(no subject)
so as soon as jordan leaves i'll die. basically. not only will i miss him terribly but he's taking my bf with him which will = me being so lonely.. they'll have such an amazing time though.. i just have to look at the big picture and not be selfish by wanting them not to leave. the other day jordan and i were talking and he said i'm too old for highschool, i feel like thats so true. i know as soon as they leave i'll become the biggest hermit and be really crafty and nerdy and hopefully i'll try really hard to just see things through and get over my last year until freedom.
or maybe i'll jsut have to leave. everything. no i can't. i can do it. i will try my best. i'm capable of getting good grades adn actually applying myself to things. i can i can i can.
brutal honesty is becoming more and more appealing, i'm so sick of acting. (yes, i'll continue to be vague. this is lj ya know..) everything around me feels like a trap and i'm gonna go insane and explode if i don't do somthing about it, but really i don't see anything i can do to make things better.
all i want to do is breakdown and cry.. i havn't cried in so long i feel like i've lost the ability to. whatevs, it's not somthing i need to do anyway..
sarah's been driving my car and she said it stalled out a bunch of times and the engine is smoking. how awesome would it be if my car died before i even was able to drive it?
well i have to catch up a couple sections in math, write an essy outline and make a huge art project so i guess i'll go try to do that. too bad my head hurts so fucking bad and i'm unable to swallow.. maybe i should just go to bed.
or maybe i'll jsut have to leave. everything. no i can't. i can do it. i will try my best. i'm capable of getting good grades adn actually applying myself to things. i can i can i can.
brutal honesty is becoming more and more appealing, i'm so sick of acting. (yes, i'll continue to be vague. this is lj ya know..) everything around me feels like a trap and i'm gonna go insane and explode if i don't do somthing about it, but really i don't see anything i can do to make things better.
all i want to do is breakdown and cry.. i havn't cried in so long i feel like i've lost the ability to. whatevs, it's not somthing i need to do anyway..
sarah's been driving my car and she said it stalled out a bunch of times and the engine is smoking. how awesome would it be if my car died before i even was able to drive it?
well i have to catch up a couple sections in math, write an essy outline and make a huge art project so i guess i'll go try to do that. too bad my head hurts so fucking bad and i'm unable to swallow.. maybe i should just go to bed.