Prism
Title: Prism
Author: qing_ren / 79_percent
Rating: PG-13
Form: One-shot
Fandom: Shinhwa
Pairing: MinJin
Genre: Angst
Summary: MinWoo came back to confirm his feelings, but JunJin moved on.
A Shinhwa Fan-Fiction
"Prism"
~*~
/All we need then was just an understanding. But it was all useless.. We lacked time./
It was all tense in the 4-room apartment, 17 floors above the sea level in the heart of Seoul. Two figures stared at each other, one sitting down on the chair in the dining room, while the other leaned against the wall, arms folded in front of his chest.
"Now, listen-"
"I'm sick of all your excuses, Lee MinWoo."
"Jin, be reasonable!"
"Reasonable. You're asking me to be reasonable. Gosh, MinWoo, don't you think you're too much?"
"Can't you listen to me for once?"
JunJin gritted his teeth, his knuckles were white as he balled his fist, his nails digging the tender flesh of his palm. This was not going anywhere. If none of them relented, the situation was bound to go down the drain. But he was too tired. Too tired of everything.
"MinWoo.. How do you expect me to be reasonable at times like this?"
"Jinnie.."
"You're going away in three days, not coming back here for at least a few years. And I don't even know about it until now. Three days. Three more friggin' days and you're gone."
JunJin heaved a deep, angry sigh.
"MinWoo, what am I to you? Even if you're not willing to discuss it with me, the very least you should do was to inform me about it. I'm your boyfriend for God's sake. You owe me at least that."
Before MinWoo had a chance to explain himself, JunJin cut him off.
"I'm tired MinWoo. Tired of everything. I.. We can't go on like this. I can't just follow your every wish.. I have my own way of thinking. I'm a human. Your lover. I want you to respect me."
"I've always respected you!!" MinWoo protested.
"You thought so.. But I don't."
JunJin bit his lips.
"MinWoo.. We're through."
With that, JunJin walked out of the apartment. Out of MinWoo's life.
/What had happened between us?/
~*~
-- October 29, 2002 --
JunJin gripped the back of the wooden bench as he took his next step. He staggered a little, testing the strength of his legs. It was getting a tad easier as the days passed. He paused, wiping the sweat off his forehead. He looked at the horizon and marvelled at the beauty of the orange sunset.
When he was young, he told his dad that he did not like sunsets. It seemed to young JunJin that sunset was a vintage which represented the cessation of events. But his father had changed that concept in his mind, by telling him that the end of the past only mark the beginning of a new, a better future. From that one fine day in the second grade, JunJin loved the sunsets.
His hand supported his figure as he carefully settled down on the oak bench. At times like that, he could not help but thought of those good old days he had. And whenever his mind raked his past, it would never fail to stop at one particular incident. He sighed, glancing at his wristwatch. Exactly two years ago, when the brown leaves were falling, blown by the gentle breeze into a mosaic-like dance, he walked away from the love his life. He didn't know if he had regretted his decision then, but he only knew that somewhere in his heart, something within him ached.
And two years; 104 weeks; 730 days.. It was more than enough to change one's life.
"Too long in fact.." he whispered to the wind.
He never would have expected Zephyr to reply.
/JunJin../
He smiled to himself. His mind must have been too exhausted. He was beginning to hear things.
/Jin./
Even the wind sounded like-
JunJin frowned as he abruptly realised that something had been hovering above him for a few minutes. He glanced up and could only stare at the figure. He stared at the soft blond hair, that same pair of warm, black eyes from his past, that angular, graceful face.. He felt something surged within him, something that had been repressed for a long period of time, something from the past that he had longed for..
"MinWoo.."
While the jet black-haired boy on the bench looked totally surprised, MinWoo himself did not look shocked at the slightest bit at his own sudden appearance, and his meeting with JunJin. It was as if he had anticipated it.
"Hey. May I.. sit?" He asked softly, gesturing at the empty space beside JunJin.
Unable to find his voice, the younger of the two just nodded.
The next ten minutes were spent in awkward silence as neither of the two made any hint of starting a conversation. JunJin started to fidget in his seat as his nerves were wearing him down. He timidly stole a glance at his lover.. Ex-lover. Two years without any contact, without seeing each other and MinWoo didn't seem to change at all.
He still had that same hairstyle, except that now, random black strands graced the honey blond mass in a style that suited the figure perfectly. And the way he sat.. The way he brought himself.. His voice.. The way he spoke.. It was so easy to fall back to the comfortable pattern of companionship of the past. Yet, he knew exactly that it would never be the same.
He felt his heart ache.
"So.. How's life, Jin?"
JunJin's smiled inwardly. He didn't realise how much he missed listening to that gentle voice calling his name until he heard it again. He missed how MinWoo would look at him with that affectionate pair of onyx eyes, which seemed to look through his soul. He had thought that his life was reasonably in order, that he was doing fine after that portentous day. He didn't realise the empty space within him had always been left desolate, had perpetually remained vacant. Even after..
"JunJin?"
"Ah.." He broke off from his reverie, faced with a worried expression from MinWoo.
"Nothing much.. I'm still the same ol' me as you can see.."
JunJin answered, rather unwilling to stay on that particular topic.
"How's yours? How's Paris?"
MinWoo just gave him a wan smile as he turned to the direction of the lake. The blue water was painted crimson with yellow hue as the sun continued its journey to the west. He wetted his dry lips, before turning to face JunJin again.
"Have you moved on?"
"Excuse me?"
MinWoo gave JunJin another smile, before he inched closer. Upon reflex, JunJin shifted further away from MinWoo.
"I've been wanting to apologise.. for that day."
"MinWoo-"
"No, Jin. You didn't give me a chance to explain myself two years ago.. At least, I'd have to do it now.." He glanced briefly at the setting sun once again before focusing his attention on the other boy.
"I know nothing could redeem my mistakes in the past.. But, I'm really sorry. For everything."
".."
"I should have returned home earlier, but it was my pride.. My ego.. And so many things happened in Paris, that it had to be done only after so long.."
"..I shouldn't have walked away like that too.."
"No, you've the right to."
"MinWoo.."
"Jin, have you moved on?" MinWoo repeated.
JunJin raised one eyebrow at the question. What did he mean?
A third voice broke his train of thoughts.
"Jin ah, I can't.. Oh, I didn't realise you had company."
The tall man who had just arrived ran his hand through his short black hair, trying to get some semblance of his neat hairstyle back.
"Eric.." JunJin whispered.
MinWoo looked at the tall, tanned figure and alternated his vision between JunJin and the newcomer.
"It looks like you're doing well, Jin," he remarked.
There was a twinkle in MinWoo's eyes that JunJin didn't catch.
"This is.." Eric started.
"Eric, this is MinWoo. An old friend of mine. You know him.."
Upon hearing that, MinWoo smiled. More to himself, than to the other two figures present.
/An old friend.. Is that what I am to you?/
"Oh," Eric looked a little startled. His perturbed expression didn't disappear even as he extended his hand.
"I'm Eric Moon. JunJin's.. friend."
MinWoo heard the catch when Eric was searching his brain for a better noun before Eric settled for 'friend'.
So much for being tactful..
MinWoo looked at the extended hand and gulped. He couldn't.. But if he didn't.. Aw wud the heck.
"Lee MinWoo," he smiled as he took Eric's hand for a very brief handshake.
He turned to JunJin and gave him a small grin.
"Glad to see that you've moved on after so long, Jin.."
"One can't just wallow forever in the reminiscence of the past, can he?"
"Well said.."
"You're the one who said that phrase to me, MinWoo."
MinWoo appeared amazed that JunJin could actually still remember that.
He heaved a deep sigh. He had wanted to leave things as it was when he saw Eric, but now, after that sentence, he couldn't help but ask the questions that he had been meaning to ask JunJin these two years. After all, that was the very reason why he came back. Only God knew how hard he had to convince his partner to let him come back here.
"Jin.. Why did we become like this?"
MinWoo asked. He eyed Eric warily, knowing that asking such a question in front of the taller man would provoke some unforeseen negative circumstances, but he did not have a choice. He glanced at the direction of the sun again. He was running out of time.
".. I don't know."
JunJin's reply faltered after each word he said.
"Have you ever regretted what had happened that day?"
"..."
"Have you ever wanted to change what happened between us?"
".. I.."
"Jin.."
"I don't know, MinWoo."
Finally, JunJin found the courage in him to look at MinWoo straight in his eyes. His heart had ached for reasons that he never comprehended for the past two years. Since Fate was giving him a chance to solve his uncertainties, he might as well get it all out. He gave Eric an apologetic look. But he was only rewarded with an understanding. He smiled gratefully.
"Once, I know I did. But after so long.. Why ask the impossible?"
MinWoo gazed at JunJin's dark brown eyes. He saw that the boy beside him had matured over this period of time when he was not by his side. This JunJin was not the one he knew two years ago. He had Eric in his life now. And MinWoo did realise that he was not being fair to the other boy if he persisted in his questioning.
"MinWoo."
"Yeah?"
"I don't think it's a good idea to keep your boyfriend waiting for too long you know."
MinWoo's eyebrows arched.
"Pardon me?"
JunJin gestured to a silhouette beneath the willow tree about fifty metres behind MinWoo.
"That blonde guy under the tree.. Isn't he your boyfriend? He's been stealing glances at our direction for quite some time.."
MinWoo turned around, and chuckled before turning back again. His eyes widened a little at Eric's confused expression.
/Oh my God!/
"I think you'd better get going," JunJin urged.
"Yeah, I suppose so." He stood up.
MinWoo seemed to be contemplating something before he finally leaned forward and gave JunJin a feather light kiss on his cheek. He whispered something in JunJin's ear before straightening up.
"Take care, Jin. You too, Eric."
"Yeah, nice to meet you MinWoo," Eric replied.
JunJin stared silently at MinWoo's retreating back. Two years ago, he had walked away from MinWoo. Two years later, MinWoo was walking away from him. He could only smile bitterly at the irony of it all. But he had no one else to blame. It was his choice. Destiny told him to choose between MinWoo and his life. He chose his life and walked away. And there was no road that allow him to turn back the time and amend his past.
/"I just wanted to say that I loved you when you walked away two years ago. And though it's impossible between us now, I still do.."/
/MinWoo.. I do too.. But I can't../
"Why didn't you tell him everything?"
JunJin followed Eric with his eyes as the latter moved in front of him and crouched down. Eric took the younger boy's cold hands in his and repeated his question, "Jin ah, why didn't you tell him?"
"It wouldn't have made a difference, would it, Eric?"
"But at least.."
"It's not possible between us anymore."
"But your legs-"
"It's not his fault."
Eric could only give the other a concerned look.
"I'm worried about you."
"I know."
JunJin sighed in contentment as Eric enveloped him in an embrace.
"I still think that it would be better if you'd told him that you did rush to the airport on the day of his departure."
"Eric.."
"If it weren't for him, you wouldn't even be in this state."
"Eric. It's hardly his fault."
"But you did it for him."
Eric gently stroked the soft black strands of JunJin's hair.
"I.."
Eric released the other boy from his arms.
"Your sacrifice is too much."
"Eric, please.."
"If you hadn't sped that day, that accident won't happen."
"..."
"Jin.."
"Let's go back."
"You sure you're alright?"
JunJin bit his quivering lips. Tears were threatening to well up in his eyes, but he was determined not to shed anymore tears. He turned around, giving the direction where MinWoo had gone one last glance.
/Is that it?/
Is that the end of them? JunJin could not help but think. He knew very well that technically, they were over two years ago. But little did he expect that a real farewell from his past would hurt that much.
"Eric, let's go home.."
The older of the two gave JunJin an apprehensive look.
"You're so stubborn.."
/And you're hurting inside../
Eric picked up a metal structure beneath the wooden bench and unfolded it to reveal a wheelchair. He carried JunJin in his arms before putting him down. After making sure that his younger companion was safely seated, he rushed to the back of the chair and the two made their way out of the park.
"Jin ah," Eric called, pushing the wheelchair across the pavement path in the park.
"Ne?"
"Who're you referring as MinWoo's boyfriend?"
"The blond guy in white, beneath that willow tree. Didn't you see him? I thought he was pretty striking cause I thought that I saw a yellow light surrounding him." He smiled. "Then I realised that it was just the sun rays shining against him.."
Eric cocked his head as his mind raced back to their recent encounter. He couldn't have missed any people if the guy was supposed to be that attention catching, looking at the deserted condition of the park.
"I don't mean to sound creepy or anything, and I know this might sound absurd, but I could have sworn that the park doesn't have any other young male besides you and me. And MinWoo maybe.."
JunJin turned around from his sitting position and frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
JunJin had thought that his lover was telling him a joke to cheer him up but he was graced with Eric's dead serious expression.
"Eric, what are you talking about?"
JunJin demanded when Eric did not answer his question.
"Maybe it's my imagination but at first, I didn't see you talking to MinWoo until I was standing right beside the bench. I thought you were talking to the air from far."
"Eric.." JunJin groaned in exasperation.
"Ack, I know, I know. Okay, I'll stop being paranoid, but I just want to tell you that something is not right."
JunJin frowned once again as he absently thought of Eric's words. His eyes scanned the passing scenery around him as he tried to make sense of the older boy's abstract, not to mention random and quite unbelievable, remarks. His eyes sparkled as he thought of an interesting conclusion.
"Hey," he called.
"What?"
"You're jealous."
Eric blinked. He believed that JunJin had meant that sentence to be a question, but it came out more of a statement than anything else.
"No, I'm not."
JunJin chuckled.
"Aw, come on, Jin. I know you more than that. And don't you think that MinWoo's a little cold?"
"He had always been like that."
"I mean he's cold physically. Don't you think that the air around him was a little.. different?"
JunJin turned around again.
"You don't have to go through all that for a little hug, you know.."
He teased.
Eric looked at JunJin's smiling face and could only sigh in defeat.
What else could he ask when his lover had such a blissful expression on his fair face?
"Alright, alright. I'm being paranoid.."
JunJin smiled knowingly at Eric's defeated expression. Just as he looked up, he saw a rainbow spanning across the azure sky in a perfect arc. It was kind of unexpected since the rain had stopped even before MinWoo's arrival and yet the rainbow, that colourful spectrum, only chose to appear at that very moment.
"Look," he pointed up. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Not on par with someone I know," Eric answered with a teasing lilt in his tone.
JunJin felt his cheek warm up at the compliment. Then he thought, just like there would be a rainbow after a shower somewhere in the heavens, there would be a silver lining somewhere out there in a dark tunnel. One couldn't hold on to the past forever. For Eric, for MinWoo and for himself.. He would move on.
/Annyoung../
As the two figures exited the park, the autumn breeze blew, taking the dried, brown leaves off the pavement, forming a miniature gale. Amidst the autumnal epitome, among the brown patches, a lone piece of newspaper flew from a sleeping old man's grasp and landed with a soft rustle on the bench where the three figures just left.
The Seoul Times
October 28, 2002
Headlines: A plane from Paris, heading for Seoul's Incheon International Airport crashed for unknown reason this morning. No survivors had been detected. Matters are still being investigated.
~*~
"MinWoo yah, I hope you do realise that you're getting both you and I into trouble by doing this.."
"Mianhae.."
HyeSung looked at the shorter blonde.
"Dangshin.. Gwenchanayo?"
He peered in, eyebrow raised in a concerned expression.
MinWoo flung himself towards HyeSung and hugged him tightly.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"Allow me.. For a while.."
There was something in MinWoo's tone and trembling voice that prevented HyeSung from saying 'no', that restrained him from rejecting the request. And so, while MinWoo had his arms tightly clasped around his neck, HyeSung could only gently return the embrace, putting his arms loosely around MinWoo's waist.
/You're hurting inside.. Both of you../
"Everything's done?"
"Yeah.."
"You explained everything to JunJin?"
"Yeah.."
"So we can go now?"
"Yeah.."
HyeSung smirked at the absent answers as he fluttered his wings.
"Do you love me?"
"Yeah.."
HyeSung chuckled. His new partner is so adorable.
"MinWoo, get serious. It's not even my first day with you and already I have to write a report."
He muttered something about fussy supervisor under his breath.
There was a long pause, the atmosphere was stagnant as the two stayed that way. It was barely over a day after HyeSung was sent to retrieve his latest assignment. He was looking forward to it as they told him that this new being would be his partner after all the paperwork had been done. But MinWoo was not like the traditional, cliched dead soul he had met over his service period of a few decades.
For one, he didn't freak out when HyeSung told him that he was dead and that the person standing in front of him was an angel. Then, he did not go into some kind of exaggerated denial like majority of his 'clients' did. Instead, MinWoo asked if he could go back to Seoul. Sure, no problem. However, when he asked if he could see JunJin, HyeSung hesitated. It was against the rules. For angels.. or in MinWoo's case, a soon-to-be angel, to appear before an ordinary human. But he seemed so.. lost and remorseful that HyeSung could not find it in his heart to decline the outrageous request.
/With that kind of past.. It's not surprising./
"I love you.."
HyeSung raised one finely sculpted black eyebrow and glanced at the boy in his arms. He frowned.
"MinWoo, don't tell me that. Tell JunJin."
".."
HyeSung was about to say something else before he heard a loud ringing from some random direction above him. He winced at the shrill sound. The authorities in the heavens should do a thing or two about that bell.
"They're calling us.."
He said softly, a little unsure if he should break the tranquillity that MinWoo seemed to be having.
"I know. I was listening to you all the time."
MinWoo replied from behind the blond angel's head.
"Let's just hope that the others beside DongWan didn't know about this.."
"Maybe.."
"I think that Eric guy suspected, but I don't think JunJin did."
"But, Sungie, he saw you."
HyeSung's almond shaped eyes doubled in size.
"He did?"
He released MinWoo from his arms and shook the other boy by the shoulders.
"Tell me he didn't."
MinWoo gave him an innocent look.
"But he really did," he replied.
"Argh! I'd have one more report to write!!"
HyeSung looked like he was ready to tear out his chin length hair from his scalp. He could already imagine DongWan, despite his conventional white robe, turning red, and fuming till devil horns appeared on top of his head. He groaned.
"We're not supposed to be seen by humans!"
"I'm sorry.."
"It's half your fault."
"And I thought you'd say it's *all* my fault."
"Half of it was mine cause I'm dumb enough to agree to your request."
"Dumb, but undeniably nice."
"Come on, let's go back up," HyeSung said, after grumbling at being called dumb.
MinWoo eyed his pristine white wings wearily.
"I don't really know how to use this you know.."
"Don't worry.. You'll get used to it."
"What if I don't?"
HyeSung gave MinWoo a look.
"You don't want to see Guardian Angels like us riding magical brooms do you?"
MinWoo smirked, "I wouldn't mind seeing you on one."
"Why am I stuck with you?" HyeSung rolled his eyes as he took off from the ground and flew towards the white clouds.
"Hey, wait up!!"
MinWoo kicked off and hovered in mid air for a while. He turned and glanced at the bench where they had conversed earlier and smiled. If only things didn't turn out this way.. He thought to himself. Then again, everything would never be the same if the past had changed. Maybe he wouldn't even love like he did now. Perhaps the relationship wouldn't last that long.. Perchance, that separation two years ago was necessary.
"MinWoo, the sun is setting in a few minutes time and if we don't get back to heaven by then, DongWan will fry us."
But what was the use of saying all that now? JunJin had moved on, and he himself could never return back to Earth. They had crossed paths, but neither stayed long enough on that same lane. If only..
"MinWoo.."
"Coming!!" He hollered as he flew towards the blonde angel.
MinWoo paused mid-way as he took notice of the rainbow. He marvelled at the sheer elegance it possessed.
"Ne, HyeSung."
"Hn?"
"Could the people in Seoul see this?"
HyeSung raised his eyebrow in amusement, knowing where the question was directed.
"Of course."
MinWoo just stared, his face a serene expression as he seemed to be in deep thought.
"At least," HyeSung continued. "JunJin would see it."
MinWoo turned around abruptly to see the other figure's smiling face.
"I'm not talking about him," MinWoo said defensively.
"Yeah.. Yeah, I believe you."
"I really am not!!"
"I know, I know," HyeSung pulled MinWoo's arms as he lifted themselves off the air and started to fly towards their destination. That smile never leaving his amused expression. MinWoo kept mumbling under his breath as he let himself being dragged across the orange tinted blue sky.
/Annyoung../
/They said what we need is time. I guess they're right..
If only we had more time together, I'd love you all over again./
~END~
Author: qing_ren / 79_percent
Rating: PG-13
Form: One-shot
Fandom: Shinhwa
Pairing: MinJin
Genre: Angst
Summary: MinWoo came back to confirm his feelings, but JunJin moved on.
A Shinhwa Fan-Fiction
"Prism"
~*~
/All we need then was just an understanding. But it was all useless.. We lacked time./
It was all tense in the 4-room apartment, 17 floors above the sea level in the heart of Seoul. Two figures stared at each other, one sitting down on the chair in the dining room, while the other leaned against the wall, arms folded in front of his chest.
"Now, listen-"
"I'm sick of all your excuses, Lee MinWoo."
"Jin, be reasonable!"
"Reasonable. You're asking me to be reasonable. Gosh, MinWoo, don't you think you're too much?"
"Can't you listen to me for once?"
JunJin gritted his teeth, his knuckles were white as he balled his fist, his nails digging the tender flesh of his palm. This was not going anywhere. If none of them relented, the situation was bound to go down the drain. But he was too tired. Too tired of everything.
"MinWoo.. How do you expect me to be reasonable at times like this?"
"Jinnie.."
"You're going away in three days, not coming back here for at least a few years. And I don't even know about it until now. Three days. Three more friggin' days and you're gone."
JunJin heaved a deep, angry sigh.
"MinWoo, what am I to you? Even if you're not willing to discuss it with me, the very least you should do was to inform me about it. I'm your boyfriend for God's sake. You owe me at least that."
Before MinWoo had a chance to explain himself, JunJin cut him off.
"I'm tired MinWoo. Tired of everything. I.. We can't go on like this. I can't just follow your every wish.. I have my own way of thinking. I'm a human. Your lover. I want you to respect me."
"I've always respected you!!" MinWoo protested.
"You thought so.. But I don't."
JunJin bit his lips.
"MinWoo.. We're through."
With that, JunJin walked out of the apartment. Out of MinWoo's life.
/What had happened between us?/
~*~
-- October 29, 2002 --
JunJin gripped the back of the wooden bench as he took his next step. He staggered a little, testing the strength of his legs. It was getting a tad easier as the days passed. He paused, wiping the sweat off his forehead. He looked at the horizon and marvelled at the beauty of the orange sunset.
When he was young, he told his dad that he did not like sunsets. It seemed to young JunJin that sunset was a vintage which represented the cessation of events. But his father had changed that concept in his mind, by telling him that the end of the past only mark the beginning of a new, a better future. From that one fine day in the second grade, JunJin loved the sunsets.
His hand supported his figure as he carefully settled down on the oak bench. At times like that, he could not help but thought of those good old days he had. And whenever his mind raked his past, it would never fail to stop at one particular incident. He sighed, glancing at his wristwatch. Exactly two years ago, when the brown leaves were falling, blown by the gentle breeze into a mosaic-like dance, he walked away from the love his life. He didn't know if he had regretted his decision then, but he only knew that somewhere in his heart, something within him ached.
And two years; 104 weeks; 730 days.. It was more than enough to change one's life.
"Too long in fact.." he whispered to the wind.
He never would have expected Zephyr to reply.
/JunJin../
He smiled to himself. His mind must have been too exhausted. He was beginning to hear things.
/Jin./
Even the wind sounded like-
JunJin frowned as he abruptly realised that something had been hovering above him for a few minutes. He glanced up and could only stare at the figure. He stared at the soft blond hair, that same pair of warm, black eyes from his past, that angular, graceful face.. He felt something surged within him, something that had been repressed for a long period of time, something from the past that he had longed for..
"MinWoo.."
While the jet black-haired boy on the bench looked totally surprised, MinWoo himself did not look shocked at the slightest bit at his own sudden appearance, and his meeting with JunJin. It was as if he had anticipated it.
"Hey. May I.. sit?" He asked softly, gesturing at the empty space beside JunJin.
Unable to find his voice, the younger of the two just nodded.
The next ten minutes were spent in awkward silence as neither of the two made any hint of starting a conversation. JunJin started to fidget in his seat as his nerves were wearing him down. He timidly stole a glance at his lover.. Ex-lover. Two years without any contact, without seeing each other and MinWoo didn't seem to change at all.
He still had that same hairstyle, except that now, random black strands graced the honey blond mass in a style that suited the figure perfectly. And the way he sat.. The way he brought himself.. His voice.. The way he spoke.. It was so easy to fall back to the comfortable pattern of companionship of the past. Yet, he knew exactly that it would never be the same.
He felt his heart ache.
"So.. How's life, Jin?"
JunJin's smiled inwardly. He didn't realise how much he missed listening to that gentle voice calling his name until he heard it again. He missed how MinWoo would look at him with that affectionate pair of onyx eyes, which seemed to look through his soul. He had thought that his life was reasonably in order, that he was doing fine after that portentous day. He didn't realise the empty space within him had always been left desolate, had perpetually remained vacant. Even after..
"JunJin?"
"Ah.." He broke off from his reverie, faced with a worried expression from MinWoo.
"Nothing much.. I'm still the same ol' me as you can see.."
JunJin answered, rather unwilling to stay on that particular topic.
"How's yours? How's Paris?"
MinWoo just gave him a wan smile as he turned to the direction of the lake. The blue water was painted crimson with yellow hue as the sun continued its journey to the west. He wetted his dry lips, before turning to face JunJin again.
"Have you moved on?"
"Excuse me?"
MinWoo gave JunJin another smile, before he inched closer. Upon reflex, JunJin shifted further away from MinWoo.
"I've been wanting to apologise.. for that day."
"MinWoo-"
"No, Jin. You didn't give me a chance to explain myself two years ago.. At least, I'd have to do it now.." He glanced briefly at the setting sun once again before focusing his attention on the other boy.
"I know nothing could redeem my mistakes in the past.. But, I'm really sorry. For everything."
".."
"I should have returned home earlier, but it was my pride.. My ego.. And so many things happened in Paris, that it had to be done only after so long.."
"..I shouldn't have walked away like that too.."
"No, you've the right to."
"MinWoo.."
"Jin, have you moved on?" MinWoo repeated.
JunJin raised one eyebrow at the question. What did he mean?
A third voice broke his train of thoughts.
"Jin ah, I can't.. Oh, I didn't realise you had company."
The tall man who had just arrived ran his hand through his short black hair, trying to get some semblance of his neat hairstyle back.
"Eric.." JunJin whispered.
MinWoo looked at the tall, tanned figure and alternated his vision between JunJin and the newcomer.
"It looks like you're doing well, Jin," he remarked.
There was a twinkle in MinWoo's eyes that JunJin didn't catch.
"This is.." Eric started.
"Eric, this is MinWoo. An old friend of mine. You know him.."
Upon hearing that, MinWoo smiled. More to himself, than to the other two figures present.
/An old friend.. Is that what I am to you?/
"Oh," Eric looked a little startled. His perturbed expression didn't disappear even as he extended his hand.
"I'm Eric Moon. JunJin's.. friend."
MinWoo heard the catch when Eric was searching his brain for a better noun before Eric settled for 'friend'.
So much for being tactful..
MinWoo looked at the extended hand and gulped. He couldn't.. But if he didn't.. Aw wud the heck.
"Lee MinWoo," he smiled as he took Eric's hand for a very brief handshake.
He turned to JunJin and gave him a small grin.
"Glad to see that you've moved on after so long, Jin.."
"One can't just wallow forever in the reminiscence of the past, can he?"
"Well said.."
"You're the one who said that phrase to me, MinWoo."
MinWoo appeared amazed that JunJin could actually still remember that.
He heaved a deep sigh. He had wanted to leave things as it was when he saw Eric, but now, after that sentence, he couldn't help but ask the questions that he had been meaning to ask JunJin these two years. After all, that was the very reason why he came back. Only God knew how hard he had to convince his partner to let him come back here.
"Jin.. Why did we become like this?"
MinWoo asked. He eyed Eric warily, knowing that asking such a question in front of the taller man would provoke some unforeseen negative circumstances, but he did not have a choice. He glanced at the direction of the sun again. He was running out of time.
".. I don't know."
JunJin's reply faltered after each word he said.
"Have you ever regretted what had happened that day?"
"..."
"Have you ever wanted to change what happened between us?"
".. I.."
"Jin.."
"I don't know, MinWoo."
Finally, JunJin found the courage in him to look at MinWoo straight in his eyes. His heart had ached for reasons that he never comprehended for the past two years. Since Fate was giving him a chance to solve his uncertainties, he might as well get it all out. He gave Eric an apologetic look. But he was only rewarded with an understanding. He smiled gratefully.
"Once, I know I did. But after so long.. Why ask the impossible?"
MinWoo gazed at JunJin's dark brown eyes. He saw that the boy beside him had matured over this period of time when he was not by his side. This JunJin was not the one he knew two years ago. He had Eric in his life now. And MinWoo did realise that he was not being fair to the other boy if he persisted in his questioning.
"MinWoo."
"Yeah?"
"I don't think it's a good idea to keep your boyfriend waiting for too long you know."
MinWoo's eyebrows arched.
"Pardon me?"
JunJin gestured to a silhouette beneath the willow tree about fifty metres behind MinWoo.
"That blonde guy under the tree.. Isn't he your boyfriend? He's been stealing glances at our direction for quite some time.."
MinWoo turned around, and chuckled before turning back again. His eyes widened a little at Eric's confused expression.
/Oh my God!/
"I think you'd better get going," JunJin urged.
"Yeah, I suppose so." He stood up.
MinWoo seemed to be contemplating something before he finally leaned forward and gave JunJin a feather light kiss on his cheek. He whispered something in JunJin's ear before straightening up.
"Take care, Jin. You too, Eric."
"Yeah, nice to meet you MinWoo," Eric replied.
JunJin stared silently at MinWoo's retreating back. Two years ago, he had walked away from MinWoo. Two years later, MinWoo was walking away from him. He could only smile bitterly at the irony of it all. But he had no one else to blame. It was his choice. Destiny told him to choose between MinWoo and his life. He chose his life and walked away. And there was no road that allow him to turn back the time and amend his past.
/"I just wanted to say that I loved you when you walked away two years ago. And though it's impossible between us now, I still do.."/
/MinWoo.. I do too.. But I can't../
"Why didn't you tell him everything?"
JunJin followed Eric with his eyes as the latter moved in front of him and crouched down. Eric took the younger boy's cold hands in his and repeated his question, "Jin ah, why didn't you tell him?"
"It wouldn't have made a difference, would it, Eric?"
"But at least.."
"It's not possible between us anymore."
"But your legs-"
"It's not his fault."
Eric could only give the other a concerned look.
"I'm worried about you."
"I know."
JunJin sighed in contentment as Eric enveloped him in an embrace.
"I still think that it would be better if you'd told him that you did rush to the airport on the day of his departure."
"Eric.."
"If it weren't for him, you wouldn't even be in this state."
"Eric. It's hardly his fault."
"But you did it for him."
Eric gently stroked the soft black strands of JunJin's hair.
"I.."
Eric released the other boy from his arms.
"Your sacrifice is too much."
"Eric, please.."
"If you hadn't sped that day, that accident won't happen."
"..."
"Jin.."
"Let's go back."
"You sure you're alright?"
JunJin bit his quivering lips. Tears were threatening to well up in his eyes, but he was determined not to shed anymore tears. He turned around, giving the direction where MinWoo had gone one last glance.
/Is that it?/
Is that the end of them? JunJin could not help but think. He knew very well that technically, they were over two years ago. But little did he expect that a real farewell from his past would hurt that much.
"Eric, let's go home.."
The older of the two gave JunJin an apprehensive look.
"You're so stubborn.."
/And you're hurting inside../
Eric picked up a metal structure beneath the wooden bench and unfolded it to reveal a wheelchair. He carried JunJin in his arms before putting him down. After making sure that his younger companion was safely seated, he rushed to the back of the chair and the two made their way out of the park.
"Jin ah," Eric called, pushing the wheelchair across the pavement path in the park.
"Ne?"
"Who're you referring as MinWoo's boyfriend?"
"The blond guy in white, beneath that willow tree. Didn't you see him? I thought he was pretty striking cause I thought that I saw a yellow light surrounding him." He smiled. "Then I realised that it was just the sun rays shining against him.."
Eric cocked his head as his mind raced back to their recent encounter. He couldn't have missed any people if the guy was supposed to be that attention catching, looking at the deserted condition of the park.
"I don't mean to sound creepy or anything, and I know this might sound absurd, but I could have sworn that the park doesn't have any other young male besides you and me. And MinWoo maybe.."
JunJin turned around from his sitting position and frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
JunJin had thought that his lover was telling him a joke to cheer him up but he was graced with Eric's dead serious expression.
"Eric, what are you talking about?"
JunJin demanded when Eric did not answer his question.
"Maybe it's my imagination but at first, I didn't see you talking to MinWoo until I was standing right beside the bench. I thought you were talking to the air from far."
"Eric.." JunJin groaned in exasperation.
"Ack, I know, I know. Okay, I'll stop being paranoid, but I just want to tell you that something is not right."
JunJin frowned once again as he absently thought of Eric's words. His eyes scanned the passing scenery around him as he tried to make sense of the older boy's abstract, not to mention random and quite unbelievable, remarks. His eyes sparkled as he thought of an interesting conclusion.
"Hey," he called.
"What?"
"You're jealous."
Eric blinked. He believed that JunJin had meant that sentence to be a question, but it came out more of a statement than anything else.
"No, I'm not."
JunJin chuckled.
"Aw, come on, Jin. I know you more than that. And don't you think that MinWoo's a little cold?"
"He had always been like that."
"I mean he's cold physically. Don't you think that the air around him was a little.. different?"
JunJin turned around again.
"You don't have to go through all that for a little hug, you know.."
He teased.
Eric looked at JunJin's smiling face and could only sigh in defeat.
What else could he ask when his lover had such a blissful expression on his fair face?
"Alright, alright. I'm being paranoid.."
JunJin smiled knowingly at Eric's defeated expression. Just as he looked up, he saw a rainbow spanning across the azure sky in a perfect arc. It was kind of unexpected since the rain had stopped even before MinWoo's arrival and yet the rainbow, that colourful spectrum, only chose to appear at that very moment.
"Look," he pointed up. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Not on par with someone I know," Eric answered with a teasing lilt in his tone.
JunJin felt his cheek warm up at the compliment. Then he thought, just like there would be a rainbow after a shower somewhere in the heavens, there would be a silver lining somewhere out there in a dark tunnel. One couldn't hold on to the past forever. For Eric, for MinWoo and for himself.. He would move on.
/Annyoung../
As the two figures exited the park, the autumn breeze blew, taking the dried, brown leaves off the pavement, forming a miniature gale. Amidst the autumnal epitome, among the brown patches, a lone piece of newspaper flew from a sleeping old man's grasp and landed with a soft rustle on the bench where the three figures just left.
The Seoul Times
October 28, 2002
Headlines: A plane from Paris, heading for Seoul's Incheon International Airport crashed for unknown reason this morning. No survivors had been detected. Matters are still being investigated.
~*~
"MinWoo yah, I hope you do realise that you're getting both you and I into trouble by doing this.."
"Mianhae.."
HyeSung looked at the shorter blonde.
"Dangshin.. Gwenchanayo?"
He peered in, eyebrow raised in a concerned expression.
MinWoo flung himself towards HyeSung and hugged him tightly.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"Allow me.. For a while.."
There was something in MinWoo's tone and trembling voice that prevented HyeSung from saying 'no', that restrained him from rejecting the request. And so, while MinWoo had his arms tightly clasped around his neck, HyeSung could only gently return the embrace, putting his arms loosely around MinWoo's waist.
/You're hurting inside.. Both of you../
"Everything's done?"
"Yeah.."
"You explained everything to JunJin?"
"Yeah.."
"So we can go now?"
"Yeah.."
HyeSung smirked at the absent answers as he fluttered his wings.
"Do you love me?"
"Yeah.."
HyeSung chuckled. His new partner is so adorable.
"MinWoo, get serious. It's not even my first day with you and already I have to write a report."
He muttered something about fussy supervisor under his breath.
There was a long pause, the atmosphere was stagnant as the two stayed that way. It was barely over a day after HyeSung was sent to retrieve his latest assignment. He was looking forward to it as they told him that this new being would be his partner after all the paperwork had been done. But MinWoo was not like the traditional, cliched dead soul he had met over his service period of a few decades.
For one, he didn't freak out when HyeSung told him that he was dead and that the person standing in front of him was an angel. Then, he did not go into some kind of exaggerated denial like majority of his 'clients' did. Instead, MinWoo asked if he could go back to Seoul. Sure, no problem. However, when he asked if he could see JunJin, HyeSung hesitated. It was against the rules. For angels.. or in MinWoo's case, a soon-to-be angel, to appear before an ordinary human. But he seemed so.. lost and remorseful that HyeSung could not find it in his heart to decline the outrageous request.
/With that kind of past.. It's not surprising./
"I love you.."
HyeSung raised one finely sculpted black eyebrow and glanced at the boy in his arms. He frowned.
"MinWoo, don't tell me that. Tell JunJin."
".."
HyeSung was about to say something else before he heard a loud ringing from some random direction above him. He winced at the shrill sound. The authorities in the heavens should do a thing or two about that bell.
"They're calling us.."
He said softly, a little unsure if he should break the tranquillity that MinWoo seemed to be having.
"I know. I was listening to you all the time."
MinWoo replied from behind the blond angel's head.
"Let's just hope that the others beside DongWan didn't know about this.."
"Maybe.."
"I think that Eric guy suspected, but I don't think JunJin did."
"But, Sungie, he saw you."
HyeSung's almond shaped eyes doubled in size.
"He did?"
He released MinWoo from his arms and shook the other boy by the shoulders.
"Tell me he didn't."
MinWoo gave him an innocent look.
"But he really did," he replied.
"Argh! I'd have one more report to write!!"
HyeSung looked like he was ready to tear out his chin length hair from his scalp. He could already imagine DongWan, despite his conventional white robe, turning red, and fuming till devil horns appeared on top of his head. He groaned.
"We're not supposed to be seen by humans!"
"I'm sorry.."
"It's half your fault."
"And I thought you'd say it's *all* my fault."
"Half of it was mine cause I'm dumb enough to agree to your request."
"Dumb, but undeniably nice."
"Come on, let's go back up," HyeSung said, after grumbling at being called dumb.
MinWoo eyed his pristine white wings wearily.
"I don't really know how to use this you know.."
"Don't worry.. You'll get used to it."
"What if I don't?"
HyeSung gave MinWoo a look.
"You don't want to see Guardian Angels like us riding magical brooms do you?"
MinWoo smirked, "I wouldn't mind seeing you on one."
"Why am I stuck with you?" HyeSung rolled his eyes as he took off from the ground and flew towards the white clouds.
"Hey, wait up!!"
MinWoo kicked off and hovered in mid air for a while. He turned and glanced at the bench where they had conversed earlier and smiled. If only things didn't turn out this way.. He thought to himself. Then again, everything would never be the same if the past had changed. Maybe he wouldn't even love like he did now. Perhaps the relationship wouldn't last that long.. Perchance, that separation two years ago was necessary.
"MinWoo, the sun is setting in a few minutes time and if we don't get back to heaven by then, DongWan will fry us."
But what was the use of saying all that now? JunJin had moved on, and he himself could never return back to Earth. They had crossed paths, but neither stayed long enough on that same lane. If only..
"MinWoo.."
"Coming!!" He hollered as he flew towards the blonde angel.
MinWoo paused mid-way as he took notice of the rainbow. He marvelled at the sheer elegance it possessed.
"Ne, HyeSung."
"Hn?"
"Could the people in Seoul see this?"
HyeSung raised his eyebrow in amusement, knowing where the question was directed.
"Of course."
MinWoo just stared, his face a serene expression as he seemed to be in deep thought.
"At least," HyeSung continued. "JunJin would see it."
MinWoo turned around abruptly to see the other figure's smiling face.
"I'm not talking about him," MinWoo said defensively.
"Yeah.. Yeah, I believe you."
"I really am not!!"
"I know, I know," HyeSung pulled MinWoo's arms as he lifted themselves off the air and started to fly towards their destination. That smile never leaving his amused expression. MinWoo kept mumbling under his breath as he let himself being dragged across the orange tinted blue sky.
/Annyoung../
/They said what we need is time. I guess they're right..
If only we had more time together, I'd love you all over again./
~END~