(no subject)
Today's been ok so far.
I must have been rather more undernourished in the vitamin stakes,then i thought cause i have heaps of energy now!! I've been bouncing off the walls(in the good way) and it's not manic hyper either...well,i hope not!!
It isn't easy though.Fucking hard work not binging or buying binge food!!
I went to get some cig's this morning.I got to the shop and i needed to get a lettuce so i put one in the basket!...then,low and behold,the urge to buy bread,butter,cheese,crisps...crap basically,flood into my head!!
I was sooo near to going, fuck it all,one binge for old times sake!!..how messed up!!
I was toiling with the idea of a small b/p...one loaf of bread,some pb&j,some rice cakes,some 26 packets of fudging crisps!!...i was majorly lusting!!
But no!! FUCKINGFUCKINGFUCKING NO!!!! NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!..For christsakes,NOOOO!!
Rest-bite?!...from what?...eating normal!?...not purging?...doing the very thing i think i want?..doing the sensible,normal thing i need to do to move on?!...
FUCK YOU,YOU STUPID FUCKING,CRIPPLING THOUGHTS!!!...Get the shitting hell outta my head and leave me to it,damnit!! fuckers!!
So,yeah...this is what i got in the end:
Sunflower seeds
Tuna
Lettuce
small bag(100g)of "dolly mixture" sweets.....that's it!! oh and the cig's!:p
I bargained with myself,allowed some sugar cause it's gotta be done!! I really wanted Liqourice allsorts buuut,they lead to bad places!...namely,the pooper!!...i eat em all in like 10minutes...best not to go there!!
Gotta allow the occasional treat!!...not even a treat,it is a dirty sugar fix!!lol but...that's the curse of living in the west!Living in a culture of sugar,refined foods,MSG and processed crap!!
It's a bit like taking someone from a really abstract place...who lives a nomadic existence on the plains of some far off land.Eating what they grow and catch, and putting them in i dunno,London!
Telling them they have to eat only the convenience foods that are everywhere now;It wouldn't work!!.they'd likly be very ill and have some serious mood swings or something!
....You need that acclimatization period!!...stopping all sugar is a bad idea!!...cold turkey with-drawl just builds and builds and builds....then i'll just fall!! With only the sugar of a binge to "cushion" the blow!! ..pah,whatever!
Anywho...i better *study*!!...hehe,i'm playing very fast and loose with the word,study,there!!
I've written..oh,3lines in the past 2hours!!...productive christine!!...very sodding productive!!
..oh yeah!!..explain this mister genetics man,if you will!!...
How is it that i found a ginger hair, growing amongst the other black ones on my head?!...i'm going grey,blonde and ginger...all at once!!....fancy!!
I must have been rather more undernourished in the vitamin stakes,then i thought cause i have heaps of energy now!! I've been bouncing off the walls(in the good way) and it's not manic hyper either...well,i hope not!!
It isn't easy though.Fucking hard work not binging or buying binge food!!
I went to get some cig's this morning.I got to the shop and i needed to get a lettuce so i put one in the basket!...then,low and behold,the urge to buy bread,butter,cheese,crisps...crap basically,flood into my head!!
I was sooo near to going, fuck it all,one binge for old times sake!!..how messed up!!
I was toiling with the idea of a small b/p...one loaf of bread,some pb&j,some rice cakes,some 26 packets of fudging crisps!!...i was majorly lusting!!
But no!! FUCKINGFUCKINGFUCKING NO!!!! NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!..For christsakes,NOOOO!!
Rest-bite?!...from what?...eating normal!?...not purging?...doing the very thing i think i want?..doing the sensible,normal thing i need to do to move on?!...
FUCK YOU,YOU STUPID FUCKING,CRIPPLING THOUGHTS!!!...Get the shitting hell outta my head and leave me to it,damnit!! fuckers!!
So,yeah...this is what i got in the end:
Sunflower seeds
Tuna
Lettuce
small bag(100g)of "dolly mixture" sweets.....that's it!! oh and the cig's!:p
I bargained with myself,allowed some sugar cause it's gotta be done!! I really wanted Liqourice allsorts buuut,they lead to bad places!...namely,the pooper!!...i eat em all in like 10minutes...best not to go there!!
Gotta allow the occasional treat!!...not even a treat,it is a dirty sugar fix!!lol but...that's the curse of living in the west!Living in a culture of sugar,refined foods,MSG and processed crap!!
It's a bit like taking someone from a really abstract place...who lives a nomadic existence on the plains of some far off land.Eating what they grow and catch, and putting them in i dunno,London!
Telling them they have to eat only the convenience foods that are everywhere now;It wouldn't work!!.they'd likly be very ill and have some serious mood swings or something!
....You need that acclimatization period!!...stopping all sugar is a bad idea!!...cold turkey with-drawl just builds and builds and builds....then i'll just fall!! With only the sugar of a binge to "cushion" the blow!! ..pah,whatever!
Anywho...i better *study*!!...hehe,i'm playing very fast and loose with the word,study,there!!
I've written..oh,3lines in the past 2hours!!...productive christine!!...very sodding productive!!
..oh yeah!!..explain this mister genetics man,if you will!!...
How is it that i found a ginger hair, growing amongst the other black ones on my head?!...i'm going grey,blonde and ginger...all at once!!....fancy!!