Baby Are You Down Down Down Down Down
Christmas was the one time of year that Blair Waldorf truly cherished with all of her icy heart. It was the one time of the year where she would be friendly and nice, with no expectations and no hidden motives. Or at least, that is what she led everyone to believe. After all, she would never have become the Queen B of the Upper East Side if she were genuinely sweet.
But this year, things were different. Everything had changed so drastically in the span of a few months that Blair was left wondering just where she stood, not in the social hierarchy of Constance Billard but in life.
And so, despite being at the party of the winter, dressed to kill, she stood, alone and cold, on the terrace looking out into the busy night. Her thoughts flew every which way, and she made no move to organise or gather them. They would only tell her what she already knew. Blair Waldorf had fallen so far from grace that she had trouble looking into the mirror. Not that she would tell anyone that.
The sound of the door opening startled her, and she whirled around, eyes wide and hand poised to throw the drink she was holding into the offender’s face. Her shocked eyes locked with his equally stunned ones.
“Whoa, easy there Princess,” he held his hands up, glancing down at the drink in her frozen hand. “It’s a rental.”
She dropped her gaze to the offending item and flushed slightly. “Right,” she murmured before pulling herself together. She was Blair Waldorf, for crying out loud, and no matter what she thought of herself, what she felt, she had an image and she would be damned if it came crumbling down in front of Dan Humphrey of all people. She pushed the nagging voice at the back of her head telling her it would not be the first time away scornfully. She could handle the Brooklynite.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her tone frosty, much more like her usual self. Dan gave a half-smirk.
“Apparently running into you,” he replied. “The question is, what is Blair Waldorf doing alone at a party like this?” He raised an eyebrow, almost in challenge.
Blair knew what he expected. The same war of heated words and spiteful remarks that always occurred when the two of them were in the same room together, and she had a reply on the tip of her tongue. But instead, she found herself releasing a soft sigh and turning back around to face the dark. She was almost a little disappointed when she heard the door click shut and closed her eyes to swallow the fact that he had left. Just like everyone else had trickled out of her lives, Dan Humphrey had left her alone. She wondered why that left her feeling empty inside. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she thought the dynamics between them had changed after high school, but it seemed she was wrong. She was wrong about a lot of things these days.
She was more than a little surprised therefore when she felt the soft fabric of a jacket being laid gently over her shoulders. She looked up, and met Dan’s eyes again. He shrugged slightly.
“You looked cold,” he explained, leaning against the railing and tearing his eyes away from her. “And like you could use some company.” He avoided her searching look.
Blair was not sure what she was looking for. Dan was not the kind of guy who would play tricks or manipulate people to get something. No, Dan Humphrey had too strong a moral compass for that. But she kept staring at him, at the way his white shirt stretched across his chest emphasising a body she did not know he had, at the way the breeze ruffled the dark hair he had grown out in college and messed it up. She had the strangest urge to reach up and flatten it. Stop it, she reminded herself, this was Dan Humphrey, from Brooklyn. This was Cabbage Patch, Serena’s annoying ex-boyfriend.
“Why are you here?” Her question was softer this time. There was no edge to her words, no bite, just curiousity. Why was Dan Humphrey out on a terrace with a girl he could not stand on Christmas Eve?
“The same reason you are,” his deep voice was equally as soft. He was afraid of disturbing the peace that had descended upon them. A mutual truce had occurred in the span of less than ten minutes, and there was a fear on both sides that it would evaporate as soon as it had happened. Blair found that she did not want Dan to leave, not yet. It was comfortable having him at her side, both silent. They did not need words. The silence was not awkward, like it would have been with Chuck for Blair, or Serena for Dan. It was reassuring, and simple.
“Do you ever feel like you are not who you want to be?” Surprisingly, it was Dan who posed the question. “Like you were meant for more, and the people around you don’t get that.”
Blair nodded once, brushing a stray curl out of her face. The updo her hair was in was more trouble than it was worth. “All the time,” she replied. “It feels like no one understands, and you have to walk around with a mask, a facade, so people won’t see who you really are, and shun you for it.”
Dan chuckled, “Exactly.” He shook his head. “Why do people have to conform? Why do we have to hide who we are?”
“Acceptance,” Blair bit her lip. “We want to belong somewhere, we want people to love us. So we mould ourselves to fit their views.”
“Shouldn’t they love us for who we are?” Dan sighed. “Why can’t they just accept us the way we are?” There was a weary note to his question, because he already knew the answer to that. So Blair did not respond and let the silence engulf them again.
A sudden gust of cool air had Blair tugging the coat tighter around her. She inhaled Dan’s scent almost involuntarily. Something had changed between them. She caught Dan looking at her from the corner of her eye.
“What?” she asked, ready to be on the defensive.
Dan just shook his head. “Princess, you don’t need any masks around me.” He smirked, and Blair would have found his next words insulting and spiteful if she had not caught the amusement and playfulness in his eyes. “I’ve seen you at your worst.”
Blair rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Cabbage Patch,” she drawled. “Or the world will find out about Cedric.”
He laughed, short but real, his face all but glowing and Blair felt herself warm. It was a nice feeling, and she vowed to hear that laugh again sometime.
“Shall we?” He held out an arm for her and she let herself beam up at him. There were no pretences between them, no airs. She slipped her arm through his and he guided her through the glass doors and into the ballroom.
Spotted: Queen B and Lonely Boy in deep conversation at the annual Christmas Ball. I don’t know about you but I smell a scandal. And you know I love a good story. What is going on between B and D? I’m going to find out.
xoxo
Gossip Girl
Did it live up to the sneak peek? Merry Christmas Adam. Hope you like it!