(no subject)
I have been thinking far too much lately. In two weeks it will be three years for me and the boy. It's really exciting but in some ways it is almost painful to look back on these past three years. Things have gotten rocky quite a bit for us, and typically or silly things, especially with certain people. I hate thinking about that first spring, those stupid rides on the softball bus. It could've ruined everything. I'm glad it didn't, it would've been life changing for me. EVERYTHING would be different for me now if things would have went the other route. So many painful memories, but, lucky for us, the good outweighs the bad. I wish I wouldn't think about these things so much. I will never be able to understand how people can just forget. I can never forget. I will never forget. It is completely impossible for me to forget all of the bad times this relationship has had. Hopefully there wont be ones as bad in the future, but that is pretty much improbable. I need to stop thinking of my past and people of my past, especially the ones whom I don't/can't talk to anymore. It's ridiculous that I dwell on people who I wont talk to ever again unless something completely strange occurs. The thing that is ever more strange is thinking about how these people used to be some of my best friends and the people who were easiest to confide in. Now Dougie has replaced them all. Not that I am complaining. He is the best friend I could ever have and will ever have. He is amazing to me and I could never thank him enough for it. As I am getting absurdly emotional, I suppose I'll stop now.