Aftermath
Spoilers: Contains spoilers for 522 and possibly future episodes.
Summary: Dan and Blair try to deal with the aftermath of Blair scheming with Chuck.
Word Count: 3405
Author's Notes: This is my take on what should have happened following episode 522. I have not actually seen the episode so my take on it is an educated guess based on the bits and bobs I've read across fandom.
The story is told predominantly from Blair's point of view, but switches to Dan's point of view at the beginning and three quarters to the end of the story
Un-beta'd, all mistakes are my own.
He gazes out the window pensively; deep in thought about the events of the day. It is overwhelming, leaving him uneasy and drained. He tries to rationalize things in his head, but is left with one all consuming and paralyzing thought.
He turns his head towards the door upon hearing it's the familiar click.
She steps into the loft looking a vision in her skin tight blue dress. Her face looks exhilarating, her eyes so bright and spirited. There is at beatific smile on her face that lets him know there must have been a scheme involved.
As soon as their eyes meet, the smile on her face is wider and she begins to tell him about her day, at the same time she removes her coat and tosses it (along with her purse) on the sofa.
She walks to where he is sitting on the armchair and leans across to give him a peck on the lips, then sits on his lap and continues to regale him on the events of the day.
She stops mid sentence when she realizes he is non committal. She looks at him quizzically and asks "There is something wrong; you are not your usual yammering self, spill Humphrey."
"I think we should breakup." He blurbs out what has been on his mind all evening without any filter or forethought.
Blair jumps off his lap and bellows "Is this a joke Humphrey?"
He gets up and stands in front of her and goes to grab her hand, she flinches and pulls them out of reach.
"Explain yourself Humphrey! I demand an explanation!"
If he didn't know better he'd expect her to stamp her feet in unison.
"I followed you today."
He sees the incredulous look etched on her face that quickly becomes a sardonic look.
"I didn't follow you very far; I kind of talked myself out of it. But that's not all, I was given the opportunity to go to Rome for the summer and I turned It down…I turned it down because I was scared of leaving you alone with Chuck all summer."
"So you're breaking up with me because you don't trust me?"
"I want us to break up because I can't be that guy. I can't be the kind of guy that does not trust his girlfriend and then follows her around or the type of guy that forgoes an important opportunity to go to travel to Europe because he is insecure. It's not fair on you..."
"You know what Humphrey don't do me any more favors."
She grabs her coat and purse then makes her way to the door. As she pulls down on the lever to let herself out, she turns to look at him.
"As of today, don't call me, don't text and frankly I never want to see you again. You mean absolutely nothing to me!"
With that parting shot she exits the loft slamming the door behind her. The noise vibrates throughout the apartment.
He throws his head back in frustration trying desperately to hold back the tears. He wasn't expecting it to go this way.
On the other side of the door Blair sags against the door, she could hardly walk. She then collapses in a puddle onto the concrete floor leading to the loft.
A stream of tears cascade down her face profusely and she is desperately trying to hold back the hiccuping sobs by biting on on her lower lip. Her chest hurting so painfully that she feels like she can't breathe.
It takes a good twenty minutes for the tears to subside and for her to compose herself, though her heart still hurts. She pulls herself up and staggers down the stairs into the night.
The next day isn't any better, in fact it is worse because the events of the night before finally sink in and she has no way of erasing from her mind. Whether she likes it or not, she had to deal with the reality of him letting her go. Her chest still hurts; in fact her whole body is in pain. She pulls the duvet cover over her head, she doesn't think she can face anything today.
It is day three and she's still in bed. Serena is respecting her need for space and is not probing nor is she asking why Dan has not been around lately. Dorota is hovering, she isn't saying much, but she sees the questions in her eyes.
It's day five and she is still in bed wallowing until multiple blasts containing excerpts of her diary are sent to all and sundry, the final blast has a parting shot from Gossip Girl that says, 'Serena Van Der Woodsen, here's looking at you kid."
In her distraught she lets out a chilling scream.
Dorota and Serena come running into the room trying desperately to console her, but she is having none of it. Serena is trying to explain herself in order to smooth things over. Blair is so mad that she begins to spout things angrily without any sort of filter. She is brutal and hits were it hurts. Serena looks like her whole world has come crashing down around her. Blair doesn't care and screams get out.
The two most important relationships are over. She has never felt more like Countess Olenska.
Later that night she calls her parents and makes arrangements to set out for France early. There is nothing keeping her in New York.
She tries to give herself some pep talk, the old adage that says when life hands you lemons you make lemonade comes to mind. Not that she would do anything undignified like making lemonade; however she is just keen to get out the funk she is currently experiencing.
Avenue Montaigne no longer gives her the joy she derives from shopping there. She avoids museums, Musee D'orsay because it reminds her of Louis. Anytime she is in the general vicinity of museum, movies, books or coffee she thinks of Dan, what his thoughts would be about the particular art form and how she would counter his argument with something well thought out and witty. Dan Humphrey had invaded her everyday life.
She has only been in France less than a week when she receives a Gossip Girl blast showing Serena going in and out of the loft . The one showing her going out of the loft has Dan in it as well. He has his arms around her and is kissing her forehead.
The shameless heathens didn't even have any sense of decorum or respect.
She picks up her phone and begins without thinking twice about it, and as soon as he picks up she berates him about his lack of tact and decency.
Once she says her piece, she proceeds to hang up on him when he says: "It's not what you think." She hesitates momentarily at his words and her curiosity is peaked.
"Serena and I are not together, she came to apologize and explain the whole Gossip Girl diary blast debacle."
"And being a typical Humphrey you just fell for her damsel in distress act and couldn't wait to save her."
"Blair I can't really go through what happened on the phone, but I really think you need to speak to Serena…"
She slams the phone down on him; he doesn't deny falling for Serena's damsel in distress act.
Summer to ends too quickly for her liking. It means she will have to face them soon.
She spends the last few days bolstering herself up for the eventual return to New York and convinces herself that this year is going to be different. She was not going to think about Dan or Serena or what a royal mess everything is. She was determined to be a powerful woman.
Columbia in the fall is busy with fresh men and people keen to graduate. She keeps herself busy with her many classes.
She bumps into S a few weeks into the semester, talk about awkward. On spotting her, S quickly diverts her eyes and walks quickly the other way.
Then about an hour later she bumps into Dan and Nate.
She never thought she would be one of those girls, however on spotting Dan she bolts.
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be the brave one who walked away or dismissed him upon them seeing each other for the first time. He was supposed to be gazing at her forlorn; a rejected and broken man.
To make things worse he runs after her.
She hides in an empty classroom and prays he will give up chase.
The door to the classroom opens quietly with Humphrey standing there looking contrite.
"Blair I'm really sorry." He clasps his hands together and continues, "You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in your own school. I caused this and I'm going to fix it. You won't see me here again, so...you don't have to worry about some jerk from Brooklyn making you uncomfortable."
With that he exits the classroom and shuts the door behind him.
He keeps his promise.
It doesn't take long before she begins to miss him badly, being in the same city does that to you. It begins to feel like a bad case of pining.
This is not the first time she's missed him, it's just that she has been able to squash or control those feelings so far. Right now she is doing a bad job at controlling it.
In France it was easy, but being back in New York is a lot worse. She and Dan have shared a lot of experiences in New York that that she feels his presence everywhere; it is becoming depressing. It's almost like having a ghost following you everywhere.
She's never hated him more. In fact she hates him with a passion.
She hates him for making her miss him; she hates him for making her have these feelings; she loathes him for fooling her that he was the kind of guy that she needed, a guy she could trust, her center and she hated him for promising her that she would always have him.
She wants to hurt him.
She gets Dorota to run her a bath and while soaking in the tub yells at Dorota to lay out her strapless multi pleated Gucci dress, skin tone La Perlas and black Lady Peep Louboutin.
She makes her triumphant entry into the Empire ensuring that Dorota is there to take a picture to send to Gossip Girl.
As she exits the lift, she spots Chuck at the bar with a glass of scotch in his hands. He looks at her up and down with a leer, a game face smirk appears on his face; she loves how he knows her so well.
Sashaying towards him with determination, she flicks her hair slowly for good measure and exposes her neck. He licks his lips, she can see him vibrating in anticipation.
When she gets to the bar, she grabs his lapels and intends to kiss him, but she feels herself hesitating.
He smells all wrong.
His breath smells like scotch instead of coffee, his aftershave is over powering and the lapels of his coat are smooth beneath her fingers instead of the rough feel of cheap plaid.
She backs away a, "I can't go through with this or I can't do this", and high tails it out of there. She runs into the lift and presses the buttons incessantly to get out of there. She can hear him yelling her name and sees him walking towards the lift, before he can get to her the lift door closes.
She practically runs out of the Empire upon exiting the lift.
She jumps into the first cab she sees without casting a glance to check if it belongs to someone else and bellows at the driver to get her out of here.
Throwing back her head, she shuts her eyes and groans in mortification.
The driver asks if she is ok. She responds by waving her hand at him in dismissal and tells him to just drive.
He responds by telling her that she hasn't given him a destination. She tells him that she doesn't care and he should just keep driving until she tells him to stop.
Thirty minutes later, she gets tired of circling around New York and gives him her destination. When she arrives at her destination, she pays her fare and leaves the driver with a generous tip.
Once she gets in doors, she places her purse on the table and makes her way to the bedroom where she undresses and changes into something more comfortable then gets into bed.
He could always sense her presence; he mutters her name in his sleep and puts his arms around her. She places her hands over his and falls into deep sleep.
The cacophony that is Brooklyn lulls her away from her slumber.
Without turning to look at him, she knows he is awake. She can feel his eyes on her.
She pretends to be asleep so that they can remain like this in each others arms for a minute longer, but her aching heart reminds her of everything that has happened. She jumps out of bed and begins to gather her clothes.
"Blair…please don't go."
"Can we talk, please?"
She turns to yell Give me one good reason why I should stay, but on catching his eyes she falters. His earnest puppy dog eyes have always been her kryptonite.
She sits on the chair by his desk wanting to put some distance between them.
"I'm sorry…about…about everything."
"I'm not sure I want your pathetic apologies Humphrey, actually I'm not sure I want anything from you." She gets up from the chair and begins to change back into her clothes. Once dresses, she grabs her shoes and makes her way to the living room.
He follows her.
"I don't get it! If you don't want anything from me then why are you here Blair?"
She purses her lips angrily and then turns to look at him.
"I nearly slept with Chuck last night."
Dan's looks taken aback, then the expression on his face changes to sadness.
He runs his hands through his hair, his hands end up on his neck and he leaves it there.
She can't help feeling bad that she put that look on his face.
"Are you satisfied now? Everything you ever feared or thought of me is true!"
"Blair…"
"Let me finish" her eyes were burning with anger now. I went to the Empire last night with the every intention of sleeping with Chuck because I wanted to hit you were it hurts, so that you could feel as miserable as I feel. The sad thing was that I couldn't even go through with it. I bolted before we could do anything. It didn't feel right…he wasn't the right person."
"I hate you Humphrey, I hate you with every fiber of my being. I hate you for making me feel like this, like...like I can never get over you. I hate you because you broke up with me when I didn't even do anything wrong; all I ever did was wanted to be with you. I took a chance with you because I thought you were the one person who wouldn't hurt me, but you did in the cruelest way. So excuse me if I really don't give a rat's ass about your pathetic apologies.
With that, she walks out of the apartment slamming the door behind her.
Dan stands there frozen and full of regrets. He wishes he could turn back time and them breaking up never happened.
He doesn't really process what he does next. All he can think about is the fact that she came here instead of being with Chuck, so he jumps into the shower, gets dressed and follows her.
On getting to the penthouse Dorota tells him that Miss Blair is very upset and shows him the door.
He manages to convince Dorota of his good intentions and she lets him go upstairs with the proviso that if it goes kaput she is coming after him.
Blair is sitting on her bed gazing at nothing in particular and is only aware of his presence when he says hey.
"What are you doing here Humphrey?" Her voice sounded shrill and kinda hoarse.
He knows he should be scared right now, he throws caution to the wind moves tentatively towards her and sits on the bed even though he's terrified of how she will react.
"I know you don't want to hear it…but for what it's worth, I really missed you and being apart from you really sucks and hurts."
"Well that's too bad for you Humphrey."
"I…I" he bites him bottom lip and continues "I'm so sorry that I caused you so much pain…I don't want to be the person who hurts you. I didn't really want to break up, I just freaked out really badly and went the cowardly way about things."
He continues, "I thought I could deal with your past, but it's obvious I couldn't. When I got your text telling me not to wait up I believed you until I saw you in a car with Chuck. I kind of lost it after that and decided to checkout before I got really hurt."
"Then why are you here Mr. Checkout early?"
"I love you."
She is shocked. She has imagined this moment so much in her mind but not like this.
"And I found out that this kind of thing does not go away no matter how much you wish it away. Waking up to see you in my arms this morning made me realize how much I miss you…I miss us."
She completely falters. His admission of love and missing her makes her melt inside, but she chooses not to be weak nor do something she regrets.
With her face resolute she says, "I think you should go Dan."
It takes a few days for her to recover from what happened, but her heart is still a torn up mess. She needs closure.
She heads to Brooklyn.
Instead of getting closure, she brokers a new beginning. She knows she can't demand he trust her even though she demands this from him.
They hash things out and lay everything on the table. His insecurities, her insecurities and anything in between. She'd be lying to herself if she thought everything was resolved. They promise to discuss things with each other before making rash decisions like breaking up.
They seal their broker with a kiss and plenty more kisses.
She knows that this is where she wants to be, with him in spite of everything that happened.
As the days goes by she is in a good place which makes it easy to seek out Serena and make amends.
It is spring break; she and Dan have plans to go and see some exhibits at MoMa. Dan is on her bed flicking through the New Yorker and excitedly telling her about some art noveau artist he is dying to see while she is busy getting ready for their outing. She pauses from what she is doing to look at him and she can't help thinking he looks adorable lying at home on her bed. She walks over and gives him a peck on the lips.
He grins at her and says, "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for."
She smiles and says, "I love you."
Dan looks dumb founded. She doesn't have time to process things because Dan gets up from the bed, pulls her into his arms and kisses her like his life depended on it.
They pause in between kisses and he looks lat her like she is the most incredible thing he has ever seen. She is going to store this moment in her heart for ever.
"You're not going to make me say it again, are you?" she teases.
"Say it again."
"I love you Dan Humphrey."
The End