powder puffs
by dreamofthem
"You won't see a Man Utd player wearing a snood," Rio Ferdinand tweeted on Thursday, after Ferguson apparently instigated his ban and called snood wearers "cissies" and "powder puffs"
- The Independent, 'Powder puff' snood wearers get it in the neck from Ferguson, 11 December 2010
"Ando," Ferguson barked. "What the hell is around your neck?"
"It's keeping me warm," Anderson said.
"No scarves," said Ferguson, and he turned away.
"It’s not a scarf." Anderson widened his eyes at his boss, plaintively. "It’s a snood."
Ferguson raised his eyebrows. "I don't care if it’s a mink stole," he said, "it's got no place on my training ground. Get it off."
*
Maybe the boss was in a bad mood that day. Sometimes he was in a bad mood, and he always took it out on the players, never the staff. Taking issue with small, cross, petty things.
Once, he said that Evra’s pre-match playlist sounded like cats and dogs. Another time, he told off Chicha for putting five spoonfuls of sugar in his coffee, even though it was a standing joke with the Carrington canteen staff that Sir Alex took tea with his sugar.
So maybe, when Ferguson zeroed in on Anderson, jogging a little on the spot with his breath coming out in puffs of mist, chatting to Rio about how cold his house was, maybe he was just in a bad mood.
Whatever the reason, it didn't make Anderson feel any better.
*
Rio called a plumber for him, and Anderson's house was a lot warmer after that. Nani noticed it when he came over after training the next day. They were off to a hotel that evening in preparation for Arsenal at home, and Anderson had begged a ride off Nani. He hated navigating the narrow country lanes and crowded suburban streets at the best of times. In ice and fog he had no intention of even starting his car.
Nani looked over at Anderson as he buckled up in the passenger seat. "Are you ever going to get used to the cold?"
Anderson looked affronted. "I am used to it," he stressed, "I just don’t like it."
Nani shook his head, but he turned the heating up in the car.
*
Warming up on the pitch at Old Trafford, Anderson stood with his arms wrapped around his neck. Ferguson gave him a look, but thankfully said nothing.
Evra came leaping up behind him. "Come on, Ando," he said. "You’re never going to get warm standing still like that." But they'd done the majority of their warm-up, and Anderson was just watching as Valencia and Chicha tried to out-do each other on practice free kicks. Chicha sent three in a row into the top tier and laughed and laughed, catching on to Valencia's arm as he pointed out how high they'd gone. Valencia shoved him a little, laughing back.
Evra put his arms around Anderson’s neck, hugging him from behind, and Anderson laughed. "Thanks, Pat," he said, and Evra smiled against his shoulder. "No problem, my friend."
*
Anderson got subbed off in the eighty-fifth minute. He left the pitch at a jog, slapping Giggs' hands as they crossed over and accepting a pat on the back from Ferguson. Someone handed him his coat and he zipped it up all the way to his chin.
Chicharito smiled up at him as Anderson sat down. "Good game," he said, and Anderson grinned. "Here," Chicha said, producing something from inside his own coat. "Pat gave me this to give to you if you came off. To keep you warm."
It was Evra's practice hat. Anderson gave him a wide smile. "Thanks," he said, tugging it on over his own.
*
A couple of reporters wanted to ask them about the snoods after the match, but Anderson wasn't down for any press duties.
"I hope you told them we don't need them 'cause we’re hard,” Wes said in the changing room, and Rooney snorted.
"Is that why you're wearing long sleeves and gloves all match, Wes?"
Wes picked up his gloves and threw them at Rooney. "You can't talk," he said.
Rooney shrugged. "I'm not the one claiming to be a hard man," he said fairly.
"None of you have it as bad as our boy Ando over here," Evra broke in, reaching over to hook an arm around Anderson's shoulders and shaking him a little. "Poor kid's come all the way from Brazil." Anderson tipped his head onto Evra’s shoulder and made eyes at the crowing changing room.
"Rafael's from Brazil," Chris pointed out, "and he’s not complaining."
"Yes, but Ando’s sensitive," Evra said.
"Yeah, he’s delicate," Nani chimed in.
Anderson sat up, trying to push Evra off him, but Evra wouldn’t let go. He laughed as Anderson glared at him.
"Betrayal," he said, and Evra kissed his cheek.
"Never, my friend," he said. "I care only for your health and happiness."
On his other side, Nani snickered.
*
When he got home that evening, Anderson had three messages from Ronaldo on his phone. The first was just laughter, the second said two hats you wuss, and the third was just a picture of Ronaldo posing in t-shirt and shorts in front of his house, sunglasses on and mouth stretched wide in a smug grin.
Anderson called him back.
"I know for a fact that it isn't that warm in Madrid, you asshole," he said, and Ronaldo laughed and laughed in response.
"Poor baby," he said when he’d recovered. "The boss banning your scarves?"
"It wasn't just me," Anderson protested.
"I hear thermal underwear is pretty good," Ronaldo said, starting to laugh again, and Anderson hung up.
His house was cold: he had forgotten to change the settings and it had gone off at some point during the day. He had a fireplace but no wood and no idea of how to build a fire even if he had done.
He took two tours of the house, stopping each time in his room to consider just going straight to bed, then he picked up his phone again.
"Hello?"
"Pat - um."
"You okay, little brother?"
Anderson made a sad face at his reflection in his bedroom mirror. "I'm cold," he said.
"You want to come over for food? It’s warm here."
"Yes please."
Evra laughed. "Give me ten minutes," he said.
"You won't see a Man Utd player wearing a snood," Rio Ferdinand tweeted on Thursday, after Ferguson apparently instigated his ban and called snood wearers "cissies" and "powder puffs"
- The Independent, 'Powder puff' snood wearers get it in the neck from Ferguson, 11 December 2010
"Ando," Ferguson barked. "What the hell is around your neck?"
"It's keeping me warm," Anderson said.
"No scarves," said Ferguson, and he turned away.
"It’s not a scarf." Anderson widened his eyes at his boss, plaintively. "It’s a snood."
Ferguson raised his eyebrows. "I don't care if it’s a mink stole," he said, "it's got no place on my training ground. Get it off."
*
Maybe the boss was in a bad mood that day. Sometimes he was in a bad mood, and he always took it out on the players, never the staff. Taking issue with small, cross, petty things.
Once, he said that Evra’s pre-match playlist sounded like cats and dogs. Another time, he told off Chicha for putting five spoonfuls of sugar in his coffee, even though it was a standing joke with the Carrington canteen staff that Sir Alex took tea with his sugar.
So maybe, when Ferguson zeroed in on Anderson, jogging a little on the spot with his breath coming out in puffs of mist, chatting to Rio about how cold his house was, maybe he was just in a bad mood.
Whatever the reason, it didn't make Anderson feel any better.
*
Rio called a plumber for him, and Anderson's house was a lot warmer after that. Nani noticed it when he came over after training the next day. They were off to a hotel that evening in preparation for Arsenal at home, and Anderson had begged a ride off Nani. He hated navigating the narrow country lanes and crowded suburban streets at the best of times. In ice and fog he had no intention of even starting his car.
Nani looked over at Anderson as he buckled up in the passenger seat. "Are you ever going to get used to the cold?"
Anderson looked affronted. "I am used to it," he stressed, "I just don’t like it."
Nani shook his head, but he turned the heating up in the car.
*
Warming up on the pitch at Old Trafford, Anderson stood with his arms wrapped around his neck. Ferguson gave him a look, but thankfully said nothing.
Evra came leaping up behind him. "Come on, Ando," he said. "You’re never going to get warm standing still like that." But they'd done the majority of their warm-up, and Anderson was just watching as Valencia and Chicha tried to out-do each other on practice free kicks. Chicha sent three in a row into the top tier and laughed and laughed, catching on to Valencia's arm as he pointed out how high they'd gone. Valencia shoved him a little, laughing back.
Evra put his arms around Anderson’s neck, hugging him from behind, and Anderson laughed. "Thanks, Pat," he said, and Evra smiled against his shoulder. "No problem, my friend."
*
Anderson got subbed off in the eighty-fifth minute. He left the pitch at a jog, slapping Giggs' hands as they crossed over and accepting a pat on the back from Ferguson. Someone handed him his coat and he zipped it up all the way to his chin.
Chicharito smiled up at him as Anderson sat down. "Good game," he said, and Anderson grinned. "Here," Chicha said, producing something from inside his own coat. "Pat gave me this to give to you if you came off. To keep you warm."
It was Evra's practice hat. Anderson gave him a wide smile. "Thanks," he said, tugging it on over his own.
*
A couple of reporters wanted to ask them about the snoods after the match, but Anderson wasn't down for any press duties.
"I hope you told them we don't need them 'cause we’re hard,” Wes said in the changing room, and Rooney snorted.
"Is that why you're wearing long sleeves and gloves all match, Wes?"
Wes picked up his gloves and threw them at Rooney. "You can't talk," he said.
Rooney shrugged. "I'm not the one claiming to be a hard man," he said fairly.
"None of you have it as bad as our boy Ando over here," Evra broke in, reaching over to hook an arm around Anderson's shoulders and shaking him a little. "Poor kid's come all the way from Brazil." Anderson tipped his head onto Evra’s shoulder and made eyes at the crowing changing room.
"Rafael's from Brazil," Chris pointed out, "and he’s not complaining."
"Yes, but Ando’s sensitive," Evra said.
"Yeah, he’s delicate," Nani chimed in.
Anderson sat up, trying to push Evra off him, but Evra wouldn’t let go. He laughed as Anderson glared at him.
"Betrayal," he said, and Evra kissed his cheek.
"Never, my friend," he said. "I care only for your health and happiness."
On his other side, Nani snickered.
*
When he got home that evening, Anderson had three messages from Ronaldo on his phone. The first was just laughter, the second said two hats you wuss, and the third was just a picture of Ronaldo posing in t-shirt and shorts in front of his house, sunglasses on and mouth stretched wide in a smug grin.
Anderson called him back.
"I know for a fact that it isn't that warm in Madrid, you asshole," he said, and Ronaldo laughed and laughed in response.
"Poor baby," he said when he’d recovered. "The boss banning your scarves?"
"It wasn't just me," Anderson protested.
"I hear thermal underwear is pretty good," Ronaldo said, starting to laugh again, and Anderson hung up.
His house was cold: he had forgotten to change the settings and it had gone off at some point during the day. He had a fireplace but no wood and no idea of how to build a fire even if he had done.
He took two tours of the house, stopping each time in his room to consider just going straight to bed, then he picked up his phone again.
"Hello?"
"Pat - um."
"You okay, little brother?"
Anderson made a sad face at his reflection in his bedroom mirror. "I'm cold," he said.
"You want to come over for food? It’s warm here."
"Yes please."
Evra laughed. "Give me ten minutes," he said.