(no subject)
but anyway me and jeff broke up on megans b seen my mom witch sucks i worry about her all the time just wish i knew if she is okay im going to summer school so i can be a senior next year and get away from the high school drama hopefully jeffs mommy is still my mommy and there for me and im really thankful for that she has helped me alot so has amanda i basicully live with her is good cause i cant stand being home to manythings im not ready to deal with alone
today we got our awards for bowling and jeff got sad looking and said no he wanted it and i couldnt stay in there room i just started to cry i hate that i care so much still and then at the bowling ally he asked me to help him bring hes balls down and i just kept bolwing and i missed so he sayed thats what you get for not helping me so i asked him why should i help him he said cause you love me so i said oh really so he says well you said always will and i just wanted to start crying i hate when he dose that shit why dose he do that to me but im glad i have tj he makes me feel good about myself but im kinda scared to fall in love agian and tj says he wont hurt me and i want to believe it i really do but jeff said the same things and ever time tj says it scares me i cant get hurt agian i just couldnt do it im still not okay from my past and then what jeff did to me it hurts so bad like today im having one of my bad days i wish i could just forget it all but no matter how hard i try th wont happen because im always going to love him no matter who i spend the rest of my life with jeff will always be in the back of my mind and i hate to admit that but its th e truth but im lucky i have tj he is a extremly sweet guy and really cares and he makes me laugh non stop but ever once and awhile jeff pops in my head and i feel bad but i cant control it but im one step closer to i dont know what you would call it but im getting there well the cp is pissing me off damn laptops
today we got our awards for bowling and jeff got sad looking and said no he wanted it and i couldnt stay in there room i just started to cry i hate that i care so much still and then at the bowling ally he asked me to help him bring hes balls down and i just kept bolwing and i missed so he sayed thats what you get for not helping me so i asked him why should i help him he said cause you love me so i said oh really so he says well you said always will and i just wanted to start crying i hate when he dose that shit why dose he do that to me but im glad i have tj he makes me feel good about myself but im kinda scared to fall in love agian and tj says he wont hurt me and i want to believe it i really do but jeff said the same things and ever time tj says it scares me i cant get hurt agian i just couldnt do it im still not okay from my past and then what jeff did to me it hurts so bad like today im having one of my bad days i wish i could just forget it all but no matter how hard i try th wont happen because im always going to love him no matter who i spend the rest of my life with jeff will always be in the back of my mind and i hate to admit that but its th e truth but im lucky i have tj he is a extremly sweet guy and really cares and he makes me laugh non stop but ever once and awhile jeff pops in my head and i feel bad but i cant control it but im one step closer to i dont know what you would call it but im getting there well the cp is pissing me off damn laptops