Contemplation
so yeah--that music thing was a fat joke--the guy was a loser and wanted to jump to the glory and fun of performing without any of the work involved. I'm not really feelin that--especially because he SUCKS. He's only been singing for a year and he thinks he can take on Nashville.....I tried to tell him that taking a couple of classes never hurt anybody--[ive been studying for quite a while] and he jumped up in my face about it. So we're SO done. I dont have time for that. In the music world, you only get ONE shot, so if i am seen playing with this loser, that could blow my ONE shot. He's not worth it.
On to today---I'm still really confused--I'm thinking about transferring schools, my romantic life is all in the air, school is supposed to start in 2 weeks, and I have no idea what's going on. I feel kinda detached today--like i'm watching what im doing from the outside, if that makes any sense. I'm just running through my routine--but i'm aware that it's just a routine. I'm just moving from day to day, and I don't know whether or not i like my routine the way it is.
This is such a weird age--I wake up most mornings and I know what i have to do in a day, so i do it. But many times I sit up late at night and I feel a breeze moving past my face that seems to burst with the promise of some big change that's right over the horizon, just beyond my line of sight. So I attempt to sleep, wondering whether or not i will miss that change by falling into sleep, or if it's waiting for me on the other side of the sunrise. But I wake up the next morning, and nothing has changed. So I'm still waiting, but I don't know if i should be chasing something--if by staying still i'm going to miss it.
so that's why I stare out into space at dinner sometimes--cuz i'm wondering about that and about whether I'm in the right place, or if I'm a look away from where I really should be........
On to today---I'm still really confused--I'm thinking about transferring schools, my romantic life is all in the air, school is supposed to start in 2 weeks, and I have no idea what's going on. I feel kinda detached today--like i'm watching what im doing from the outside, if that makes any sense. I'm just running through my routine--but i'm aware that it's just a routine. I'm just moving from day to day, and I don't know whether or not i like my routine the way it is.
This is such a weird age--I wake up most mornings and I know what i have to do in a day, so i do it. But many times I sit up late at night and I feel a breeze moving past my face that seems to burst with the promise of some big change that's right over the horizon, just beyond my line of sight. So I attempt to sleep, wondering whether or not i will miss that change by falling into sleep, or if it's waiting for me on the other side of the sunrise. But I wake up the next morning, and nothing has changed. So I'm still waiting, but I don't know if i should be chasing something--if by staying still i'm going to miss it.
so that's why I stare out into space at dinner sometimes--cuz i'm wondering about that and about whether I'm in the right place, or if I'm a look away from where I really should be........