsteps on the sidewalk as someone rounds the corner.
"Evening, boys," a voice calls out, and Sirius nearly jumps out of his skin. James whirls around beside him, and he knows his friend's heart must be in his bloody throat too. A policeman is standing just about a metre back, his hand on his baton. He eyes the boys, and then takes in the sight behind them. Sirius just has to snicker at the wide-eyed expression that comes over his face. James stops it with a sharp elbow to the ribs. "What in God's name..."
Sirius can't help himself; he just answers without thinking. "Quite sure it's not in God's name that something like this takes place. Though, you might have a point. You won't believe how many times I've been mistaken for Him in the throes of passion, as it were." He can almost feel James grinning beside him, despite the fact that the boy's ducked his head to hide it from the officer.
"You think you're clever, do you?" he asks, and Sirius just shrugs. He actually thinks he's rather brilliant but he's not sure this is exactly the right time to correct Officer Prude... or whatever his name is. The policeman walks right toward the boys, shouldering both aside as he inspects the glass of the store's window. Of course, nothing's broken - but then again, he doesn't know about the wands in their back pockets.
James seems to cotton on to something because Sirius sees him step forward. "Oh no, sir, you don't think that we-? It's impossible! We were just out for a bit of fresh air, it being such a lovely night and all, when we happened upon this display. We did nothing more than laugh at someone's crude humour."
"Right!" Sirius pipes in. He just manages to dodge James' second elbow, the elbow that was trying to say 'Shut up, you stupid git! I'll handle this'. But it's just too late. "I mean, look at that unbroken glass. We'd have had to break in without setting off a single alarm. We're good, sir, but we're not that good."
As they sit in the police station some twenty minutes later, James can only glower at Sirius. "You and your fucking big mouth. Why didn't you just go all the way and bloody show him how we did it?"
Sirius leans back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the table in the small room. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, Prongs," he says as if they've not just been arrested on suspicion of trespassing, among other things. In all honesty, Sirius has no idea how he's going to get them out of this one. There are those Muggle recording devices in the corner, and that officer keeps checking on them every few minutes. It all adds up to an escape that's going to take the most elaborate scheming that they've seen since leaving Hogwarts two months ago. Either that or…
"Officer?"
"Sirius, what are you-"
The policeman opens the door. "What is it?"
"I'd like to make a phone call, please. Mr Remus Lupin."
Poll