Another Crazy Cat Story
So a few nights ago I was standing in front of the can, fully occupied with what Bill Cosby once1 called "doing God's work." Weary after yet another hard day of lecture-writing, I was also pretty much zoned out-until Yuki, without the slightest warning, suddenly leapt up onto my shoulder. Under normal circumstances I would have marveled at her athleticism. Under these circumstances, however, it was all I could do to keep my aim true.
If she had been content merely to survey her domain from her lefty perch, I'd have had no problem. But this crazy cat, stricken with a terminal lapse of judgment, promptly reached waaaay up from my left shoulder, stretched her forelegs as far out as possible, and hooked eight claws securely around the top edge of the shower stall. So there I was, still doing God's work, but now with a yard-long, parabolic arc of cat suspended between my shoulder and the shower.
Cosby also noted, quite correctly, that it is very difficult do cut off God's work-at least without sustaining internal injuries. Once fully committed, one must see it through to the end. Yet I had to do something, and quickly: I could feel Yuki-chan bunching her muscles as she mentally worked through her options2, and I could see no resolution to the present situation that didn't involve rapier-sharp claws digging deeply into tender human flesh3. I quickly reached back with my left hand and in one smooth motion, flipped her over my head to land, feet first, on the counter next to the sink. And I didn't spill a drop.
I'm still proud of myself for acting so quickly and effectively. Now if only I could wise up enough not to let the damn cats in the bathroom in the first place.
________________________
1In the routine "Wallie, Wallie," first released on the album For Adults Only in 1971, but now extant only on The Best of Bill Cosby: the Millennium Collection.
2This is the feline equivalent of moving your lips while reading. I'm just happy she telegraphed her intentions so that I could act before she did.
3We keep our cats' foreclaws clipped to reasonably nonlethal dullness, but their rear claws-behind which I could expect Yuki to put her full weight-stay sharp.
If she had been content merely to survey her domain from her lefty perch, I'd have had no problem. But this crazy cat, stricken with a terminal lapse of judgment, promptly reached waaaay up from my left shoulder, stretched her forelegs as far out as possible, and hooked eight claws securely around the top edge of the shower stall. So there I was, still doing God's work, but now with a yard-long, parabolic arc of cat suspended between my shoulder and the shower.
Cosby also noted, quite correctly, that it is very difficult do cut off God's work-at least without sustaining internal injuries. Once fully committed, one must see it through to the end. Yet I had to do something, and quickly: I could feel Yuki-chan bunching her muscles as she mentally worked through her options2, and I could see no resolution to the present situation that didn't involve rapier-sharp claws digging deeply into tender human flesh3. I quickly reached back with my left hand and in one smooth motion, flipped her over my head to land, feet first, on the counter next to the sink. And I didn't spill a drop.
I'm still proud of myself for acting so quickly and effectively. Now if only I could wise up enough not to let the damn cats in the bathroom in the first place.
________________________
1In the routine "Wallie, Wallie," first released on the album For Adults Only in 1971, but now extant only on The Best of Bill Cosby: the Millennium Collection.
2This is the feline equivalent of moving your lips while reading. I'm just happy she telegraphed her intentions so that I could act before she did.
3We keep our cats' foreclaws clipped to reasonably nonlethal dullness, but their rear claws-behind which I could expect Yuki to put her full weight-stay sharp.