King Kenny and the Fishbies
by lastboathome
"This is not an airborne disease; this is not even a disease that we have confirmed spreads via contact with other infected people. For that reason I ask that everyone remain calm, and avoid inciting panic. Centres for Disease Control and Prevention are dealing with reports of infection in a capable and thoroughly effective manner," said David Cameron. He waited for the signal, and then removed his clip-on mic and got up from the table.
"Maybe everyone will buy that," piped up an intern from behind the camera. Silly child. David hoped to himself that he wasn't part of the entourage that was about to set out for his bunker - that kind of blind, doe-eyed optimism would grow wearisome within hours.
"Of course they will, what reason have they got not to?" David motioned to an aide, and they swept silently out of the room.
Jamie Carragher turns off the television, and swears. His two Spanish exchange student guests, Luis Garcia and Fernando Torres, barely flinch (unlike a week ago, when Luis' eyes would have widened comically).
"My grandmother said that the disease comes from the sea; that eating fish that have been swimming around in dirty polluted water has made people's minds waste away," Luis pipes up. Jamie doesn't know how the boy's grandmother seems to always have an opinion about everything and how Luis knows of all these opinions.
"Is it much worse there?" Jamie asks.
"The fishpeople are starting to ruin everything, society is crumbling like a cookie," replies Luis. "The government can't control anything. People are heading east as fast as they can. They say the infected people want nothing but to eat people who haven't got sick yet. Their flesh is dead, and the only thing that stops them is destroying their brains."
"They sound like zombies, not fishmen or whatever your lot are calling them," Jamie points out. Trust Luis to have a wacky name for zombies.
"Maybe - but how do you explain the fish sickness? They're like fishpeople who are zombies. I think I will call them zombpeople. Or fishbies."
Jamie rolls his eyes, and looks over at Fernando for some back-up - but he realises he won't be getting any because the lanky fellow is busy texting.
"I'm bored. Let's go kick a ball around or something," Luis is already standing by the door with a football in his hands. Jamie gets up, and gives Fernando a light slap around the back of his head to get him moving.
That night, Jamie has the most important dream of his life. He thinks it is just a dream, but will come to realise in time that it is a prophecy that will save an entire generation. He dreams of a man with shaggy brown hair and a thick Scottish brogue. This man helps the weary weather the fight against the invading undead, and reinvigorates the flagging masses. He comes as a saviour and creates a bastion of hope and strength to weather the storm.
This man's name is Kenny.
The following morning, Jamie makes the mistake of mentioning his slightly odd dream to Luis and Fernando over breakfast.
"But what if it was a sign? You can't just ignore it!" Luis' voice is getting increasingly high-pitched; Jamie struggles to choke back a giggle.
"It was just a dream, I highly doubt a Scottish regent is going to swoop in and save us all from people sick with fish disease. That's what I get for going to bed right after watching the news," Jamie tries to explain.
"You don't know how dangerous it is to refuse to heed dream warnings! My grandmother once had a dream about potted plants falling out of the sky onto our neighbour's mailbox - she thought nothing of it but two days later the man was killed when his baby bougainvillea planter detached from his gutter and broke his skull." Luis' face was deathly serious. "We have to find King Kenny! He could prevent the coming of the fishbies! Or the zombpeople."
"I'd rather drive my sheep through the centre of town, to be honest, Luis."
"Well you don't have any sheep so you might as well come with me. Fernando too. Or I'm telling everyone that you've been a bad exchange host." Luis smirks, and looks entirely too proud of himself.
Jamie can't think of anything better to do, and he's worried that if Luis gets any more worried he will fill up with hot air and float away like a helium balloon.
"Alright. Where do you suggest we go to look for this elusive Scottish king?"
Luis decrees that their first stop should be the local university's psychology department, where the head of department is apparently a skilled hand at dream interpetration. Jamie isn't quite certain where Luis heard this but at this point has learned that's it a lot easier (and more peaceful) to just go along for the ride. Their trip there is uneventful, but the streets are emptier than they should be. Jamie doesn't think much of it.
When they reach the psychology department Luis ducks into the first lecture theatre they come across. Jamie is highly doubtful this plan has been given any thought at all by little Luis. Their clumsy entrance (and Fernando's letting the door slam shut behind him) makes everyone in the lecture theatre turn around gape at them. Jamie opens his mouth to begin explaining but the lights cut out before he can get a word out.
"It's probably fishpeople!" Luis hisses at him, and drags them right into the middle of the lecture theatre after shoving a chair up against the door handle. The students start stirring, and someone claps their hands before jokingly apologising for breaking the clap-activated lights.
"Professor! Who is King Kenny?" Jamie yells, figuring he doesn't have much time.
"Double K! All across the sky! But what does it mean, what does it mean," answers a voice from the front of the room.
"Luis I am going to murder you," Jamie mutters. The pounding on the doors grows louder, and the students start to sound mildly alarmed.
"King Kenny! Double K! He has come!" The voice is presumably the once-psychologically stable professor growing agitated.
A pool of light spills into the lecture theatre as the fishpeople finally manage to break through the doors. Luis plants his feet and pulls a couple of pistol-like things from within his jacket - Jamie has got no time to be surprised, because he's busy grabbing a student's ring binder from underneath their folded arms.
"What does that mean, Professor?" Jamie yells, hoping to get a coherent reply.
"Only Rabblerouser Rafa can help you now! You have been chosen to seek out the King!"
Jamie is busy trying to look for the emergency exit when Fernando gasps. He's standing rooted to the spot, pointing at the professor - or rather the body that used to be the professor, considering the zombies that are attempting to feast on his face. The three boys join the riot of students trying to make a hasty exit, Jamie batting away fishpeople with the stolen ring binder and Luis squirting zombies in the face from afar (upon later inquiry Jamie will learn that it was his grandmother's theory that since the fishpeople are from the water feeling water on their faces will calm their voracious appetites). Their departure is also impeded by the throng of hormonal university students clinging to Fernando's cheekbones but considering the boy hasn't armed himself they serve as a human buffer between him and the zombies.
Once they've fought their way out of the lecture theatre the boys leg it to a deserted alleyway, where they try to re-evaluate their options. Despite the slightly odd-sounding advice they received from the professor (right before he was eaten) Jamie feels Rabblerouser Rafa is someone worth paying a visit to, especially in a time of crisis. He heads for the first recycle bin pile he spots and starts digging through them, hoping that someone's decided they don't need their copy of the Yellow Pages anymore.
Luis starts quizzically at him for a moment before holstering his water pistols and stalking over to Fernando - who is currently attempting to fix his hair in the reflection of his iPhone. He rips it out of his delicate hands, and a few moments later exclaims triumphantly: "I have found Rabblerouser Rafa! He is only two miles away."
Jamie tries not to look impressed, and swaps his slightly moist ring binder for a plank of wood with several imposing looking nails embedded in one of its ends.
"Good, you can lead the way," Jamie picks up his plank, and gives it an experimental swing. This should be an interesting couple of miles, and hopefully an even more interesting visit.
A couple of hours later, the boys find themselves sitting on the couch of a portly, older gentleman with a prosperous belly, who calls himself Rafa. He delivers the answer they seek within minutes.
"King Kenny - I have not heard that name in years. He will definitely be doing something to rescue this horrible situation. You boys need to get to Merseyside. And I need to get going as well, so once you finish your tea please see yourselves out and good luck," Rafa stands up and removes his robe to reveal that he is wearing a karate gi with a sword hanging off his side.
Jamie has never seen Luis' eyes go so wide.
They stammer their thanks and watch as Rafa kicks his door open and jumps out while thrusting his sword (presumably into a lurking zombie's unlucky neck).
"Merseyside it is. Reckon the trains are still running?"
The boys savour the uneventful journey from Rafa's place to Merseyside. Jamie suspects it is because the older man cleared their way for them, but cannot presume to know anything about him or what he may have done.
They stand outside high gates, and are considering entering when a man emerges from within the complex behind the gates and yells at them to either get in or stop loitering like zombie bait. Luis immediately heads for the gate while Jamie tries to connect the piercing yell they are hearing with the soothing voice King Kenny had in his dream, and squints to try to make out the man's face.
Luis and Jamie hurry in, but Fernando dawdles outside the gate.
He finally pipes up, "I don't know about this place."
Jamie stares at him like he has gone insane.
"I'm just going to go with this man instead," Fernando says, pointing at a smirking gentleman who had appeared out of nowhere. "He seems more likely to survive this."
"I'm Roman, and I will take good care of you Fernando!" The man grins, and looks slightly hungry. Fernando takes his hand and they skip away.
Luis makes a disgusted face. Jamie gladly shuts the gate behind the both of them. He turns to Luis, and whispers, "That's King Kenny over there. We're in safe hands now."
They both grin beatifically, and walk towards the man.
"This is not an airborne disease; this is not even a disease that we have confirmed spreads via contact with other infected people. For that reason I ask that everyone remain calm, and avoid inciting panic. Centres for Disease Control and Prevention are dealing with reports of infection in a capable and thoroughly effective manner," said David Cameron. He waited for the signal, and then removed his clip-on mic and got up from the table.
"Maybe everyone will buy that," piped up an intern from behind the camera. Silly child. David hoped to himself that he wasn't part of the entourage that was about to set out for his bunker - that kind of blind, doe-eyed optimism would grow wearisome within hours.
"Of course they will, what reason have they got not to?" David motioned to an aide, and they swept silently out of the room.
Jamie Carragher turns off the television, and swears. His two Spanish exchange student guests, Luis Garcia and Fernando Torres, barely flinch (unlike a week ago, when Luis' eyes would have widened comically).
"My grandmother said that the disease comes from the sea; that eating fish that have been swimming around in dirty polluted water has made people's minds waste away," Luis pipes up. Jamie doesn't know how the boy's grandmother seems to always have an opinion about everything and how Luis knows of all these opinions.
"Is it much worse there?" Jamie asks.
"The fishpeople are starting to ruin everything, society is crumbling like a cookie," replies Luis. "The government can't control anything. People are heading east as fast as they can. They say the infected people want nothing but to eat people who haven't got sick yet. Their flesh is dead, and the only thing that stops them is destroying their brains."
"They sound like zombies, not fishmen or whatever your lot are calling them," Jamie points out. Trust Luis to have a wacky name for zombies.
"Maybe - but how do you explain the fish sickness? They're like fishpeople who are zombies. I think I will call them zombpeople. Or fishbies."
Jamie rolls his eyes, and looks over at Fernando for some back-up - but he realises he won't be getting any because the lanky fellow is busy texting.
"I'm bored. Let's go kick a ball around or something," Luis is already standing by the door with a football in his hands. Jamie gets up, and gives Fernando a light slap around the back of his head to get him moving.
That night, Jamie has the most important dream of his life. He thinks it is just a dream, but will come to realise in time that it is a prophecy that will save an entire generation. He dreams of a man with shaggy brown hair and a thick Scottish brogue. This man helps the weary weather the fight against the invading undead, and reinvigorates the flagging masses. He comes as a saviour and creates a bastion of hope and strength to weather the storm.
This man's name is Kenny.
The following morning, Jamie makes the mistake of mentioning his slightly odd dream to Luis and Fernando over breakfast.
"But what if it was a sign? You can't just ignore it!" Luis' voice is getting increasingly high-pitched; Jamie struggles to choke back a giggle.
"It was just a dream, I highly doubt a Scottish regent is going to swoop in and save us all from people sick with fish disease. That's what I get for going to bed right after watching the news," Jamie tries to explain.
"You don't know how dangerous it is to refuse to heed dream warnings! My grandmother once had a dream about potted plants falling out of the sky onto our neighbour's mailbox - she thought nothing of it but two days later the man was killed when his baby bougainvillea planter detached from his gutter and broke his skull." Luis' face was deathly serious. "We have to find King Kenny! He could prevent the coming of the fishbies! Or the zombpeople."
"I'd rather drive my sheep through the centre of town, to be honest, Luis."
"Well you don't have any sheep so you might as well come with me. Fernando too. Or I'm telling everyone that you've been a bad exchange host." Luis smirks, and looks entirely too proud of himself.
Jamie can't think of anything better to do, and he's worried that if Luis gets any more worried he will fill up with hot air and float away like a helium balloon.
"Alright. Where do you suggest we go to look for this elusive Scottish king?"
Luis decrees that their first stop should be the local university's psychology department, where the head of department is apparently a skilled hand at dream interpetration. Jamie isn't quite certain where Luis heard this but at this point has learned that's it a lot easier (and more peaceful) to just go along for the ride. Their trip there is uneventful, but the streets are emptier than they should be. Jamie doesn't think much of it.
When they reach the psychology department Luis ducks into the first lecture theatre they come across. Jamie is highly doubtful this plan has been given any thought at all by little Luis. Their clumsy entrance (and Fernando's letting the door slam shut behind him) makes everyone in the lecture theatre turn around gape at them. Jamie opens his mouth to begin explaining but the lights cut out before he can get a word out.
"It's probably fishpeople!" Luis hisses at him, and drags them right into the middle of the lecture theatre after shoving a chair up against the door handle. The students start stirring, and someone claps their hands before jokingly apologising for breaking the clap-activated lights.
"Professor! Who is King Kenny?" Jamie yells, figuring he doesn't have much time.
"Double K! All across the sky! But what does it mean, what does it mean," answers a voice from the front of the room.
"Luis I am going to murder you," Jamie mutters. The pounding on the doors grows louder, and the students start to sound mildly alarmed.
"King Kenny! Double K! He has come!" The voice is presumably the once-psychologically stable professor growing agitated.
A pool of light spills into the lecture theatre as the fishpeople finally manage to break through the doors. Luis plants his feet and pulls a couple of pistol-like things from within his jacket - Jamie has got no time to be surprised, because he's busy grabbing a student's ring binder from underneath their folded arms.
"What does that mean, Professor?" Jamie yells, hoping to get a coherent reply.
"Only Rabblerouser Rafa can help you now! You have been chosen to seek out the King!"
Jamie is busy trying to look for the emergency exit when Fernando gasps. He's standing rooted to the spot, pointing at the professor - or rather the body that used to be the professor, considering the zombies that are attempting to feast on his face. The three boys join the riot of students trying to make a hasty exit, Jamie batting away fishpeople with the stolen ring binder and Luis squirting zombies in the face from afar (upon later inquiry Jamie will learn that it was his grandmother's theory that since the fishpeople are from the water feeling water on their faces will calm their voracious appetites). Their departure is also impeded by the throng of hormonal university students clinging to Fernando's cheekbones but considering the boy hasn't armed himself they serve as a human buffer between him and the zombies.
Once they've fought their way out of the lecture theatre the boys leg it to a deserted alleyway, where they try to re-evaluate their options. Despite the slightly odd-sounding advice they received from the professor (right before he was eaten) Jamie feels Rabblerouser Rafa is someone worth paying a visit to, especially in a time of crisis. He heads for the first recycle bin pile he spots and starts digging through them, hoping that someone's decided they don't need their copy of the Yellow Pages anymore.
Luis starts quizzically at him for a moment before holstering his water pistols and stalking over to Fernando - who is currently attempting to fix his hair in the reflection of his iPhone. He rips it out of his delicate hands, and a few moments later exclaims triumphantly: "I have found Rabblerouser Rafa! He is only two miles away."
Jamie tries not to look impressed, and swaps his slightly moist ring binder for a plank of wood with several imposing looking nails embedded in one of its ends.
"Good, you can lead the way," Jamie picks up his plank, and gives it an experimental swing. This should be an interesting couple of miles, and hopefully an even more interesting visit.
A couple of hours later, the boys find themselves sitting on the couch of a portly, older gentleman with a prosperous belly, who calls himself Rafa. He delivers the answer they seek within minutes.
"King Kenny - I have not heard that name in years. He will definitely be doing something to rescue this horrible situation. You boys need to get to Merseyside. And I need to get going as well, so once you finish your tea please see yourselves out and good luck," Rafa stands up and removes his robe to reveal that he is wearing a karate gi with a sword hanging off his side.
Jamie has never seen Luis' eyes go so wide.
They stammer their thanks and watch as Rafa kicks his door open and jumps out while thrusting his sword (presumably into a lurking zombie's unlucky neck).
"Merseyside it is. Reckon the trains are still running?"
The boys savour the uneventful journey from Rafa's place to Merseyside. Jamie suspects it is because the older man cleared their way for them, but cannot presume to know anything about him or what he may have done.
They stand outside high gates, and are considering entering when a man emerges from within the complex behind the gates and yells at them to either get in or stop loitering like zombie bait. Luis immediately heads for the gate while Jamie tries to connect the piercing yell they are hearing with the soothing voice King Kenny had in his dream, and squints to try to make out the man's face.
Luis and Jamie hurry in, but Fernando dawdles outside the gate.
He finally pipes up, "I don't know about this place."
Jamie stares at him like he has gone insane.
"I'm just going to go with this man instead," Fernando says, pointing at a smirking gentleman who had appeared out of nowhere. "He seems more likely to survive this."
"I'm Roman, and I will take good care of you Fernando!" The man grins, and looks slightly hungry. Fernando takes his hand and they skip away.
Luis makes a disgusted face. Jamie gladly shuts the gate behind the both of them. He turns to Luis, and whispers, "That's King Kenny over there. We're in safe hands now."
They both grin beatifically, and walk towards the man.