Always so lost in the dark....
Yes i do know that just about every post i leave on this is just me bitching on how i'm discontent with my life, Yet here starts another one... Everything seems so "watered down" so pointless anymore, days and weeks pass by so quickly without any real advancement in my life. I'm stuck at a point where i do not know what to do anymore. I think about the past and think maybe i made bad choices sometimes, other times i know i did everything as i should have. I have been thinking alot lately about just giving up and going "home" (Ohio), but i have less there then i do here really. Nothing is clear all the lines are blurry and feelings are smeared together. I cant tell happy from sad, i cant tell if i miss certain points in time of my life or if i am glad they are done and over with. Theres people that i would give anything in the world to have here with me right now, but when they are around all i want is to be alone. I cant do this any more i cant "live" like this... I cant count the amount of times i have cried myself to sleep and all the lost hours i have spent in this state of mind. I have always been depressed, maybe i just was'nt meant to be..... anything.