i miss
summer days and spring mattresses. in two weeks you will tell me that you made the right decision. you will come up with excuses. but i know the truth. i know we will never share reese's and cookie dough ice cream again as friends. and we will never enjoy another kiss. and as much as i am dying right now knowing that, i need to move on. people say you should forgive and forget. so i forgive you for breaking your promise but now i need to forget you. i don't regret being with you, i just regret allowing myself to become so attached. i tried to tell myself that you were the one guy that i could trust with my heart. you just proved me wrong. trust is a myth and will never exist. you were my best friend and now i have lost you. i made you my everything and now you are gone. i guess the person who wrote that quote that says never make someone your everything because when they leave you have nothing knew what they were talking about. i just wish i would have listened. i want you to be happy. but my happiness is more important. stop telling me my happiness means the world to you. i know you are lying. stop saying you still like me. i know the feelings are no longer there. stop apologizing. its not your fault. i tried. i wanted you. i wanted us. you have given up and i cant blame you. relationships are hard. everything reminds me of you. i hope that one day you will find the girl that you will truly love forever. i envy her. i envy the next girl that will hear i love you from you. i envy the next girl who will have the chance to kiss you, and i hope you always remember your first. I envy the girl who will take my place in your car singing at the top of her lungs. i keep telling myself that one day i will be ok but right now it seems impossible. all i can see are days of loneliness, days of nonstop crying, days of wishing you were there, days of wanting to hear your voice. i have not stopped crying and i don't know when i will. i cant eat, im never hungry. my heart is pounding, i cant make it stop. i am afraid to let you go, but i have to.