(no subject)
I HATE THIS, I HATE HAVING TO SIT THERE AND GRIT MY TEETH AND ACT LIKE NONE OF ITS AFFECTING ME, EVEN WHEN ITS KILLING ME INSIDE. I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO, EVERYONE IS TOO ABSORBED IN THERE OWN WORLD AND IM SO USED TO ACTING LIKE
NOTHINGS HAPPENING THAT I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WOULD TALK TO SOMEONE. MY PARENTS ARE BEING BITCHY AGAIN. I HEARD THEY WANT TO BRING MY BROTHER HOME AND THATS LIKE COMPLETELY THE WORST THING FOR HIM BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO BE FINALLY GAINING A LIFE WHERE HE IS AND IF HE COMES BACK HE'LL TURN INTO A BURNOUT THAT LOSES HIS FUTURE TO DRUGS AND CANT GET THROUGH COMMUTING COLLEGE. I HATE HAVING TO FACE EVERYTHING ALONE... DURING REHEARSAL TODAY I WANTED TO BURST INTO TEARS BUT I HAD TO BE "PROFESSIONAL" IM DREADING SATURDAY, NOT BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO GO BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT I KNOW I WILL HAVE TO WITNESS AND I KNOW I WILL SLOWLY DISSIPATE TO THE BACK OF THE CROWD BECAUSE THE QUEEN OF ALL BITCHY DIVAS WILL BE THERE. . . UGH SHE MAKES ME WANT TO GAG. . .PROFESSIONAL MY ASS
NOTHINGS HAPPENING THAT I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WOULD TALK TO SOMEONE. MY PARENTS ARE BEING BITCHY AGAIN. I HEARD THEY WANT TO BRING MY BROTHER HOME AND THATS LIKE COMPLETELY THE WORST THING FOR HIM BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO BE FINALLY GAINING A LIFE WHERE HE IS AND IF HE COMES BACK HE'LL TURN INTO A BURNOUT THAT LOSES HIS FUTURE TO DRUGS AND CANT GET THROUGH COMMUTING COLLEGE. I HATE HAVING TO FACE EVERYTHING ALONE... DURING REHEARSAL TODAY I WANTED TO BURST INTO TEARS BUT I HAD TO BE "PROFESSIONAL" IM DREADING SATURDAY, NOT BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO GO BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT I KNOW I WILL HAVE TO WITNESS AND I KNOW I WILL SLOWLY DISSIPATE TO THE BACK OF THE CROWD BECAUSE THE QUEEN OF ALL BITCHY DIVAS WILL BE THERE. . . UGH SHE MAKES ME WANT TO GAG. . .PROFESSIONAL MY ASS