(no subject)
Hello, fellow undead members! I apologize for my absence over the past several months. To make up for it, I offer you a new installment of my old column. I realize that it is a paltry offering and I realize that it looks a bit pathetic ("Douglas has been away for months and all he's got to show for it is this?), but I hope that, what with the lack of community involvement in recent months, my lack of creativity will go unnoticed you'll all be so overjoyed to see some life (ha!) about this place that you'll possibly overlook the content of the column itself just enjoy what I've written.
As usual, comments are welcome, but not mandatory.
1/20/2006
Another non-Thursday, another lack of column. It occurs to me that, despite the title of this column, I very rarely actually written my columns on Thursdays. Which leads me to today’s topic of discussion: procrastination. Procrastination is a phenomenon that affects every human being with several quasi-important tasks and a certain apathetic attitude to actually accomplishing said task. It also happens to be a condition about which I feel I am actually qualified to speak. Although my official profession is listed as “Writer”, those of you who know anything about the writing process would likely concur that my occupation should probably be listed as “Procrastinator”.
For example - I was just about to start really getting in to writing this column when, inexplicably, ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’ started playing on the radio. I was so thrown off by this turn of events that I had to completely cease my writing attempt and listen to it immediately. Why on earth would a radio DJ be playing ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’ at 10.58 in the morning? You’d think a song like that would be reserved for some monumentous point of day, when something particularly exciting was happening. Perhaps 8pm. Interesting things tend to happen around 8pm; lots of movies start around then, as well as dinners and various other gala occasions. Although, I suppose people wouldn’t really be listening to the radio were they attending these said activities. So, perhaps, ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ would be best received were it played an hour or so before hand, while people preparing for these activities with a shower, a shave, and a quick change of clothes. It would certainly make one feel like he was suddenly preparing for something important, as opposed to getting ready to go to another mind-boggingly dull dinner party hosted by friends of his wife whose names he could never remember and who had a tendency to look up at him skeptically whenever he attempted to say anything at all and who never served anything that wasn’t burned beyond recognition. Listening to ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ might just help the poor bloke to forget that he’s going to spend the next hours feeling out of place and bored. It would certainly be better than listening to his wife remind him to compliment the hosts on their new foyer, as it had just been redone and the renovations had taken ages and hadn’t been too costly and perhaps it would be a good idea to get the name of their interior decorator because it’s been ages since anything’s been done to this house and isn’t it time that hole in the wall connecting the office and the front hall was patched up…
But I digress. See? Procrastination is a dangerous thing.
What makes me curious is, why do we feel the need to procrastinate? Procrastination most often comes about when there is work to be done that one is disinclined to begin. But, even when you begin procrastinating, you know that it isn’t going to help the situation. The task you’re not doing is still going to be there, not getting any closer to being accomplished. If you have a deadline, it’s still going to be there. You’re really just being self-defeating about the whole process.
And, seriously, what are you really doing instead? Bumming about on the Internet? Taking a convenient walk to a pub when you editor phones? Attending a dinner party you’d much rather avoid? I’ve always found that, when I am procrastinating, I am often doing something much less important then the work I am aware I should be doing. Furthermore, there is a point at which my procrastination becomes uninteresting, to the point where I would probably be enjoying myself more were I actually doing the work I was meant to be doing. And still, I find myself more likely to completely the most useless, inane tasks before I actually get around to doing something I’m supposed to have done. (An example of this: recently, while trying once again to completely avoid rewriting a chapter of a novel that was due to my editor sometime in 2004, I suddenly remembered that, at one point, I was going to make a list of every single person I’d ever met and see what percentage of people I knew had names beginning with the letter A. I’ve always been convinced that I’ve known more people whose names begin with A than with any other letter, and it seemed like this would be a good way to test the theory. For the record, in case you are interested, my current calculations show that 18% of all of the people I’ve ever known have names beginning with the letter A. This is a significantly greater percentage that that of any other letter, although my calculations are likely a bit off; remembering the name every single person I’ve ever met is extremely complicated.)
This is exactly what I mean: How is it that I can find time for an activity such as the one mentioned above and still put off balancing my checkbook, which would take far less time and be much more constructive? Unfortunately, I really don’t have any sort of conclusion to this query of mine. Perhaps that’s why I wrote about it; it’s easier to write columns when you know you needn’t come to any solid ending. I suppose that’s why it’s easier for writers to bang out columns than it is for us to bang out novels.
Still. If anyone has any sort of insight on the procrastination issue, you’re welcome to let me know your ideas. Maybe I’ll give them a look-over the next time I’m avoiding seven months worth of unopened bank statements.
As usual, comments are welcome, but not mandatory.
1/20/2006
Another non-Thursday, another lack of column. It occurs to me that, despite the title of this column, I very rarely actually written my columns on Thursdays. Which leads me to today’s topic of discussion: procrastination. Procrastination is a phenomenon that affects every human being with several quasi-important tasks and a certain apathetic attitude to actually accomplishing said task. It also happens to be a condition about which I feel I am actually qualified to speak. Although my official profession is listed as “Writer”, those of you who know anything about the writing process would likely concur that my occupation should probably be listed as “Procrastinator”.
For example - I was just about to start really getting in to writing this column when, inexplicably, ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’ started playing on the radio. I was so thrown off by this turn of events that I had to completely cease my writing attempt and listen to it immediately. Why on earth would a radio DJ be playing ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’ at 10.58 in the morning? You’d think a song like that would be reserved for some monumentous point of day, when something particularly exciting was happening. Perhaps 8pm. Interesting things tend to happen around 8pm; lots of movies start around then, as well as dinners and various other gala occasions. Although, I suppose people wouldn’t really be listening to the radio were they attending these said activities. So, perhaps, ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ would be best received were it played an hour or so before hand, while people preparing for these activities with a shower, a shave, and a quick change of clothes. It would certainly make one feel like he was suddenly preparing for something important, as opposed to getting ready to go to another mind-boggingly dull dinner party hosted by friends of his wife whose names he could never remember and who had a tendency to look up at him skeptically whenever he attempted to say anything at all and who never served anything that wasn’t burned beyond recognition. Listening to ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ might just help the poor bloke to forget that he’s going to spend the next hours feeling out of place and bored. It would certainly be better than listening to his wife remind him to compliment the hosts on their new foyer, as it had just been redone and the renovations had taken ages and hadn’t been too costly and perhaps it would be a good idea to get the name of their interior decorator because it’s been ages since anything’s been done to this house and isn’t it time that hole in the wall connecting the office and the front hall was patched up…
But I digress. See? Procrastination is a dangerous thing.
What makes me curious is, why do we feel the need to procrastinate? Procrastination most often comes about when there is work to be done that one is disinclined to begin. But, even when you begin procrastinating, you know that it isn’t going to help the situation. The task you’re not doing is still going to be there, not getting any closer to being accomplished. If you have a deadline, it’s still going to be there. You’re really just being self-defeating about the whole process.
And, seriously, what are you really doing instead? Bumming about on the Internet? Taking a convenient walk to a pub when you editor phones? Attending a dinner party you’d much rather avoid? I’ve always found that, when I am procrastinating, I am often doing something much less important then the work I am aware I should be doing. Furthermore, there is a point at which my procrastination becomes uninteresting, to the point where I would probably be enjoying myself more were I actually doing the work I was meant to be doing. And still, I find myself more likely to completely the most useless, inane tasks before I actually get around to doing something I’m supposed to have done. (An example of this: recently, while trying once again to completely avoid rewriting a chapter of a novel that was due to my editor sometime in 2004, I suddenly remembered that, at one point, I was going to make a list of every single person I’d ever met and see what percentage of people I knew had names beginning with the letter A. I’ve always been convinced that I’ve known more people whose names begin with A than with any other letter, and it seemed like this would be a good way to test the theory. For the record, in case you are interested, my current calculations show that 18% of all of the people I’ve ever known have names beginning with the letter A. This is a significantly greater percentage that that of any other letter, although my calculations are likely a bit off; remembering the name every single person I’ve ever met is extremely complicated.)
This is exactly what I mean: How is it that I can find time for an activity such as the one mentioned above and still put off balancing my checkbook, which would take far less time and be much more constructive? Unfortunately, I really don’t have any sort of conclusion to this query of mine. Perhaps that’s why I wrote about it; it’s easier to write columns when you know you needn’t come to any solid ending. I suppose that’s why it’s easier for writers to bang out columns than it is for us to bang out novels.
Still. If anyone has any sort of insight on the procrastination issue, you’re welcome to let me know your ideas. Maybe I’ll give them a look-over the next time I’m avoiding seven months worth of unopened bank statements.