Missing Him <3
ok so i told this guy, that i knew for a year to fuck off basically. i thought i didn't have feelings for him, you know, he just didn't seem like anything special. but now everytime i log onto myspace i check to see if he's on, i actually take the time to read his blogs, they are long but i still take the time and read them. i think there is something about him that attracts me to him, but why?? he doesn't have feelings for me what's so ever. i betrayed him in a way and he has every reason to hate me, but i still think about him. i wonder to myself on how he is doing. at times i wish that i could go back in time and fix what i messed up. it doesn't make any sense to me at all. i sometimes dream of him, but why? is there a piece of me that actually loves this person?? i want to tell him how i feel, but he won't read it, i know he won't. he hates me now, and i don't want him to. i want us to talk again. i want us to have the fun that we used to have. this sucks! why is it that i fuck up the most important relationships to me. that's why i liked were i was when highschool started. i was the shy gone unnoticed girl. no one noticed me and i was in my own "shell" now, half way through the school year i decided to open up and as soon as i did boom all these people hate me A LOT of drama was bought back into my life. i built strong relationships and now i ruined them. IT HURTS! i'm a sensitive person and when people use strong words or show that they don't care, i get offended and get hurt. i notice that i get hurt A LOT just within one day. why?