I just dont know what to do anymore...fuck therapy!

[7hoursand15days]

So yeah...BIG blowout with my mom. She said some things, I said some things. I know I was wrong to take advantage of her letting me use the car. I dont really know what to do when people yell at me anymore. I sat there calmly and stuff...but I dunno...it was weird. I felt like yelling or just being nasty in a jabbing kind of way. It is kind of sick, but I like how I am passive aggressive when shit hits the fan. It is because I know that it really irks a lot of people and I dont really know how else to deal. I am just so like upset and confused so yeah...this is probably spread way the fuck out and doesnt make too much sense, but ohh well...it is for me to write and anyone who gives a fuck to read and not bitch about. So yeah...fuck you, fuck me, fuck fuck fuck. I am so tired and contemplating weather or not I should stay here tonight or go to Kristi's for good. I know she said she wanted me to live there, but I dunno now I get the vibe of I want you to stay here every once in a while but not so much for a few weeks or months or whatever, however long it takes me to get my own place. Spagettios taste so gross to me now...like plastic and fake I used to like them...they kind if suck now. That makes me sad. I love my mom...so much...I just dont want to live with her rules anymore because they have changed so much from before she started dating carl to now. She used to be soooooo nice to me and all of my friends but now she is just nasty to everyone. Does she ever want to see her grandchild??? question folks...she should start acting a little bit nicer to me if she flippin does want to see my baby ever!!! GoddamnitshitfuckinassholemotherfuckerstupidstupidstupidfuckingayasspeopleFUCKYOU!

I wish shit would just go back to when it was good.