Things to know about me before you add me
I am a joy zealot. Joy is AMAZING and there is not enough of it in the world. I will chose joy over drama every day. I will chose joy over pain when I can. I will drag as many people towards joy as will allow me too. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Life's Little Instruction Book sez:
"Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know."
I am happily married, and not poly. Also not bigoted, homophobic or anti-poly. (Just too selfish to share, and really really happy with my husband!)
I make relationship choices in real life and in LiveJournal based on what is healthy for me. This is not a reflection on you or on anyone else. We all have types of people who are good for us, personally, or bad for us, personally, and that does not make those people (or us) good or bad.
Mushrooms are bad for me; they make me throw up.
That doesn't make mushrooms bad.
That doesn't make me bad.
It makes mushrooms bad for me. (And probably me bad for mushrooms.)
I am not afraid of the delete button/function/key. I am also not button happy. I'll try to clarify, but if I feel that it cannot be clarified or fixed, it will be removed.
Disagreements happen. Sometimes they are simple misunderstandings that can be clarified. Sometimes not. It is my belief that the adult way to communicate is by trying to clarify and trying to understand. This requires work. It requires patience, and sometime perseverance. Yelling "You're a stupid poopy head, don't ever talk to me again," or other forms of ad hominem are not examples of an adult conversation. You lose. You've proven you are unable or unwilling to communicate like an adult. It's that simple.
I do not dwell on bad things or experiences, and subsequently will not tolerate being reminded of them persistantly. If it hurts me, it's not healthy; if it's not healthy for me, it's outta here.
I don't debate politics, religion, and I will not participate in the gun debate. Those things get deleted without clarification. (If you want to know my views: I am fiscally responsible, socially liberal, and a registered Independent. I am a Irish American Pagan Quaker Hippy with Jewish and Navajo tendancies. I have been a vegetarian 98% of my life. I believe in Love above gender, race, religion, sexual preference, and legislating Love is stupid, IMNSHO. I think handguns are only for killing people, and a gun as self defense is an illusion of safety that could easily get the wrong people hurt.) I will discuss, I will not debate. Your views are yours, and therefore valid. My views are mine, and equally valid. Most importantly, there is no need to be rude or name call if our views differ...I'm really sick of nasty mean-spirited bumper stickers.
If I get pushed, I will ask that the pushing stop.
If the pushing does not stop, I will delete.
The alternative is that I push back, and I tend to push pretty fucking hard if I feel extremely hurt, threatened, or abused. You probably don't ever want to push me that hard, so I'd suggest if you find yourself irritated with me that you remove yourself. Unless you can lay aside the irritation to have a true discussion with real empathy, and I will promise to do the same.
This applies to abuse or pushing of my loved ones as well.
I admit, I am not always easy. But I am always worth it.
Life's Little Instruction Book sez:
"Stop blaming others. Take responsibility in every aspect of your life."
Life's Little Instruction Book sez:
"Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know."
I am happily married, and not poly. Also not bigoted, homophobic or anti-poly. (Just too selfish to share, and really really happy with my husband!)
I make relationship choices in real life and in LiveJournal based on what is healthy for me. This is not a reflection on you or on anyone else. We all have types of people who are good for us, personally, or bad for us, personally, and that does not make those people (or us) good or bad.
Mushrooms are bad for me; they make me throw up.
That doesn't make mushrooms bad.
That doesn't make me bad.
It makes mushrooms bad for me. (And probably me bad for mushrooms.)
I am not afraid of the delete button/function/key. I am also not button happy. I'll try to clarify, but if I feel that it cannot be clarified or fixed, it will be removed.
Disagreements happen. Sometimes they are simple misunderstandings that can be clarified. Sometimes not. It is my belief that the adult way to communicate is by trying to clarify and trying to understand. This requires work. It requires patience, and sometime perseverance. Yelling "You're a stupid poopy head, don't ever talk to me again," or other forms of ad hominem are not examples of an adult conversation. You lose. You've proven you are unable or unwilling to communicate like an adult. It's that simple.
I do not dwell on bad things or experiences, and subsequently will not tolerate being reminded of them persistantly. If it hurts me, it's not healthy; if it's not healthy for me, it's outta here.
I don't debate politics, religion, and I will not participate in the gun debate. Those things get deleted without clarification. (If you want to know my views: I am fiscally responsible, socially liberal, and a registered Independent. I am a Irish American Pagan Quaker Hippy with Jewish and Navajo tendancies. I have been a vegetarian 98% of my life. I believe in Love above gender, race, religion, sexual preference, and legislating Love is stupid, IMNSHO. I think handguns are only for killing people, and a gun as self defense is an illusion of safety that could easily get the wrong people hurt.) I will discuss, I will not debate. Your views are yours, and therefore valid. My views are mine, and equally valid. Most importantly, there is no need to be rude or name call if our views differ...I'm really sick of nasty mean-spirited bumper stickers.
If I get pushed, I will ask that the pushing stop.
If the pushing does not stop, I will delete.
The alternative is that I push back, and I tend to push pretty fucking hard if I feel extremely hurt, threatened, or abused. You probably don't ever want to push me that hard, so I'd suggest if you find yourself irritated with me that you remove yourself. Unless you can lay aside the irritation to have a true discussion with real empathy, and I will promise to do the same.
This applies to abuse or pushing of my loved ones as well.
I admit, I am not always easy. But I am always worth it.
Life's Little Instruction Book sez:
"Stop blaming others. Take responsibility in every aspect of your life."