Why do they always have the same name? Huh? Ugh.
So, here's the thing. I half feel bad for him, but at the same time I don't. I know where my mind goes where it wonders. Like they say, you'll never forget your first love. It's not my fault I think of my first love when I'm with another guy, right? Gosh. It's terrible, I know it, but that doesn't mean I don't like him too. I just don't feel as strongly for him, the new one, and it's hard to let go of something that I have held on for so long.
edit later.
..and it's later. 3/20 8:00pm
I think in time I'll fall for him. I don't fall fast, but I fall hard. Hard as hell actually and it's probably better to take my time. I'm gonna see how it goes. I mean I can't wait forever for something that I'm never gonna get here at school. I know, I've tried so hard. But is it honestly fair for me to know that it'll never work and still push for it? I just need him to be happy. That's all I want for him. If I don't make him happy then I need to let him find it no matter how badly it hurts.
Now that I've been a confusing mess because I don't give names. awesome. i know. Names would still be confusing. Steve. Steve. Yes, great. You don't even have to tell me. At least I don't have to be nervous about saying the other guys name in bed. HA. YES! Lucky me. :) That was my one funny moment I could have. Thanks.
But anyway. I'm gonna just go with the flow. That's all I can do, right? Right. It's tough knowing how busy I am right now and him. Ah. yes. He mentioned meeting the parents and he would have been cool with meeting mine. Sweet eh? Yeaahh. I know. Weird. But I've technically known him since July-ish. I mean nothing 'til January really, but that makes it sound worse. It's a good thing for now and that's how I'm gonna let it be. :)
Is it right to wait for a guy.. like one who's at home while I'm at school? Like is it worth it? Or could he be doing whatever at home and it not be worth it? I don't know. This is why I can't trust guys or anyone for that matter. I freak myself out. I always seems too good to be true and in most cases it is. Ha..
Steve.. please prove me wrong.
edit later.
..and it's later. 3/20 8:00pm
I think in time I'll fall for him. I don't fall fast, but I fall hard. Hard as hell actually and it's probably better to take my time. I'm gonna see how it goes. I mean I can't wait forever for something that I'm never gonna get here at school. I know, I've tried so hard. But is it honestly fair for me to know that it'll never work and still push for it? I just need him to be happy. That's all I want for him. If I don't make him happy then I need to let him find it no matter how badly it hurts.
Now that I've been a confusing mess because I don't give names. awesome. i know. Names would still be confusing. Steve. Steve. Yes, great. You don't even have to tell me. At least I don't have to be nervous about saying the other guys name in bed. HA. YES! Lucky me. :) That was my one funny moment I could have. Thanks.
But anyway. I'm gonna just go with the flow. That's all I can do, right? Right. It's tough knowing how busy I am right now and him. Ah. yes. He mentioned meeting the parents and he would have been cool with meeting mine. Sweet eh? Yeaahh. I know. Weird. But I've technically known him since July-ish. I mean nothing 'til January really, but that makes it sound worse. It's a good thing for now and that's how I'm gonna let it be. :)
Is it right to wait for a guy.. like one who's at home while I'm at school? Like is it worth it? Or could he be doing whatever at home and it not be worth it? I don't know. This is why I can't trust guys or anyone for that matter. I freak myself out. I always seems too good to be true and in most cases it is. Ha..
Steve.. please prove me wrong.