I'm Done
Now that the apathy has subsided for the most part...I'm just angry and grieving.
I can count how many people stopped by to see me. Alissa and Vikki. Alissa bought my meds, subway for everyone, waited in the hospital for me to come out of surgery, bought more pads and a couple of cute stuffed animals. Vikki stopped by and brought us flowers and felt bad that that was all. We tell them that they are amazing people and I deeply appreciate how much they've been trying.
I don't want to talk about it, I don't want people to dance around me, just phone call to check up or see if I wanted to hang out would've been nice versus silence. I've put others as my priority for a long time. So long that I can remember all the times I've been lectured about exhausting my efforts on others. I'm not saying people have to fucking kiss my feet and take me to dinner, I'm not trying to be in the lime light, I just want to know that people care and I want them to show me. When your friend's crying you hug him/her right?
Well, I guess all those people were right, not like I credited for my efforts anyways I just get bitched about when people disagree with my advice or what not. As if all the good qualities and things I've done dissappeared and all there is something you don't even need to care about. Even though I cared about everyone else so much and went out of my fucking way. I just wish I was some of my other friend's priorities.
My family cares, Skyler cares, Josh has been amazing as has Alissa and Vikki. Goodbye to everyone else. Fuck up your lives and fall-I'm not helping. I don't care about people's excuses because there isn't an excuse. If you were near by you could've come, if you heard you coud've called, props if you did both you're on the list of people above. Fuck everyone else.
I can count how many people stopped by to see me. Alissa and Vikki. Alissa bought my meds, subway for everyone, waited in the hospital for me to come out of surgery, bought more pads and a couple of cute stuffed animals. Vikki stopped by and brought us flowers and felt bad that that was all. We tell them that they are amazing people and I deeply appreciate how much they've been trying.
I don't want to talk about it, I don't want people to dance around me, just phone call to check up or see if I wanted to hang out would've been nice versus silence. I've put others as my priority for a long time. So long that I can remember all the times I've been lectured about exhausting my efforts on others. I'm not saying people have to fucking kiss my feet and take me to dinner, I'm not trying to be in the lime light, I just want to know that people care and I want them to show me. When your friend's crying you hug him/her right?
Well, I guess all those people were right, not like I credited for my efforts anyways I just get bitched about when people disagree with my advice or what not. As if all the good qualities and things I've done dissappeared and all there is something you don't even need to care about. Even though I cared about everyone else so much and went out of my fucking way. I just wish I was some of my other friend's priorities.
My family cares, Skyler cares, Josh has been amazing as has Alissa and Vikki. Goodbye to everyone else. Fuck up your lives and fall-I'm not helping. I don't care about people's excuses because there isn't an excuse. If you were near by you could've come, if you heard you coud've called, props if you did both you're on the list of people above. Fuck everyone else.