(no subject)
Two weeks? oh, did plans change or something because it is about 4 days short of two weeks. Whatever, way to put me in a fabulous mood. I wonder if we will actually hang out, that might be strange. I doubt we will but sincerely hope that we do.
I am trying to be chill, trying to just go with things and brush off my feelings. But I really don't think I am okay with never seeing you again. I think that I love you15. But of course this is not going to work, for you. If I wasn't going to college I would just go and live where ever you went, that might sound crazy, but I really don't think so.
So I enjoyed how we didn't hang out after dinner tonight. Remember how I called to make plans and you were like 'oh, we'll just talk about it then' and I thought to myself...yeah okay, we'll see but I doubt it. Well, I had high hopes, then we walked out and you didn't even subtrupkin say goodnight let alone hang out with me. This is when it hit me, as I turned away I was so sad. It was kind of a combination of things; sandy, us not hanging out tonight, knowing that I am leaving and won't be seeing you anymore, and daniel. I had a very nice sad moment.
I have since realized that it was a very nice night, you paid me a lot of attention during dinner so that made me feel nice. You are so funny, and gorgeous. I just really want to see you more, but I doubt I will see you nearly as much as I would like. hah, I wonder if I will drive back in a week just in hopes of seeing you, that would be pathetic. Why don't you just go home, it is so close to portland.
Anyway, I will post some pictures of our dinner at Carlos later, I don't feel like doing it now. So many people showed up, I felt so special. Even though it wasn't supposed to be my going away party it pretty much was which means that all those people wanted to come see me, awww. Dave is so freaking awesome.
My right cheek is so swollen, it looks funny. This morning I did not see how I was going to give tours because it hurt to talk loud, but I think I will be okay. I hope my candel light doesn't go...