Forgive - Forgiven (7/7) - Mac Taylor/Michelle Dessler (CSI:NY/24)
Title: Forgiven (7/7)
Author/Artist:
failegaidin
Claim: Mac Taylor/Michelle Dessler (CSI:NY/24)
Theme: Forgive
Theme Set: Romance
Rating: FRT
Warnings: Spoilers for S5 of 24, but that's about it.
Disclaimer: Neither 24 nor CSI:NY belong to me. They belong to other people, whose names I don't know off the top of my head, but who generally upset me with their storylines.
A/N: This story is in seven parts. I used each prompt for a chapter.
"Knock, knock."
Mac looked up from his paperwork to see Stella standing in front of his desk. Internally sighing, he gave her a strained smile that he hoped convinced her.
"Hey."
"Don't even try it," she stated firmly. "I know you're not okay."
"I'm f -"
"Don't."
Mac sighed again, this time out loud, and tossed his pen onto the file in front of him. "You're right. I'm not okay."
Stella nodded. "C'mon. Let's go."
"Where?"
She walked around his desk and grabbed his suit jacket. "To dinner. It's been a long day for both of us, and you're not sitting here all night for the fifth straight night. We're going to eat, we're going to drink, and you're going to talk to me. And then, you're going home," she said pointedly.
"I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?"
Stella shook her head. "No."
Rolling his eyes, Mac stood up and took his jacket from her. As he followed her out, he let himself have a small smile - he wasn't sure where he would be if he didn't have Stella looking out for him.
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"Have you heard from her?" Stella asked as they ate.
Mac shook his head. "Not a word. Her phone is off, and she hasn't answered any of the voicemails I left for her. I found out that she put in for vacation."
"How long?"
"For an indeterminate amount of time. She stated it was a family emergency and she'd be back as soon as it was dealt with."
"What do you think it was?"
His eyes met hers, and she was cut to the quick by the pain she saw in them. "It's obvious, isn't it Stella? I kissed her, and she left."
Stella reached out and took his hand. "It has to be hard for her, Mac. Remember how you were after Claire? You were a wreck the first time you admitted you were attracted to another woman. Michelle hasn't been with anyone since Tony. And you two became so close..."
"I miss her," he said quietly.
"I know."
"And I need to know that she's okay," he continued. "I understand if she needs space, I just...I wish she would let me know that she's okay."
Stella thought for a moment. "I think I know where she went."
Mac looked up. "L.A.?"
She nodded. "She needs to forgive herself, Mac. She let another man into her life and into her heart. You have to give her time."
They were silent for a few minutes, both focusing on their food as varying thoughts ran through their heads. When Mac finally spoke again, his voice was almost a whisper.
"I think I'm in love with her."
Stella smirked, taking a drink. "That's funny. Because I know you are."
Mac chuckled at that. "That's good, Stell. Because I happen to know that you're in love with a certain detective."
She blushed, ducking her head. "Your point?"
He squeezed her hand. "You're happy." It wasn't a question.
"More than I ever thought I could be," she answered sincerely.
"Have you told him that?"
"I do know how to use the 'L' word, Mac."
"Oh really?"
Her smile broadened. "Last night. We said it for the first time last night."
Mac's grin matched her own. "That's good, Stella."
She rolled her eyes. "Come on. Let's get you home. I'm sure your bed misses you." As Mac moved to slip his jacket on, Stella reached out and grabbed his hand again. "She'll come back."
He didn't meet her eyes. "You don't know that."
Leaning over the table, she moved her hand to his cheek. "She'll come back to you, Mac," she whispered. "Trust me."
"How -"
"Because she loves you, too."
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Michelle had forgotten how warm the sun could be in California. It heated her skin, and just for a moment, she wished that she hadn't left. Opening her eyes, however, she realized that leaving had been her only choice.
She stood there for a long time, staring at Tony's grave. There were fresh flowers, but otherwise it looked the same as the day she had last seen it. A light breeze blew through, ruffling the petals and her hair, and she swallowed hard.
"I miss you," she said quietly. "But not as much as I think I should. It still hurts whenever I think of you, Tony, and...I wish that you were here with me." She paused, tears filling her eyes. "But I don't think about you as much as I used to...and I'm sorry for that. I started a new life, and I made new friends...I met someone. I didn't meant to. I wasn't even looking. He just showed up and now...I want to be with him, Tony. He makes me happy...he makes me feel safe. I think I might be in love with him." Michelle stopped again, the tears flowing freely down her face. There were no sobs though, and she realized that this admission didn't hurt nearly as much as she had anticipated.
"I think you'd like him," she continued. "Well, I think you'd probably argue a lot with him about procedure and rules. But he's a good man - one of the best I've ever known. I just...I hope I haven't hurt him too much. I didn't exactly tell him I was coming out here."
"I think he'll forgive you."
The voice startled her, and Michelle jumped. Turning around, though, a smile came over her as she watched Bill Buchanan striding towards her.
"You snuck up on me," she accused him gently.
He shrugged. "I've watched you come out here every day this week, Michelle," he said, moving to stand next to her. "I thought it was about time I said hello."
She reached up and hugged him then, letting herself relax into his embrace. They stood like that for a long time, two old friends comforting each other. When they finally pulled back, they turned to face Tony's grave again, Michelle leaning her head on his shoulder.
"It's good to see you, Michelle."
"I'm sorry I haven't called much."
Bill shrugged. "I know you needed space, needed to distance yourself from everything that reminded you of him."
Michelle frowned. "You said you've watched me come out here?"
He nodded. "I have friends in New York. They told me that a former agent of mine had gotten on a plane suddenly and flown out to Los Angeles. I knew you were coming to see Tony."
"Have you been keeping tabs on me?"
He shrugged guiltily. "I just needed to make sure you were doing okay."
Michelle looked down at the ground. "What else do you know?" she finally asked.
"I've heard about you and Detective Mac Taylor." He saw her close her eyes, and he turned to her, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "And there is nothing wrong that, Michelle."
She looked up at him, her eyes pained. "Am I betraying him?"
"No," he said firmly. "Not at all. Tony would never want you to be alone and miserable, Michelle. You know that. It's time for you to let go. To forgive yourself for falling in love with someone else."
She glanced over at the headstone again before looking back up at Bill. "It's not like I can hurt him, right?"
Bill smiled, wiping the last tear from her eye. "Right. Nothing can hurt him now, Michelle. And it's time for you to start your life again." He kissed her gently on the forehead. "Besides, Mac Taylor is good people. One of the best, in fact."
Michelle frowned. "Do you know him?"
"Our paths have crossed a time or two. There's no one I'd trust more with your heart, Michelle."
"And you don't think I'm too late?" she asked.
He pulled a plane ticket out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. "Not if you get going."
She took the ticket, looking up at him in disbelief. "How did you know I would be ready?"
"Like I said, I've watched you come out here. And every day, you stood just a little bit taller, and you cried just a little bit less. All that's left is for you to say goodbye and I'll drive you to the airport myself."
Michelle stared off into the distance for a moment. "I'll meet you in the car," she said finally.
Bill nodded and walked away. When he was gone, she turned back to the headstone, squatting in front of it and tracing her husband's name. "Goodbye," she whispered.
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Mac shook his head as he once again tried to focus on the paperwork in front of him. It was pointless red tape, but he had to get it finished by the end of the week, and he was hoping to get a head start on it. But just as he picked up his pen, his phone beeped, telling him that he had a message. Frowning, he unclipped it from his belt and read the text.
Logan Airport, Flight 919, Gate 23, 3:38 pm. -Michelle
Grabbing his jacket, Mac strode out of the office, a nervous grin plastered on his face.
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He paced back and forth as he waited for her plane to get in, his hands stuffed into his pockets to keep them from shaking. Hope had flared in his chest as soon as he got her text message, but the longer he waited, the tighter the knot in the pit of his stomach got. Just because she was coming back didn't mean that she was coming back to him. Maybe she was only letting him pick her up so that she could let him down gently. Shaking his head, he silently cursed himself - those kinds of thoughts weren't going to do him any kind of good.
Looking up, he saw that people were coming off of the plane. His eyes scanned the crowd, desperately seeking her out. When he finally saw her, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Her eyes found him almost immediately, and a radiant smile bloomed on her face. Mac thought that he was finally seeing her as she used to be - a strong and confident woman who enjoyed life and those around her. Michelle kept her eyes locked on him as she put her carry-on through the machine and the guard ran the wand over her. Then she picked her bag back up and walked over to him.
"Hey," she said quietly.
"Hi."
She dropped the bag and wrapped her arms around him. Mac immediately hugged her back, closing his eyes and breathing her in as he pulled her tight against his body. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, thanking God that she had come back, and that she was alright.
"I'm so sorry," she murmured into his ear. "I...I needed to say goodbye before I could deal with this."
Mac pulled back slightly, searching her eyes. "And did you?"
Her smile widened. "Yes."
Then she leaned in and kissed him softly. Mac closed his eyes, the nervous feeling falling away as he kissed her back. He kept one hand on her waist, while the other came up to tangle in her hair, and he tilted his head, nipping at her bottom lip and then sliding his tongue in. Michelle moaned at the feeling, pulling their bodies even closer as the rest of the world fell away. Mac was almost dizzy with the taste of her when they finally pulled back, and he rested his forehead against hers.
"Take me home," Michelle whispered.
Mac smiled. "I would love to."
Author/Artist:
failegaidin
Claim: Mac Taylor/Michelle Dessler (CSI:NY/24)
Theme: Forgive
Theme Set: Romance
Rating: FRT
Warnings: Spoilers for S5 of 24, but that's about it.
Disclaimer: Neither 24 nor CSI:NY belong to me. They belong to other people, whose names I don't know off the top of my head, but who generally upset me with their storylines.
A/N: This story is in seven parts. I used each prompt for a chapter.
"Knock, knock."
Mac looked up from his paperwork to see Stella standing in front of his desk. Internally sighing, he gave her a strained smile that he hoped convinced her.
"Hey."
"Don't even try it," she stated firmly. "I know you're not okay."
"I'm f -"
"Don't."
Mac sighed again, this time out loud, and tossed his pen onto the file in front of him. "You're right. I'm not okay."
Stella nodded. "C'mon. Let's go."
"Where?"
She walked around his desk and grabbed his suit jacket. "To dinner. It's been a long day for both of us, and you're not sitting here all night for the fifth straight night. We're going to eat, we're going to drink, and you're going to talk to me. And then, you're going home," she said pointedly.
"I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?"
Stella shook her head. "No."
Rolling his eyes, Mac stood up and took his jacket from her. As he followed her out, he let himself have a small smile - he wasn't sure where he would be if he didn't have Stella looking out for him.
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"Have you heard from her?" Stella asked as they ate.
Mac shook his head. "Not a word. Her phone is off, and she hasn't answered any of the voicemails I left for her. I found out that she put in for vacation."
"How long?"
"For an indeterminate amount of time. She stated it was a family emergency and she'd be back as soon as it was dealt with."
"What do you think it was?"
His eyes met hers, and she was cut to the quick by the pain she saw in them. "It's obvious, isn't it Stella? I kissed her, and she left."
Stella reached out and took his hand. "It has to be hard for her, Mac. Remember how you were after Claire? You were a wreck the first time you admitted you were attracted to another woman. Michelle hasn't been with anyone since Tony. And you two became so close..."
"I miss her," he said quietly.
"I know."
"And I need to know that she's okay," he continued. "I understand if she needs space, I just...I wish she would let me know that she's okay."
Stella thought for a moment. "I think I know where she went."
Mac looked up. "L.A.?"
She nodded. "She needs to forgive herself, Mac. She let another man into her life and into her heart. You have to give her time."
They were silent for a few minutes, both focusing on their food as varying thoughts ran through their heads. When Mac finally spoke again, his voice was almost a whisper.
"I think I'm in love with her."
Stella smirked, taking a drink. "That's funny. Because I know you are."
Mac chuckled at that. "That's good, Stell. Because I happen to know that you're in love with a certain detective."
She blushed, ducking her head. "Your point?"
He squeezed her hand. "You're happy." It wasn't a question.
"More than I ever thought I could be," she answered sincerely.
"Have you told him that?"
"I do know how to use the 'L' word, Mac."
"Oh really?"
Her smile broadened. "Last night. We said it for the first time last night."
Mac's grin matched her own. "That's good, Stella."
She rolled her eyes. "Come on. Let's get you home. I'm sure your bed misses you." As Mac moved to slip his jacket on, Stella reached out and grabbed his hand again. "She'll come back."
He didn't meet her eyes. "You don't know that."
Leaning over the table, she moved her hand to his cheek. "She'll come back to you, Mac," she whispered. "Trust me."
"How -"
"Because she loves you, too."
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Michelle had forgotten how warm the sun could be in California. It heated her skin, and just for a moment, she wished that she hadn't left. Opening her eyes, however, she realized that leaving had been her only choice.
She stood there for a long time, staring at Tony's grave. There were fresh flowers, but otherwise it looked the same as the day she had last seen it. A light breeze blew through, ruffling the petals and her hair, and she swallowed hard.
"I miss you," she said quietly. "But not as much as I think I should. It still hurts whenever I think of you, Tony, and...I wish that you were here with me." She paused, tears filling her eyes. "But I don't think about you as much as I used to...and I'm sorry for that. I started a new life, and I made new friends...I met someone. I didn't meant to. I wasn't even looking. He just showed up and now...I want to be with him, Tony. He makes me happy...he makes me feel safe. I think I might be in love with him." Michelle stopped again, the tears flowing freely down her face. There were no sobs though, and she realized that this admission didn't hurt nearly as much as she had anticipated.
"I think you'd like him," she continued. "Well, I think you'd probably argue a lot with him about procedure and rules. But he's a good man - one of the best I've ever known. I just...I hope I haven't hurt him too much. I didn't exactly tell him I was coming out here."
"I think he'll forgive you."
The voice startled her, and Michelle jumped. Turning around, though, a smile came over her as she watched Bill Buchanan striding towards her.
"You snuck up on me," she accused him gently.
He shrugged. "I've watched you come out here every day this week, Michelle," he said, moving to stand next to her. "I thought it was about time I said hello."
She reached up and hugged him then, letting herself relax into his embrace. They stood like that for a long time, two old friends comforting each other. When they finally pulled back, they turned to face Tony's grave again, Michelle leaning her head on his shoulder.
"It's good to see you, Michelle."
"I'm sorry I haven't called much."
Bill shrugged. "I know you needed space, needed to distance yourself from everything that reminded you of him."
Michelle frowned. "You said you've watched me come out here?"
He nodded. "I have friends in New York. They told me that a former agent of mine had gotten on a plane suddenly and flown out to Los Angeles. I knew you were coming to see Tony."
"Have you been keeping tabs on me?"
He shrugged guiltily. "I just needed to make sure you were doing okay."
Michelle looked down at the ground. "What else do you know?" she finally asked.
"I've heard about you and Detective Mac Taylor." He saw her close her eyes, and he turned to her, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "And there is nothing wrong that, Michelle."
She looked up at him, her eyes pained. "Am I betraying him?"
"No," he said firmly. "Not at all. Tony would never want you to be alone and miserable, Michelle. You know that. It's time for you to let go. To forgive yourself for falling in love with someone else."
She glanced over at the headstone again before looking back up at Bill. "It's not like I can hurt him, right?"
Bill smiled, wiping the last tear from her eye. "Right. Nothing can hurt him now, Michelle. And it's time for you to start your life again." He kissed her gently on the forehead. "Besides, Mac Taylor is good people. One of the best, in fact."
Michelle frowned. "Do you know him?"
"Our paths have crossed a time or two. There's no one I'd trust more with your heart, Michelle."
"And you don't think I'm too late?" she asked.
He pulled a plane ticket out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. "Not if you get going."
She took the ticket, looking up at him in disbelief. "How did you know I would be ready?"
"Like I said, I've watched you come out here. And every day, you stood just a little bit taller, and you cried just a little bit less. All that's left is for you to say goodbye and I'll drive you to the airport myself."
Michelle stared off into the distance for a moment. "I'll meet you in the car," she said finally.
Bill nodded and walked away. When he was gone, she turned back to the headstone, squatting in front of it and tracing her husband's name. "Goodbye," she whispered.
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Mac shook his head as he once again tried to focus on the paperwork in front of him. It was pointless red tape, but he had to get it finished by the end of the week, and he was hoping to get a head start on it. But just as he picked up his pen, his phone beeped, telling him that he had a message. Frowning, he unclipped it from his belt and read the text.
Logan Airport, Flight 919, Gate 23, 3:38 pm. -Michelle
Grabbing his jacket, Mac strode out of the office, a nervous grin plastered on his face.
888888888888888888888888888
He paced back and forth as he waited for her plane to get in, his hands stuffed into his pockets to keep them from shaking. Hope had flared in his chest as soon as he got her text message, but the longer he waited, the tighter the knot in the pit of his stomach got. Just because she was coming back didn't mean that she was coming back to him. Maybe she was only letting him pick her up so that she could let him down gently. Shaking his head, he silently cursed himself - those kinds of thoughts weren't going to do him any kind of good.
Looking up, he saw that people were coming off of the plane. His eyes scanned the crowd, desperately seeking her out. When he finally saw her, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Her eyes found him almost immediately, and a radiant smile bloomed on her face. Mac thought that he was finally seeing her as she used to be - a strong and confident woman who enjoyed life and those around her. Michelle kept her eyes locked on him as she put her carry-on through the machine and the guard ran the wand over her. Then she picked her bag back up and walked over to him.
"Hey," she said quietly.
"Hi."
She dropped the bag and wrapped her arms around him. Mac immediately hugged her back, closing his eyes and breathing her in as he pulled her tight against his body. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, thanking God that she had come back, and that she was alright.
"I'm so sorry," she murmured into his ear. "I...I needed to say goodbye before I could deal with this."
Mac pulled back slightly, searching her eyes. "And did you?"
Her smile widened. "Yes."
Then she leaned in and kissed him softly. Mac closed his eyes, the nervous feeling falling away as he kissed her back. He kept one hand on her waist, while the other came up to tangle in her hair, and he tilted his head, nipping at her bottom lip and then sliding his tongue in. Michelle moaned at the feeling, pulling their bodies even closer as the rest of the world fell away. Mac was almost dizzy with the taste of her when they finally pulled back, and he rested his forehead against hers.
"Take me home," Michelle whispered.
Mac smiled. "I would love to."