(no subject)
I am single again.
It wasn't a rough break up. Probably because it wasn't a relationship worthy of a rough break up. If there is a fight, there is a feeling. I guess in this case, there was nothing worth fighting for. I don't blame her, but I don't blame myself, either. It just died, buried under the boredom and the absence of chemistry.
It is to my complete lack of surprise, however, that I find not having a partner a thousand times more exciting than being in a relationship.
It's not you, it's me. No, really. It's my incapability of committing to a one partner, without the overwhelming sensation that I am missing out on something, or that I have to watch myself, and what I do, and what I say, and who I talk to...almost as if having a partner is a burden, in oppose of a pleasure.
I am too picky, but I refuse to settle with someone who I am not absolutely, positively mad about! I can't bear the idea of wasting another pair of full moon cycles with someone incapable of making me feel like an apprentice, in awe of his intellectual, but also his aesthetics.
I guess it's not time.It will never be time.I can deal with that.
I can deal with that.
It wasn't a rough break up. Probably because it wasn't a relationship worthy of a rough break up. If there is a fight, there is a feeling. I guess in this case, there was nothing worth fighting for. I don't blame her, but I don't blame myself, either. It just died, buried under the boredom and the absence of chemistry.
It is to my complete lack of surprise, however, that I find not having a partner a thousand times more exciting than being in a relationship.
It's not you, it's me. No, really. It's my incapability of committing to a one partner, without the overwhelming sensation that I am missing out on something, or that I have to watch myself, and what I do, and what I say, and who I talk to...almost as if having a partner is a burden, in oppose of a pleasure.
I am too picky, but I refuse to settle with someone who I am not absolutely, positively mad about! I can't bear the idea of wasting another pair of full moon cycles with someone incapable of making me feel like an apprentice, in awe of his intellectual, but also his aesthetics.
I guess it's not time.It will never be time.I can deal with that.
I can deal with that.