guility pleasures
There’s something that I’d always wanted, however I never thought that I’d get the chance to have and then my luck struck and I had it once but I lost it. I was fine for a while without it, until I longed for it again like a girl addicted to her chocolate, but now I have it again I can’t get enough… at times. Other times I’m fine, with going a week or two without, sure there are times I need/want that next piece however there are always things getting in the way of getting it without the guilt afterwards?
I don’t know how to get my next want, and not deal with the pain I’m causing myself in order to do it. There is this drug within me and I’m killing myself every time I do it and all I can do is blame myself. I am continuing to put this drug through my veins causing myself to hurt and the one thing that I, being female, can’t live without… that one love of ours, our ‘chocolate’.
So how do I enjoy my chocolate, without the drug side effects? Quit chocolate? Get rid of the drug, though knowing that I’ll have the want of the fix again, and I’m weak I’ll give in? Or do my best to love the chocolate while I have it, and work with the drug as best as I can until it goes fully away, as long as the chocolate will work with it and myself as best it can?
The chocolate is my pleasure. The drug is my guilt.
Just which one will get the better of me?