he is chasing tornados and i'm waiting calmly
there is a boy who loves other boys and a girl
who loves boys too who decides to love
this boy in particular on a regular day like
when they're picking flowers in a field or
buying strawberries from a little shop on the
corner. in stories that begin like this, the boy
always loves the girl back, though not in the way
that he would love other boys (which is not to say
any less) and ends up breaking the girl's heart no
matter which way he bends and the girl's smiles
always look second hand like someone put them there
and even when the boy is happy with
another boy, and the girl has learned to be happy
for two boys, there are still awkward silences,
especially when they look at pictures of flowers
or watch a boy and a girl in a movie
eat strawberries together.
every night he goes to bed with this other boy
his heart pumping fresh blood
to his fingers, and elbows and toes
and he kisses him quietly on his forehead
and they whisper good night to each other
and blow the candle,
he whispers to himself
in the dark quiet
that he does not understand how
all the love that he feels in his body
every beautiful atom of it
can break another
so well.
so unintentionally, so
perfectly.
then he replies
as he lies
in this other boy's arms
later that night
in the quiet dark
that it is possible
and what is worse, easy
to break someone
by loving them too much.
he covers his face
with his hands.
my brother said
this is the saddest love story he knew
not only because there are a lot of
strawberries in the world. he said,
if you could watch them from a
plane, stand right above them
outside, on their lunch break,
these two boys hand in hand
and this pretty girl with the red ribbon,
you would understand
what i mean from the way
the smoke curls in the air
as they talk to each other
with the cigarettes
in their trembling hands.
it isn't really even that cold
and everyone is always shivering.