Don't let the fic take over!
*Waves* Hello, all, I’m Laura. I just found this community a few weeks ago, realized I knew a whole bunch of the members, decided it was undignified to lurk, and joined. Hurrah.
Yesterday, I was poking through the dark depths of FFN, when I came across a rather fantastic waste of bandwidth, spectacular only in the fact that it’s virtually indistinguishable from 95% of the other stories there. What can I say? I decided to have some fun. So here you are: a sort-of-but-not-really-MST of a (we’ll call it a story, shall we?) story with the delightful title of Journey to the Past, written by Lily Evans Wannabe. Kudos to her. I have no idea if this will amuse you at all, but I certainly managed to amuse myself.
It should be noted that I have nothing against the author personally, and I think it’s wonderful she writes. Also, I owe apologies to the author of the Snape fic mentioned in here, the producers of Spartacus (sp?!), and Cassandra Claire. no apologies to Cassie Clare. She has wrought it upon herself.
This was not happening. This could not be happening. But all to clearly, it was. Readers braced themselves for the blow; MST-ers cracked their knuckles in anticipation; the author leaned back to wait for the reviews; Somewhere, JKR writhed in agony. Yes. The fic had begun. Lily Evans woke up in a panic.
“Wocha doing Lily?” asked Lily’s good friend Jenny while rubbing her eyes.
”I’m panicking, you idiot!” Lily snapped, “Clearly, I’ve just had some sort of hormone filled epiphany about James Potter! Did you not even read the script?!”
“Sorry,” Jenny replied, “I got it totally mixed up with this fic I’m appearing in this afternoon as an American Exchange student. So sorry.”
“Don’t let it happen again,” Lily ordered, “honestly,” She sighed, rolling her eyes, “Mary-Sues.”
Jenny froze. “What did you just call me?”
Lily smirked. “Mary-Sue,” she replied nonchalantly.
“I am not a Mary-Sue,” Jenny fumed, “I am a fully-formed, three-dimensional, believable, Original Character.”
“Oh, screw political correctness,” Lily snorted, “Wake up Jenny! You’ve got no purpose in this story, you’ve got no personality, and no real subplot. All you’ve got is nice hair. You’re a Mary-Sue.”
“At least,” Jenny said in a voice of barely controlled fury, “I’ve got curves in all the right places!”
“Hah! You see this?” Lily demanded, grabbing a chunck of hair, “these are flowing, fire-hued locks. Incidentally, my hair smells like sangria. And these,” She continued furiously, gesturing at her eyes, “are emerald orbs. Beat that, beeotch!”
“You little bitch!” snarled Jenny, “you are on!”
“You skanky cow!” screamed Lily, leaping at Jenny.
The director coughed quietly.
“…ladies…”
“Take that!” shrieked Jenny, bitchslapping Lily across the face.
“…ladies…”
“You wanna know my name?” snarled Jenny, placing a frightening stilleto-ed heel on Lily’s cowering form.
“No!” Lily gasped in horror. The extras braced themselves. The director sighed.
“I am Jennifer Alexandria Clarrisa Maybelle Tia Maria Bountiful Sapphire-“
“No!” moaned Lily, “Make it stop!”
“Amathyst Courtney Raine Orange-“
“Ladies!” The director roared, “if you don’t mind?”
“Sorry,” Lilly and Jenny muttered, glaring at each other.
“Jenny, from your line, please,” The director ordered.”
“Wocha doing Lily?” asked Lily’s good friend Jenny while rubbing her eyes.
“Stop rubbing my eyes, Jenny!” Lily snapped irritably.
“Sorry,” Jenny replied, “it’s a nervous twitch.”
“Nothing.” But it was something. Lily had just had a dream about the one and only James Potter. James Potter Lily repeated with disgust. Lily happened to be the bane of his existence for the past six years. Ever since she first went to Hogwarts.
Pushing it out of her mind she tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. The dream seemed so real. She had lived with Potter. She can’t stand to hear his voice let alone live with him. But the truth was all summer she couldn’t get Potter out of her head. As much as she tried he just stuck there.
‘Oh sod it’ I speak British! Thought the author proudly.thought Lily about sleeping . It was starting to become light already so she wandered down to the kitchen. As she sat on her couch she found her mind wandering to Potter, once again.
“I guess he’s not that bad” stated Lily.
“Who’s not that bad? We both know Phil isn’t bad” giggled Jenny apparently appearing out of thin air.
“Oh shush you” but Jenny didn’t miss the fact that Lily was blushing. Phil was Lily’s next door neighbor who was a muggle. Lily and him were very good friends though Jenny was sure that something was going on between them. And the fact that neither of them ever denied it did not help Lily’s case.
“Well, we are leaving this morning. Might as well go and get ready.”
“Kay. Race you upstairs!” shouted Jenny who had already started running.
“You cheater! Get back here!” This was the reason Lily loved hanging out with Jenny. Her spontaneous, happy attitude often mirrored Lily’s bad temper that came with her fiery hair.
A few hours later the girls found themselves stepping into platform nine and three quarters for the last time. Stepping onto the train they met up with the other Gryffindor seventh years.
“Merlin Lily. Head Girl. I knew you would get it” whispered Erica, the shyest girl in the year. Erica was very sweet and had a secret crush on Remus Lupin that only Lily knew about.
“Oh thank you. That reminds me. I wonder who head boy is?”
“Probably Remus. He is the most capable” declared Jenny. Lily stole a glance at Erica. Last year whenever somebody mentioned Remus she would flush bright red and have to excuse herself.
But Lily knew that Remus wouldn’t get head boy. Remus and her had become very close friends over the past few years and their was one reason why he couldn’t do it. Lily knew it upset him but he worked through it.poor Remus, Lily thought. A few months ago, a misguided fangirl had cast Remus opposite Snape in a fic involving chains and some highly disturbing uses for goldfish. Lily shook her head. Remus still hadn’t quite gotten over it.
“Either way I’m about to find out.” Lily said walking out the door. “I have to go to a meeting for the prefects now. Wish me luck!” Lily heard shouts of goodbye and good lucks from her friends.
Savanna back in the compartment broke out into a fit of laughter as everyone stared at her.
”I think this may be Sirius’ counterpart with breasts,” Someone whispered.
“just don’t…make eye contact,” someone muttered out of the corner of their mouth, “and avoid any sudden moves.”
“What’s so funny?” questioned everyone.
“I know who the head boy is.” She paused to make sure she had everyone’s attention. That is just how Savanna is. But the name was drowned out by the scream of a girl. And that girl happened to be Lily.
“Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes.”Lily moaned, collapsing in ecstasy. The extras hired to be prefects gaped at her. She froze. “Where are we exactly?” she murmured, flipping through the script, “Oh! Sorry, sorry, getting way ahead of myself there. Right, right… highly improbable sex scene written by a thirteen year old who’s never taken an anatomy course isn’t until after the Yule Ball. Gotcha. Carry on, then.”
“There’s a sex scene?” an extra asked fearfully.
“Oh yes,” Lily told her, “it will be our first time, but it will be fantastic! But I’ll probably cry initially, and James will ask me if I’m sure about this, but since I love him, I’ll say yes…”
“As long as James doesn’t cry,” someone muttered in the back.
“But how can they allow such a thing?” a particularly naive extra/prefect asked in horror.
Lily shook her head grimly. “No one reviews things honestly anymore. Fewer and fewer people are writing in order to improve their writing. It’s all a big ego trip, now. I fear for the future.”
“is the author lik, omg, a tutl revew slutt!!!!!!1111!!!!!!?” someone asked.
Lily stared at them. “Don’t ever do that again,” she told them.
“Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes.”
“Shut up already!” shouted Sirius slapping James across the face. “You’re becoming a spineless amoeba defined only by your love for Lily! Pull yourself together, man! Don’t let the fic take over!” for James had been saying ‘Oh yes’ over and over again for the last half hour. “I know you’re excited that you get to work with Lily, Mr. Head Boy, but she will still hate you.”
”Aahhh…” moaned Remus, rocking back and forth in the fetal position, “Rapid. Switching. Of Time. And Place…”
“Oh yes. Oh…Hey! I will woo her with my charm.”
“Just like you did last year? Or how about in fifth year? Has she gone out with the giant squid yet?” the Marauders burst into laughter.
“Ok you just see. By the end of this year Lily Evans will be in love with me.”
“I’ll shake you on it” said Sirius feeling confident. Both of the boys shook hands thinking that the other had made a bad decision.
“What are you betting?” came the small voice of Peter Pettigrew.
“Not money. That’s not fun at all.” James often sat talking to himself like this.
“What the hell?” demanded James, “How is speaking to Peter speaking to myself?”
“It’s ok,” Peter told him sadly, “Author’s don’t like me. I try not to take it personally.”
The others had given up on him because every time they made him aware of this he had denied it. “How about loser has to moon Dumbledore.”
“McGonagall”
“Filch” piped in Remus over his book. “I have a book.” Remus commented, “ a book. This means I am the smart one. I am also shy and boring,” he continued, looking more unhappy, “and I am most likely wearing a sweater. But I am Smart.”
Peter and James gaped at him.
“Don’t mind him,” Sirius whispered, “He needs some form of validation, poor dear.”
“And a full moon. Not one of those weak little half moon while running that Peter did in third year to Snape” All of the boys laughed at the memory while Peter turned red. He had lost at a muggle game called poker and has refused to play ever since then.
“Okay deal. Nice job Padfoot you made me not early.”
”…You mean late?” Peter asked.
“Shut it, you” Remus barked, “keep your head down, or the author might decide to cut you out of the story altogether.”
“Just don’t say or do anything” James advised.
“That’s what friends are for Prongsy boy”
“Do not call me that Paddy. Now time to go meet my fair maiden. Farewell” walking to the heads meeting.
”Whoa,” Sirius said, “For a second there, I thought we were in one of those bizarre AU historical fics.”
“Give ‘em credit,” Remus chastised, “most of those are pretty good. It’s the time travel fics you want to watch out for.”
“Oh, I hate those,” moaned Peter, “I always get left behind.”
He got in their first out of the prefects and Lily. In fact, he wasn’t even sure Lily was head girl. She seemed like the best choice but who knows how Dumbledore’s brain works. His thoughts were shattered by an ear splitting scream.
“Merlin Lily. What the hell?”
“Sorry,” she replied, “fic got the better of me again.”
“I know how that feels,” James replied sympathetically.
“Nice quidditich-toned muscles, though,” Lily commented.
“Yeah, not bad, eh?” he remarked, “Who knew sitting on a broom could provide so much definition?”
“Watch your language.”
How can she manage to lecture him on his language at a moment like this?
“What are you doing in here Potter? Where is the head boy? Oh I see. This is a prank; you took the head boy badge. So where is he? Did you lock him in a compartment? I can give you a detention!” rambled a flustered red head. She had a bad habit of rambling whenever she didn’t know what to do or say.
“Whoa Evans slow down. I am in here for the meeting. I am head boy Sparticus. Whoa, Thought James, Cassandra Clare moment. I haven’t started pranking yet. Unless you count one Sirius and I pulled last week. Locking someone in a compartment?”
Is he really answering all of my questions? I don’t even know what I asked. Neither do we, Lily Evans. Neither do we.
“That’s so very juvenile. I will pretend that you just coughed because it dusty in here and for no other reason. And I can also give you a detention to break your clean little record” James gave a slick smile.
“I’m not entirely sure what you just said,” Lily commented, “but I feel a feisty redhead moment coming on!”
“You wouldn’t”
“Oh I would. Unless you’ll go” but James was interrupted by a slap to his cheek. “Ouch. That hurt.” He said rubbing his face.
Lily felt a pang of sympathy for hitting him but immediately replaced it with anger. They hadn’t been talking for a minute and he was asking her out already.
“What’s going on?” a random prefect asked his neighbor.
“I think my head is going to explode” they replied serenely.
“I was gonna ask if you would go get the list that Dumbledore left with the driver.”
“So you weren’t asking me o-o-out?” stammered Lily.
“No. Ok well, prefects.” Mumbled James clearly upset that Lily thought so low of him.
“What about them?” Lily was very confused. Oh yes this was a meeting for the prefects as well as the heads. “We have to inform the new fifth years what their duties are and assign patrol times. The sixth and seventh years should know what to do by now. Everything should go smoothly hoping you don’t screw anything up.” Lily said glaring at James. His shoulders fell down even more.
“Would you mind picking up my shoulders?” James asked, “they keep dropping.”
Lily was about to apologize for assuming he was asking her out but then remembered who she was talking to. “I guess I’ll go and get the list” Lily said though it was barely audible.
“but… Shoulders?” James asked, “I need them to move my arms. Pick them up on your way out… Please?”
“Gotcha I’ll let you be in control”
Lily was obviously in shock when at the beginning of the meeting James stood up and became professional. In fact she did not say one word the entire meeting. Just stared at James. Well more of looking in his general direction because Lily Evans would never get caught staring at James Potter. “Everyone is leaving. Why is everyone leaving?”
“Evans why are you screaming.” Lily did not realize she said the last thoughts out loud.
“I’m always screaming,” Lily reminded him resentfully, “and you can thank OOTP for that. One little glance in a pensieve and I went from being the fifth marauder to some overly anal little prig; screwing to screaming in less than 250 words.”
“Sorry. Must have zoned out for a second.”
“Try the entire meeting. What was wrong with you besides your blatant lack of personality?” but before Lily could figure out what to say he had continued. “And I’ve been thinking. Since we are going to be living together this year I figure we should be on a first name basis. Hello Lily I am James. Now you turn.”
“Oh sod off” British, thought the author happily. Lily said as she got up to leave. She wanted to figure out what was wrong with her. It was probably just the lack of punctuation, but one can never be too careful. But once she thought she was out of earshot she added a soft “James” and shut the door.
“Oh look,” sighed a random prefect/extra, “ A Moment.”
“She was so not out of earshot. Woo! Yes!” yelled James as he jumped up and down. He had managed to survive a whole meeting without embarrassing himself. And when she said his name it sounded so natural. Finally when James had started to calm down he headed back to his compartment.
James: *headdesk*
Lily:*facepalm*
Sirius:*headwall*
Remus:*headexplodes*
Peter:*dies*
Her summary: Lily Evans is head girl and has to deal with the one and only James Potter. Will she be able to survive? Will he keep his cool?
My summary: Pandemonium reigns on the Hogwarts express! Lily is bitchslapped by an OC! Remus has a book! There is a distinct lack of punctuation!
Yesterday, I was poking through the dark depths of FFN, when I came across a rather fantastic waste of bandwidth, spectacular only in the fact that it’s virtually indistinguishable from 95% of the other stories there. What can I say? I decided to have some fun. So here you are: a sort-of-but-not-really-MST of a (we’ll call it a story, shall we?) story with the delightful title of Journey to the Past, written by Lily Evans Wannabe. Kudos to her. I have no idea if this will amuse you at all, but I certainly managed to amuse myself.
It should be noted that I have nothing against the author personally, and I think it’s wonderful she writes. Also, I owe apologies to the author of the Snape fic mentioned in here, the producers of Spartacus (sp?!), and Cassandra Claire. no apologies to Cassie Clare. She has wrought it upon herself.
This was not happening. This could not be happening. But all to clearly, it was. Readers braced themselves for the blow; MST-ers cracked their knuckles in anticipation; the author leaned back to wait for the reviews; Somewhere, JKR writhed in agony. Yes. The fic had begun. Lily Evans woke up in a panic.
“Wocha doing Lily?” asked Lily’s good friend Jenny while rubbing her eyes.
”I’m panicking, you idiot!” Lily snapped, “Clearly, I’ve just had some sort of hormone filled epiphany about James Potter! Did you not even read the script?!”
“Sorry,” Jenny replied, “I got it totally mixed up with this fic I’m appearing in this afternoon as an American Exchange student. So sorry.”
“Don’t let it happen again,” Lily ordered, “honestly,” She sighed, rolling her eyes, “Mary-Sues.”
Jenny froze. “What did you just call me?”
Lily smirked. “Mary-Sue,” she replied nonchalantly.
“I am not a Mary-Sue,” Jenny fumed, “I am a fully-formed, three-dimensional, believable, Original Character.”
“Oh, screw political correctness,” Lily snorted, “Wake up Jenny! You’ve got no purpose in this story, you’ve got no personality, and no real subplot. All you’ve got is nice hair. You’re a Mary-Sue.”
“At least,” Jenny said in a voice of barely controlled fury, “I’ve got curves in all the right places!”
“Hah! You see this?” Lily demanded, grabbing a chunck of hair, “these are flowing, fire-hued locks. Incidentally, my hair smells like sangria. And these,” She continued furiously, gesturing at her eyes, “are emerald orbs. Beat that, beeotch!”
“You little bitch!” snarled Jenny, “you are on!”
“You skanky cow!” screamed Lily, leaping at Jenny.
The director coughed quietly.
“…ladies…”
“Take that!” shrieked Jenny, bitchslapping Lily across the face.
“…ladies…”
“You wanna know my name?” snarled Jenny, placing a frightening stilleto-ed heel on Lily’s cowering form.
“No!” Lily gasped in horror. The extras braced themselves. The director sighed.
“I am Jennifer Alexandria Clarrisa Maybelle Tia Maria Bountiful Sapphire-“
“No!” moaned Lily, “Make it stop!”
“Amathyst Courtney Raine Orange-“
“Ladies!” The director roared, “if you don’t mind?”
“Sorry,” Lilly and Jenny muttered, glaring at each other.
“Jenny, from your line, please,” The director ordered.”
“Wocha doing Lily?” asked Lily’s good friend Jenny while rubbing her eyes.
“Stop rubbing my eyes, Jenny!” Lily snapped irritably.
“Sorry,” Jenny replied, “it’s a nervous twitch.”
“Nothing.” But it was something. Lily had just had a dream about the one and only James Potter. James Potter Lily repeated with disgust. Lily happened to be the bane of his existence for the past six years. Ever since she first went to Hogwarts.
Pushing it out of her mind she tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. The dream seemed so real. She had lived with Potter. She can’t stand to hear his voice let alone live with him. But the truth was all summer she couldn’t get Potter out of her head. As much as she tried he just stuck there.
‘Oh sod it’ I speak British! Thought the author proudly.thought Lily about sleeping . It was starting to become light already so she wandered down to the kitchen. As she sat on her couch she found her mind wandering to Potter, once again.
“I guess he’s not that bad” stated Lily.
“Who’s not that bad? We both know Phil isn’t bad” giggled Jenny apparently appearing out of thin air.
“Oh shush you” but Jenny didn’t miss the fact that Lily was blushing. Phil was Lily’s next door neighbor who was a muggle. Lily and him were very good friends though Jenny was sure that something was going on between them. And the fact that neither of them ever denied it did not help Lily’s case.
“Well, we are leaving this morning. Might as well go and get ready.”
“Kay. Race you upstairs!” shouted Jenny who had already started running.
“You cheater! Get back here!” This was the reason Lily loved hanging out with Jenny. Her spontaneous, happy attitude often mirrored Lily’s bad temper that came with her fiery hair.
A few hours later the girls found themselves stepping into platform nine and three quarters for the last time. Stepping onto the train they met up with the other Gryffindor seventh years.
“Merlin Lily. Head Girl. I knew you would get it” whispered Erica, the shyest girl in the year. Erica was very sweet and had a secret crush on Remus Lupin that only Lily knew about.
“Oh thank you. That reminds me. I wonder who head boy is?”
“Probably Remus. He is the most capable” declared Jenny. Lily stole a glance at Erica. Last year whenever somebody mentioned Remus she would flush bright red and have to excuse herself.
But Lily knew that Remus wouldn’t get head boy. Remus and her had become very close friends over the past few years and their was one reason why he couldn’t do it. Lily knew it upset him but he worked through it.poor Remus, Lily thought. A few months ago, a misguided fangirl had cast Remus opposite Snape in a fic involving chains and some highly disturbing uses for goldfish. Lily shook her head. Remus still hadn’t quite gotten over it.
“Either way I’m about to find out.” Lily said walking out the door. “I have to go to a meeting for the prefects now. Wish me luck!” Lily heard shouts of goodbye and good lucks from her friends.
Savanna back in the compartment broke out into a fit of laughter as everyone stared at her.
”I think this may be Sirius’ counterpart with breasts,” Someone whispered.
“just don’t…make eye contact,” someone muttered out of the corner of their mouth, “and avoid any sudden moves.”
“What’s so funny?” questioned everyone.
“I know who the head boy is.” She paused to make sure she had everyone’s attention. That is just how Savanna is. But the name was drowned out by the scream of a girl. And that girl happened to be Lily.
“Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes.”Lily moaned, collapsing in ecstasy. The extras hired to be prefects gaped at her. She froze. “Where are we exactly?” she murmured, flipping through the script, “Oh! Sorry, sorry, getting way ahead of myself there. Right, right… highly improbable sex scene written by a thirteen year old who’s never taken an anatomy course isn’t until after the Yule Ball. Gotcha. Carry on, then.”
“There’s a sex scene?” an extra asked fearfully.
“Oh yes,” Lily told her, “it will be our first time, but it will be fantastic! But I’ll probably cry initially, and James will ask me if I’m sure about this, but since I love him, I’ll say yes…”
“As long as James doesn’t cry,” someone muttered in the back.
“But how can they allow such a thing?” a particularly naive extra/prefect asked in horror.
Lily shook her head grimly. “No one reviews things honestly anymore. Fewer and fewer people are writing in order to improve their writing. It’s all a big ego trip, now. I fear for the future.”
“is the author lik, omg, a tutl revew slutt!!!!!!1111!!!!!!?” someone asked.
Lily stared at them. “Don’t ever do that again,” she told them.
“Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes.”
“Shut up already!” shouted Sirius slapping James across the face. “You’re becoming a spineless amoeba defined only by your love for Lily! Pull yourself together, man! Don’t let the fic take over!” for James had been saying ‘Oh yes’ over and over again for the last half hour. “I know you’re excited that you get to work with Lily, Mr. Head Boy, but she will still hate you.”
”Aahhh…” moaned Remus, rocking back and forth in the fetal position, “Rapid. Switching. Of Time. And Place…”
“Oh yes. Oh…Hey! I will woo her with my charm.”
“Just like you did last year? Or how about in fifth year? Has she gone out with the giant squid yet?” the Marauders burst into laughter.
“Ok you just see. By the end of this year Lily Evans will be in love with me.”
“I’ll shake you on it” said Sirius feeling confident. Both of the boys shook hands thinking that the other had made a bad decision.
“What are you betting?” came the small voice of Peter Pettigrew.
“Not money. That’s not fun at all.” James often sat talking to himself like this.
“What the hell?” demanded James, “How is speaking to Peter speaking to myself?”
“It’s ok,” Peter told him sadly, “Author’s don’t like me. I try not to take it personally.”
The others had given up on him because every time they made him aware of this he had denied it. “How about loser has to moon Dumbledore.”
“McGonagall”
“Filch” piped in Remus over his book. “I have a book.” Remus commented, “ a book. This means I am the smart one. I am also shy and boring,” he continued, looking more unhappy, “and I am most likely wearing a sweater. But I am Smart.”
Peter and James gaped at him.
“Don’t mind him,” Sirius whispered, “He needs some form of validation, poor dear.”
“And a full moon. Not one of those weak little half moon while running that Peter did in third year to Snape” All of the boys laughed at the memory while Peter turned red. He had lost at a muggle game called poker and has refused to play ever since then.
“Okay deal. Nice job Padfoot you made me not early.”
”…You mean late?” Peter asked.
“Shut it, you” Remus barked, “keep your head down, or the author might decide to cut you out of the story altogether.”
“Just don’t say or do anything” James advised.
“That’s what friends are for Prongsy boy”
“Do not call me that Paddy. Now time to go meet my fair maiden. Farewell” walking to the heads meeting.
”Whoa,” Sirius said, “For a second there, I thought we were in one of those bizarre AU historical fics.”
“Give ‘em credit,” Remus chastised, “most of those are pretty good. It’s the time travel fics you want to watch out for.”
“Oh, I hate those,” moaned Peter, “I always get left behind.”
He got in their first out of the prefects and Lily. In fact, he wasn’t even sure Lily was head girl. She seemed like the best choice but who knows how Dumbledore’s brain works. His thoughts were shattered by an ear splitting scream.
“Merlin Lily. What the hell?”
“Sorry,” she replied, “fic got the better of me again.”
“I know how that feels,” James replied sympathetically.
“Nice quidditich-toned muscles, though,” Lily commented.
“Yeah, not bad, eh?” he remarked, “Who knew sitting on a broom could provide so much definition?”
“Watch your language.”
How can she manage to lecture him on his language at a moment like this?
“What are you doing in here Potter? Where is the head boy? Oh I see. This is a prank; you took the head boy badge. So where is he? Did you lock him in a compartment? I can give you a detention!” rambled a flustered red head. She had a bad habit of rambling whenever she didn’t know what to do or say.
“Whoa Evans slow down. I am in here for the meeting. I am head boy Sparticus. Whoa, Thought James, Cassandra Clare moment. I haven’t started pranking yet. Unless you count one Sirius and I pulled last week. Locking someone in a compartment?”
Is he really answering all of my questions? I don’t even know what I asked. Neither do we, Lily Evans. Neither do we.
“That’s so very juvenile. I will pretend that you just coughed because it dusty in here and for no other reason. And I can also give you a detention to break your clean little record” James gave a slick smile.
“I’m not entirely sure what you just said,” Lily commented, “but I feel a feisty redhead moment coming on!”
“You wouldn’t”
“Oh I would. Unless you’ll go” but James was interrupted by a slap to his cheek. “Ouch. That hurt.” He said rubbing his face.
Lily felt a pang of sympathy for hitting him but immediately replaced it with anger. They hadn’t been talking for a minute and he was asking her out already.
“What’s going on?” a random prefect asked his neighbor.
“I think my head is going to explode” they replied serenely.
“I was gonna ask if you would go get the list that Dumbledore left with the driver.”
“So you weren’t asking me o-o-out?” stammered Lily.
“No. Ok well, prefects.” Mumbled James clearly upset that Lily thought so low of him.
“What about them?” Lily was very confused. Oh yes this was a meeting for the prefects as well as the heads. “We have to inform the new fifth years what their duties are and assign patrol times. The sixth and seventh years should know what to do by now. Everything should go smoothly hoping you don’t screw anything up.” Lily said glaring at James. His shoulders fell down even more.
“Would you mind picking up my shoulders?” James asked, “they keep dropping.”
Lily was about to apologize for assuming he was asking her out but then remembered who she was talking to. “I guess I’ll go and get the list” Lily said though it was barely audible.
“but… Shoulders?” James asked, “I need them to move my arms. Pick them up on your way out… Please?”
“Gotcha I’ll let you be in control”
Lily was obviously in shock when at the beginning of the meeting James stood up and became professional. In fact she did not say one word the entire meeting. Just stared at James. Well more of looking in his general direction because Lily Evans would never get caught staring at James Potter. “Everyone is leaving. Why is everyone leaving?”
“Evans why are you screaming.” Lily did not realize she said the last thoughts out loud.
“I’m always screaming,” Lily reminded him resentfully, “and you can thank OOTP for that. One little glance in a pensieve and I went from being the fifth marauder to some overly anal little prig; screwing to screaming in less than 250 words.”
“Sorry. Must have zoned out for a second.”
“Try the entire meeting. What was wrong with you besides your blatant lack of personality?” but before Lily could figure out what to say he had continued. “And I’ve been thinking. Since we are going to be living together this year I figure we should be on a first name basis. Hello Lily I am James. Now you turn.”
“Oh sod off” British, thought the author happily. Lily said as she got up to leave. She wanted to figure out what was wrong with her. It was probably just the lack of punctuation, but one can never be too careful. But once she thought she was out of earshot she added a soft “James” and shut the door.
“Oh look,” sighed a random prefect/extra, “ A Moment.”
“She was so not out of earshot. Woo! Yes!” yelled James as he jumped up and down. He had managed to survive a whole meeting without embarrassing himself. And when she said his name it sounded so natural. Finally when James had started to calm down he headed back to his compartment.
James: *headdesk*
Lily:*facepalm*
Sirius:*headwall*
Remus:*headexplodes*
Peter:*dies*
Her summary: Lily Evans is head girl and has to deal with the one and only James Potter. Will she be able to survive? Will he keep his cool?
My summary: Pandemonium reigns on the Hogwarts express! Lily is bitchslapped by an OC! Remus has a book! There is a distinct lack of punctuation!