Because this is cornerflag, you deserve a real comment rather than manic keysmashing as per usual, so here goes.
Not that you don't know I think this already, but this story is just totally charming. Ji-Sung makes such an endearing POV character; his voice makes the story. Evra has a great magnetic presence, and of course Tevez makes the perfect foil. Even the cameo characters - Rooney and Giggs and You Know Who - have such great little characterizations sketched in a few lines. Actually, that applies generally: I love how you can encapsulate a complete romcom storyline in, what, three thousand words? without it seeming at rushed, and at the same time be funny, and adorably heartwarming, and everything! It's just really satisfying.
Okay now for some specific lines after all, because I can't help it.
Then the meeting starts, and Ev - and Patrice sits next to Ji-Sung, and spends the entire time drawing an elaborate picture of a horse giving a power point on his yellow legal pad. Ji-Sung leans over and adds a quick sketch of himself, asleep in
( ... )
I'm really glad you liked the cameo characters - I'm not really familiar with Man U, so it's a good thing I managed to make them at least recognizable. and I'm also really glad that I managed to pull this off in 3,000 words because I was worried about that, too.
um, so basically, thank you and also, all the Ruud/Cris is for you, obviously. I had to put it in.
Ji-Sung how so adorable, how how how? and Cristiano's not-so-doomed crush on Ruud (bringing in pastries so Ruud will lick his fingers, so sly, well done) and CARLOS and all the fooooooooooood, omg, I'm hungry now. and so fucking pleased beyond words that there is Park Ji-Sung/Patrice Evra fic in the world. ♥
you do so much in so little here, it's brilliant. it didn't feel rushed or hurried at all; it felt so much longer than it was. your characterizations are marvelous. your tevez was probably my favorite but really, i loved them all. fantastic work!
I know this is about Evra and Park but I really loved the way that you conveyed the relationship between Ruud and Cristiano with just a couple of images in a few lines as a complete sideline to the main story. It was wonderfully subtle and well done.
Comments 25
Not that you don't know I think this already, but this story is just totally charming. Ji-Sung makes such an endearing POV character; his voice makes the story. Evra has a great magnetic presence, and of course Tevez makes the perfect foil. Even the cameo characters - Rooney and Giggs and You Know Who - have such great little characterizations sketched in a few lines. Actually, that applies generally: I love how you can encapsulate a complete romcom storyline in, what, three thousand words? without it seeming at rushed, and at the same time be funny, and adorably heartwarming, and everything! It's just really satisfying.
Okay now for some specific lines after all, because I can't help it.
Then the meeting starts, and Ev - and Patrice sits next to Ji-Sung, and spends the entire time drawing an elaborate picture of a horse giving a power point on his yellow legal pad. Ji-Sung leans over and adds a quick sketch of himself, asleep in ( ... )
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I'm really glad you liked the cameo characters - I'm not really familiar with Man U, so it's a good thing I managed to make them at least recognizable. and I'm also really glad that I managed to pull this off in 3,000 words because I was worried about that, too.
um, so basically, thank you and also, all the Ruud/Cris is for you, obviously. I had to put it in.
Reply
Ji-Sung how so adorable, how how how? and Cristiano's not-so-doomed crush on Ruud (bringing in pastries so Ruud will lick his fingers, so sly, well done) and CARLOS and all the fooooooooooood, omg, I'm hungry now. and so fucking pleased beyond words that there is Park Ji-Sung/Patrice Evra fic in the world. ♥
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but thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing this, and am glad that now, finally, Park/Evra fic exists.
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