I knew I had to make my...decissionn
I knew this break up was serious. Different. I knew it when I walked away, when I looked at her, and knew this one would be different. Things were going to change, for better or for worse. I have faith it'll be for the better.
It finally really hit tonight, though. We talked. She's happy, a little sad, but happy. I've been mostly happy, too, but I think I've been doing less of a good job of keeping myself busy. I don't work or anything. Either way, things are really over. Forever? Maybe not. I'll start acting more like it'll be forever, though.
I know she'd like us to be friends again at some point. We've been best friends for the two years we've been together, and old habits die hard.
I can't do that.
I can't see her as anything else than my girlfriend. I won't be able to deal with the friend thing, like some creepy guys who follow her do. I'm too in love with her, she's too beautiful. Even if it means a year or two from now I pass her on the street, and we both simply look the other way and continue our seperate lives, so be it.
She's deleted. Everything from my phone. From my friends. From my room and house. Except our old photos on Facebook, and a really nice drawing she did for me a year ago, it's basically all gone. It's the only way I can live my life realistically.
Boy, I would much rather be swearing off just about anything else right now. Other than my faith, nothing was more precious to me. I guess we have to be prepared to lose those we love the most.
I know we've both changed a lot in the past two years, for the better. Mostly I think of the difference in her when we first started dating, and now. I like to think I was a big help. She for me, too. People grow out of things, though. Recently I spent some time with an old friend, and I realized that he mostly just bothers me. Shit changes. Roll with the punches.
Goodbye to the last two years.
Haha, and on another note. I still miss Lawrence. I'm considering naming the Durango Ethan Frome. That way, if I get into my first car accident, I can say it was inevitable and "for love" haha.
Yeah, sorry for this emo shit. There are a lot of things I do want to do, but couldn't really. I guess now's the time to get started.
It finally really hit tonight, though. We talked. She's happy, a little sad, but happy. I've been mostly happy, too, but I think I've been doing less of a good job of keeping myself busy. I don't work or anything. Either way, things are really over. Forever? Maybe not. I'll start acting more like it'll be forever, though.
I know she'd like us to be friends again at some point. We've been best friends for the two years we've been together, and old habits die hard.
I can't do that.
I can't see her as anything else than my girlfriend. I won't be able to deal with the friend thing, like some creepy guys who follow her do. I'm too in love with her, she's too beautiful. Even if it means a year or two from now I pass her on the street, and we both simply look the other way and continue our seperate lives, so be it.
She's deleted. Everything from my phone. From my friends. From my room and house. Except our old photos on Facebook, and a really nice drawing she did for me a year ago, it's basically all gone. It's the only way I can live my life realistically.
Boy, I would much rather be swearing off just about anything else right now. Other than my faith, nothing was more precious to me. I guess we have to be prepared to lose those we love the most.
I know we've both changed a lot in the past two years, for the better. Mostly I think of the difference in her when we first started dating, and now. I like to think I was a big help. She for me, too. People grow out of things, though. Recently I spent some time with an old friend, and I realized that he mostly just bothers me. Shit changes. Roll with the punches.
Goodbye to the last two years.
Haha, and on another note. I still miss Lawrence. I'm considering naming the Durango Ethan Frome. That way, if I get into my first car accident, I can say it was inevitable and "for love" haha.
Yeah, sorry for this emo shit. There are a lot of things I do want to do, but couldn't really. I guess now's the time to get started.