Whispers and Promises I
Title: Whispers and Promises I
Author: 79_percent
Rating: PG-13
Form: Chaptered
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: JaeHo
Genre: Drama, Fluff, Angst
Whispers and Promises
I. Maybe...
He looked around him, tentatively feeling the wetness touching his bare soles. Everything around him was black. It was dark, and yet there was some kind of an unexplainable light that guided him towards wherever his feet were taking him to. It was as if they had a mind of their own leading him to somewhere he did not know, a will that forced him to face up to reality.
He stood in the middle of nowhere. He was lost, alone and forgotten. He did not know what to do but a pair of invisible hands seemed to prevent him from running away even if the only instinct he recalled was to bolt. Out and away, back into his comfort zone.
Where was he anyway?
He heard someone call his name. The voice was soft, and yet there was that alluring pull that made him turn his head around. There, walking oh-so-gracefully on the wet surface was someone he had known all too well. A person so dear to his heart, a person that he knew he could not live without.
The brown-haired figure was walking towards him in slow steps, gliding with such perfect elegance almost effortlessly across the wide, onyx-like plane. When his friend got too close, he began to panic, for an unexplainable reason that swept his whole being. He stuttered, searching for the correct words in his mind but found that his voice caught at the base of his throat. He watched the other stop only a few steps in front of him and stared back with those chestnut brown eyes; a glint of accusation flashed within those dark, melanin irises.
“I hate people who can’t believe in the person they had chosen to love.”
He heard his companion say. The voice was faint, yet firm, and uncharacteristically evil, like the words was deliberately dipped in a cauldron of hatred and thrown back flat at his face. Both the underlying implication of those words and the disappointed smile given to him - they sent numerous daggers of guilt in his heart.
He had wanted himself to refute the accusation, to defend himself, to do something, to say something. Anything. Anything that would help him ease the uneasiness tugging at the back of his heart.
“And you’re expecting me to believe in you after what you did?”
That was not what he was planning to say, he screamed to his subconscious mind. That was not what he really feel deep inside. Yet those were the exact words that rolled out of his lips. He was perfectly reiterating the one most detested scene in his life that he would love not to remember.
Silence enveloped the two figures in its arms, building up tension in the air as neither of them said a word. There was a sigh. A very soft sigh, followed by an embittered expression.
“Let’s take a break, YunHo.”
There was a hint of finality in that voice that prevented him from fighting back. There was something in those eyes that made his heart sink, but he was too stubborn to let his psyche notice.
“Fine.” He grunted involuntarily, unable to stop his voice from escaping.
His eyes were momentarily blinded by the sudden burst of white light that enveloped his whole surrounding. The pale, ashen glow was warm to its tips, and yet it left him bereft, it left him cold and empty inside. When the brightness slowly blurred to reveal the original walls of bare black, he was no longer staring at those deep brown eyes he had grown to adore. Instead he saw himself and his love, both turning on their heels as an aftermath of their argument.
As he watched them walk in the opposite direction, as he witnessed both beings moved further away from each other, he felt his pride sink. When he saw, and remembered, that none looked over their shoulder for any chance of remedy, he heard his heart break.
“Hyung..”
He twitched.
“Hyung! YunHo-hyung! Wake up, we’re here already!”
He opened his lids, squinting when the dazzling sun entered his vision, reminding him of the earlier blinding light that broke his reverie. He let his eyes adjust to the bright surrounding and for a moment, all he could see was a sea of white. When it cleared, he was presented with a concerned face topped with platinum-blonde hair.
“Are you okay?”
YunHo shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, rubbing his temples that had throbbed all of a sudden with his fingertips.
If what he had seen just a few moments earlier was just a dream, then that had got to be the most vivid dream he ever had. It was way too vivid, too real to only be a forgotten fragment of reality that his subconscious mind refused to accept.
“Yeah.. I’m cool.” He managed to mutter, picking up his duffel bag and followed the lead down the bus.
“You sure?”
He turned to give his other friend a small smile over his shoulder.
“It’s just the heat, YooChun.”
“That’s good to hear,” YooChun cracked, returning the smile with a grin as he slung an arm over the other’s shoulders. “We’re here to play. To enjoy! It wouldn’t be as fun if you aren’t feeling good.”
YunHo laughed.
“Speaking of which,” he started as he hopped down the yellow bus, raising a hand to cover his eyes from the glare of the sun. Almost immediately, he felt the drastic contrast of the humid heat of the atmosphere once he was released from the cool air-conditioning of the vehicle.
“Where are we?”
YooChun shrugged, adjusting his cap as he let his eyes roam his surrounding.
“JunSu planned this whole trip and I didn’t bother to ask him about it. I slept through the journey so I wasn’t paying attention either.”
YunHo ran one hand through his black mane in a habitual gesture. A couple of metres in front of them, he caught a very familiar back view of the last two of his companion amongst the bare surrounding of the parking lot.
“ChangMin looks like he knows though…”
“Maybe JunSu told him,” YooChun replied, gesturing for his taller friend to follow the other two down the pavement. “But don’t you find this place familiar?”
“Now that you mentioned it…” YunHo trailed off, hurrying down the lane to catch up with the rest of his group.
There was something in the sweet-smelling wind and the hot, humid air that touched YunHo. There was something in the clear, almost cloudless blue sky that made him think back of the people he left back in Seoul. There was something in the whole familiarity of it all that nagged at his mind. It was as if he had been there before.
“It is, isn’t it?”
YunHo nodded, tearing his gaze away from the sky to give YooChun an affirmative gesture.
“Yah, yah, JunSu-yah, where are you taking us to?” YooChun grabbed the blonde by his shoulder, forcing the hyper bundle of energy to release his hold from ChangMin’s shoulder. “I thought you said we’re going somewhere with a beach plus free food and lodging?”
“We’re almost there!” JunSu chirped, maintaining his sunshine-like smile on his fair face. “The house is just down there near the beach.”
“Th-the house?”
YooChun exchanged looks with YunHo who only shrugged, before they both followed JunSu to the end of the road and made their exit. Once they made a turn and the parking lot was way behind, the vast, sapphire-like sea greeted their senses. The clear sound of the waves in a repetitive backwash combined with the sound of random people doing their random activities on the off-white span of sand made pleasant-sounding harmony that was distinctly summer.
They walked for a short distance before JunSu turned around, beaming proudly as he pointed to the rows of houses behind him.
“We’re staying here for the rest of summer! Isn’t this great?”
YunHo could not help but muster a surprised blink when something knocked hard at his memory at the sight of those familiar rows of over-water bungalows. From his peripheral vision, he caught YooChun leaping forward to put his fists on both sides of JunSu’s head and squeezed hard.
“Kim JunSu!” YooChun hollered, almost in rage. “You portrayed such a majestic illusion for us to drown in with the hope of spending summer in somewhere exotic and this is where you bring us to?”
“Ahh!!” JunSu protested loudly, trying to get out of the hold he was put in.
“You should have told us earlier that you’re taking us to your family’s resort!”
“YunHo-hyung! ChangMinnie, help!!”
“You horrible demon-child!”
YunHo laughed at the scene displayed in front of him at JunSu’s expense. It was only when he noticed how red the blonde had became from his futile attempts escaping that he lightly commanded YooChun to release the poor boy.
“You’re so mean.” JunSu sniffed, faking a soft sniffle as he turned to ChangMin who patted his head, smiling in amusement at the antics from the older, yet more child-like blonde.
“We’re low on budget but we want to spend a good summer holiday,” he tried to put his argument across even as he was still holding on to ChangMin’s shirt from his earlier crying act. “This is the best place I could think of since lodging and food is free.”
YooChun raised a sceptic eyebrow at the blonde and JunSu fidgeted nervously.
“Besides I was called to help out this summer and since I want to spend my holiday with you guys I thought…” The squirming blonde added in a soft, meek voice, shifting his eyes down to the ground as he pursed his lower lip out in a mock pout.
The boy with light brown hair rolled his eyes.
“I should have known that there’s something very wrong with such good bargain.” YooChun scoffed. “Free food and lodging? Heh.”
“We only need to help out at the stalls to pay for it.” JunSu was quick to add, earning another glare from the already miffed sophomore.
“This should be the last time we let JunSu plan our holiday,” YunHo chipped in, stifling his laughter at JunSu’s sulking expression.
“Agreed.” YooChun nodded vigorously, eyeing their “home” for this summer balefully. It was not that he hated the place, it was not even the fact that he had to help at the stalls; it was the fact that his hope for an exotic island with exotic beauties was dashed that made him brood. He was not hoping for something really grand like Bora Bora, but he was anticipating something more unusual that just this, something better than just being stuck at the same nameless island in the same secluded corner of South Korea that he had visited for the past three summers. He turned to give JunSu a sour look.
“This is the last time we’re letting you plan our holidays!”
JunSu let his pout deepened as he shifted his eyes from YooChun to YunHo and then back to YooChun, before planting his gaze on the ground, a hint of guilt scribbled on his face. What was wrong with him wanting to spend the summer with them? It was not that they had other plans anyway. Besides, they would have free food and shelter, what could be more economical than this?
“I like it.”
JunSu looked up to see ChangMin looking at the rows of houses before turning to give him an innocent expression.
“I like this,” he repeated with that same angelic smile he always had.
“Aww, ChangMin, I love you!” The blonde gave the younger boy a huge bear hug, shedding his crestfallen façade and immediately returned to his gregarious disposition before making his way across the sandy beach towards the houses. He grabbed YooChun and ChangMin’s hands, the two being closer to him, and dragged both of them forward, earning a grunted yelp from YooChun.
“YunHo-hyung,” he called cheerfully when he saw the oldest of the quartet stayed rooted to his position sporting a faraway look on his face. “Come on! Don’t just stand there!”
Once again, YunHo was broken from his slight reverie at JunSu’s voice. For a moment there, his thought had boarded a train departing for Seoul and was wrenched back roughly with that one call. He shook his head, clearing the maelstrom of random things floating in his mind.
He was there to have fun, was he not? He was there to enjoy himself. He was there to play. He was not there to think of their fight, he was not there to whine about their argument. He had hurt enough; he needed to stop.
“Let’s take a break, YunHo.”
The voice from his bitter memory haunted both his conscious and subconscious. He did not fight back when the request was put across. He did not want their relationship to end, but he did not know what was holding him back either.
Maybe he really wanted it. Maybe he really needed this intermission in their relationship. Maybe he was hoping he would find something here. Here, with his closest friends. Something that he was not even sure existed, but he was hoping for something. Something to mend his bruised ego, something to heal his hurt heart. He did not know what was it that he was searching for, but he was there to find something.
“YunHo!”
“Coming!” YunHo shouted his reply, adjusting the duffel bag slung over his shoulder as he shut the door to his troubled mind and took off towards where his friends were.
It would not be that bad.. right?
“Let’s take a break, YunHo.”
Maybe, just maybe, a break would do them good.
"Whispers and Promises"
Part I
-end-
Author: 79_percent
Rating: PG-13
Form: Chaptered
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: JaeHo
Genre: Drama, Fluff, Angst
Whispers and Promises
I. Maybe...
He looked around him, tentatively feeling the wetness touching his bare soles. Everything around him was black. It was dark, and yet there was some kind of an unexplainable light that guided him towards wherever his feet were taking him to. It was as if they had a mind of their own leading him to somewhere he did not know, a will that forced him to face up to reality.
He stood in the middle of nowhere. He was lost, alone and forgotten. He did not know what to do but a pair of invisible hands seemed to prevent him from running away even if the only instinct he recalled was to bolt. Out and away, back into his comfort zone.
Where was he anyway?
He heard someone call his name. The voice was soft, and yet there was that alluring pull that made him turn his head around. There, walking oh-so-gracefully on the wet surface was someone he had known all too well. A person so dear to his heart, a person that he knew he could not live without.
The brown-haired figure was walking towards him in slow steps, gliding with such perfect elegance almost effortlessly across the wide, onyx-like plane. When his friend got too close, he began to panic, for an unexplainable reason that swept his whole being. He stuttered, searching for the correct words in his mind but found that his voice caught at the base of his throat. He watched the other stop only a few steps in front of him and stared back with those chestnut brown eyes; a glint of accusation flashed within those dark, melanin irises.
“I hate people who can’t believe in the person they had chosen to love.”
He heard his companion say. The voice was faint, yet firm, and uncharacteristically evil, like the words was deliberately dipped in a cauldron of hatred and thrown back flat at his face. Both the underlying implication of those words and the disappointed smile given to him - they sent numerous daggers of guilt in his heart.
He had wanted himself to refute the accusation, to defend himself, to do something, to say something. Anything. Anything that would help him ease the uneasiness tugging at the back of his heart.
“And you’re expecting me to believe in you after what you did?”
That was not what he was planning to say, he screamed to his subconscious mind. That was not what he really feel deep inside. Yet those were the exact words that rolled out of his lips. He was perfectly reiterating the one most detested scene in his life that he would love not to remember.
Silence enveloped the two figures in its arms, building up tension in the air as neither of them said a word. There was a sigh. A very soft sigh, followed by an embittered expression.
“Let’s take a break, YunHo.”
There was a hint of finality in that voice that prevented him from fighting back. There was something in those eyes that made his heart sink, but he was too stubborn to let his psyche notice.
“Fine.” He grunted involuntarily, unable to stop his voice from escaping.
His eyes were momentarily blinded by the sudden burst of white light that enveloped his whole surrounding. The pale, ashen glow was warm to its tips, and yet it left him bereft, it left him cold and empty inside. When the brightness slowly blurred to reveal the original walls of bare black, he was no longer staring at those deep brown eyes he had grown to adore. Instead he saw himself and his love, both turning on their heels as an aftermath of their argument.
As he watched them walk in the opposite direction, as he witnessed both beings moved further away from each other, he felt his pride sink. When he saw, and remembered, that none looked over their shoulder for any chance of remedy, he heard his heart break.
“Hyung..”
He twitched.
“Hyung! YunHo-hyung! Wake up, we’re here already!”
He opened his lids, squinting when the dazzling sun entered his vision, reminding him of the earlier blinding light that broke his reverie. He let his eyes adjust to the bright surrounding and for a moment, all he could see was a sea of white. When it cleared, he was presented with a concerned face topped with platinum-blonde hair.
“Are you okay?”
YunHo shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, rubbing his temples that had throbbed all of a sudden with his fingertips.
If what he had seen just a few moments earlier was just a dream, then that had got to be the most vivid dream he ever had. It was way too vivid, too real to only be a forgotten fragment of reality that his subconscious mind refused to accept.
“Yeah.. I’m cool.” He managed to mutter, picking up his duffel bag and followed the lead down the bus.
“You sure?”
He turned to give his other friend a small smile over his shoulder.
“It’s just the heat, YooChun.”
“That’s good to hear,” YooChun cracked, returning the smile with a grin as he slung an arm over the other’s shoulders. “We’re here to play. To enjoy! It wouldn’t be as fun if you aren’t feeling good.”
YunHo laughed.
“Speaking of which,” he started as he hopped down the yellow bus, raising a hand to cover his eyes from the glare of the sun. Almost immediately, he felt the drastic contrast of the humid heat of the atmosphere once he was released from the cool air-conditioning of the vehicle.
“Where are we?”
YooChun shrugged, adjusting his cap as he let his eyes roam his surrounding.
“JunSu planned this whole trip and I didn’t bother to ask him about it. I slept through the journey so I wasn’t paying attention either.”
YunHo ran one hand through his black mane in a habitual gesture. A couple of metres in front of them, he caught a very familiar back view of the last two of his companion amongst the bare surrounding of the parking lot.
“ChangMin looks like he knows though…”
“Maybe JunSu told him,” YooChun replied, gesturing for his taller friend to follow the other two down the pavement. “But don’t you find this place familiar?”
“Now that you mentioned it…” YunHo trailed off, hurrying down the lane to catch up with the rest of his group.
There was something in the sweet-smelling wind and the hot, humid air that touched YunHo. There was something in the clear, almost cloudless blue sky that made him think back of the people he left back in Seoul. There was something in the whole familiarity of it all that nagged at his mind. It was as if he had been there before.
“It is, isn’t it?”
YunHo nodded, tearing his gaze away from the sky to give YooChun an affirmative gesture.
“Yah, yah, JunSu-yah, where are you taking us to?” YooChun grabbed the blonde by his shoulder, forcing the hyper bundle of energy to release his hold from ChangMin’s shoulder. “I thought you said we’re going somewhere with a beach plus free food and lodging?”
“We’re almost there!” JunSu chirped, maintaining his sunshine-like smile on his fair face. “The house is just down there near the beach.”
“Th-the house?”
YooChun exchanged looks with YunHo who only shrugged, before they both followed JunSu to the end of the road and made their exit. Once they made a turn and the parking lot was way behind, the vast, sapphire-like sea greeted their senses. The clear sound of the waves in a repetitive backwash combined with the sound of random people doing their random activities on the off-white span of sand made pleasant-sounding harmony that was distinctly summer.
They walked for a short distance before JunSu turned around, beaming proudly as he pointed to the rows of houses behind him.
“We’re staying here for the rest of summer! Isn’t this great?”
YunHo could not help but muster a surprised blink when something knocked hard at his memory at the sight of those familiar rows of over-water bungalows. From his peripheral vision, he caught YooChun leaping forward to put his fists on both sides of JunSu’s head and squeezed hard.
“Kim JunSu!” YooChun hollered, almost in rage. “You portrayed such a majestic illusion for us to drown in with the hope of spending summer in somewhere exotic and this is where you bring us to?”
“Ahh!!” JunSu protested loudly, trying to get out of the hold he was put in.
“You should have told us earlier that you’re taking us to your family’s resort!”
“YunHo-hyung! ChangMinnie, help!!”
“You horrible demon-child!”
YunHo laughed at the scene displayed in front of him at JunSu’s expense. It was only when he noticed how red the blonde had became from his futile attempts escaping that he lightly commanded YooChun to release the poor boy.
“You’re so mean.” JunSu sniffed, faking a soft sniffle as he turned to ChangMin who patted his head, smiling in amusement at the antics from the older, yet more child-like blonde.
“We’re low on budget but we want to spend a good summer holiday,” he tried to put his argument across even as he was still holding on to ChangMin’s shirt from his earlier crying act. “This is the best place I could think of since lodging and food is free.”
YooChun raised a sceptic eyebrow at the blonde and JunSu fidgeted nervously.
“Besides I was called to help out this summer and since I want to spend my holiday with you guys I thought…” The squirming blonde added in a soft, meek voice, shifting his eyes down to the ground as he pursed his lower lip out in a mock pout.
The boy with light brown hair rolled his eyes.
“I should have known that there’s something very wrong with such good bargain.” YooChun scoffed. “Free food and lodging? Heh.”
“We only need to help out at the stalls to pay for it.” JunSu was quick to add, earning another glare from the already miffed sophomore.
“This should be the last time we let JunSu plan our holiday,” YunHo chipped in, stifling his laughter at JunSu’s sulking expression.
“Agreed.” YooChun nodded vigorously, eyeing their “home” for this summer balefully. It was not that he hated the place, it was not even the fact that he had to help at the stalls; it was the fact that his hope for an exotic island with exotic beauties was dashed that made him brood. He was not hoping for something really grand like Bora Bora, but he was anticipating something more unusual that just this, something better than just being stuck at the same nameless island in the same secluded corner of South Korea that he had visited for the past three summers. He turned to give JunSu a sour look.
“This is the last time we’re letting you plan our holidays!”
JunSu let his pout deepened as he shifted his eyes from YooChun to YunHo and then back to YooChun, before planting his gaze on the ground, a hint of guilt scribbled on his face. What was wrong with him wanting to spend the summer with them? It was not that they had other plans anyway. Besides, they would have free food and shelter, what could be more economical than this?
“I like it.”
JunSu looked up to see ChangMin looking at the rows of houses before turning to give him an innocent expression.
“I like this,” he repeated with that same angelic smile he always had.
“Aww, ChangMin, I love you!” The blonde gave the younger boy a huge bear hug, shedding his crestfallen façade and immediately returned to his gregarious disposition before making his way across the sandy beach towards the houses. He grabbed YooChun and ChangMin’s hands, the two being closer to him, and dragged both of them forward, earning a grunted yelp from YooChun.
“YunHo-hyung,” he called cheerfully when he saw the oldest of the quartet stayed rooted to his position sporting a faraway look on his face. “Come on! Don’t just stand there!”
Once again, YunHo was broken from his slight reverie at JunSu’s voice. For a moment there, his thought had boarded a train departing for Seoul and was wrenched back roughly with that one call. He shook his head, clearing the maelstrom of random things floating in his mind.
He was there to have fun, was he not? He was there to enjoy himself. He was there to play. He was not there to think of their fight, he was not there to whine about their argument. He had hurt enough; he needed to stop.
“Let’s take a break, YunHo.”
The voice from his bitter memory haunted both his conscious and subconscious. He did not fight back when the request was put across. He did not want their relationship to end, but he did not know what was holding him back either.
Maybe he really wanted it. Maybe he really needed this intermission in their relationship. Maybe he was hoping he would find something here. Here, with his closest friends. Something that he was not even sure existed, but he was hoping for something. Something to mend his bruised ego, something to heal his hurt heart. He did not know what was it that he was searching for, but he was there to find something.
“YunHo!”
“Coming!” YunHo shouted his reply, adjusting the duffel bag slung over his shoulder as he shut the door to his troubled mind and took off towards where his friends were.
It would not be that bad.. right?
“Let’s take a break, YunHo.”
Maybe, just maybe, a break would do them good.
"Whispers and Promises"
Part I
-end-