My own worst fears.. are sprouting in my mind

[6bio6hazzard6]

yea... ever since stepha came home we havent been seperated for more than 36 hours..... hahah amber slept at stephas 2 nights it was interesting. its wierd when ambers around we dont talk but when its just me and stepha.... we talk more. im stressing myself out... im not use to a normal sleep schedule... and not worrking out l ike i do. and its a nnoying. i kinda wanna go home and be my normal self. but im afraid the firsst few days might drive me crazy. even though i have my licence i still have this bogus list of restrictins. its pissing me off... i fieel like im on a choke chain. im so sick of it. i dont want to smother... which is exactly whats happening. i wanna go out and LIVE something i really ahvent done. im sick of living in this little box. im sick of being in a christian school. sick of ac. sick of every body. me and stepha had a heart to heart talk and we realized how much hate has grown in our heart for every body and every thing. and how ouit past experiencess still hold us back. and how our insecurites are our own versions of choke chains. i want to break all my ties with everybody and everything. i want to start anew. i want to leave everybody. excpt for stepha. im even willing to leave valo and rache. and... possibly ash. i just need to get away.
on another note. yesterday was a very unpleasnt day. sleeping. then working out. i have no more staminia. then blue bayou..very unpleasnt place. then war of the worlds. very unpleasnt movie. then the jacket. veyr unpleasnt. then turned to a really nice bittersweet thing. then yea. sleep. wiht wierd vibes....
this summer in general is grrr.