Learning Forgiveness
Title:Learning Forgiveness
Rating: PG-13 for language
Genre: Angst?
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em
A/N: This was brought about by things going on with me right now, and reading back through it I'm not all that fond of it...I might revise it upon a later date
SLAM!
The walls rattled with the force that the door swung shut in, heads turned and eyes widened as Eeteuk, with tears pouring down him face like rivers, ran into his room and slammed the door shut again with the same amount of force. Kangin came running into the room barely seconds after Eeteuk’s door shut and before the walls had stopped rattling, with a desolate expression on his face. When he was confronted with the closed door and the distinct sound of sobs coming from within his distraught expression crumpled and his shoulders trembled.
“I’m sorry!” He called from in front of the door. “I didn’t mean it! It was a mistake, I’m sorry!” He turned and slid down the door on his back until he came into contact wit the floor then his head fell into his hands and the shudders trembling on his shoulders became more pronounced.
“I’m sorry…so sorry…I never meant to do this, to hurt you…But I did…and I’m so sorry…” He pulled himself up off the floor and, with one last baleful glance at the closed door hiding his love from his sight, turned and walked away, shoulders slumped in a posture of defeat.
~*~*~*~*~
It was dark inside his room. The curtains had been drawn shut of the windows, the door remained shut even though the rest of the members had gone out for a drink since we have no work tomorrow, and the light stayed off, even though I hadn’t turned it on when I’d come into the room…
It hurt.
I hurt…
I can’t believe he’d do that to me!
I’d trusted him and he’d thrown it back in my face
I just can’t believe he’d cheated on me. Cheated on me when he’d sworn that he loved me and only me; me not the person he’d been screwing. And not once but twice! How could he say he was sorry and it was a mistake when he’d done it twice?!
It hurt so badly, and the tears just wouldn’t stop.
I’d tried to stop them. But the harder I tried to stop their flow down make cheeks the harder they had fallen. He wasn’t worth the tears I was shedding I told myself furiously as they continued to fall unchecked down my face. He wasn’t crying over me, so why was I crying over him? It made no sense to me.
He gave me the greatest betrayal of my life, the greatest pain, and the greatest suffering.
He’d promised that I’d be his one and only…And he lied. I hate promises, because no one can ever seem to keep them. You get your hopes up only to have it thrown back in your face. Again and again; eventually you just stop hoping, stop believing that someone might keep their word; it just hurts less that way…
I tend to be a forgiving person by nature, I have to be to put up with all 13 of the boys, but sometimes you just can’t forgive someone…I know it was wrong of me when he was clearly sorry, but it hurt so bad and I didn’t want to get hurt like that by him again…It would break me…
I just can’t….
Can’t or won’t?
What?
You heard me. Can’t forgive him, when he’s clearly sorry, or won’t? There is a difference you know.
Yes I know that.
But you didn’t answer me.
I...I…I can’t…
Are you sure about that? Cause you don’t sound sure to me…
He’d hurt me again!
Are you sure about that? How do you know that?
I…
Exactly. You don’t know that. So why can’t you forgive him?
I just can’t! Please don’t make me do this, it already hurts so much!
You’re being cruel to him and yourself and everyone around you. I didn’t think you were that selfish Angel - boy.
Why should I forgive him when he’s hurt me like this? If he’s suffering he should have thought about it before he did what he did.
Do you know what it means to give forgiveness to someone?
…No?
Giving forgiveness to someone who has asked for it is giving them a choice to do the right thing the second time around. To deny forgiveness to someone who is genuinely sorry is to be cruel beyond reason. Forgiveness is something that should never be denied if the person asking for it is really sorry.
Really?
Yeah.
He wouldn’t hurt me like that again?
Probably not.
I…I guess I could give him another chance…It can’t be that bad…Right?
~*~*~*~*~
Forgiveness is when you give someone another chance to fix what they previously fucked up.
It’s giving them the chance to say “I’m sorry” and actually listening to them.
It’s proving that even if they fucked up, you still have it in you to do better than they did.
It’s showing compassion.
It’s showing the best part of you; the part that can still excuse their behavior even though it was horrible and it hurt you or someone else badly.
It’s showing everyone that some people aren’t the same as everyone else; showing them that some people still have compassion for others, and not just themselves.
But mostly…It’s showing that you love them enough to pardon them for their sins against you. A feat that not many would, or could, do honestly.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Genre: Angst?
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em
A/N: This was brought about by things going on with me right now, and reading back through it I'm not all that fond of it...I might revise it upon a later date
SLAM!
The walls rattled with the force that the door swung shut in, heads turned and eyes widened as Eeteuk, with tears pouring down him face like rivers, ran into his room and slammed the door shut again with the same amount of force. Kangin came running into the room barely seconds after Eeteuk’s door shut and before the walls had stopped rattling, with a desolate expression on his face. When he was confronted with the closed door and the distinct sound of sobs coming from within his distraught expression crumpled and his shoulders trembled.
“I’m sorry!” He called from in front of the door. “I didn’t mean it! It was a mistake, I’m sorry!” He turned and slid down the door on his back until he came into contact wit the floor then his head fell into his hands and the shudders trembling on his shoulders became more pronounced.
“I’m sorry…so sorry…I never meant to do this, to hurt you…But I did…and I’m so sorry…” He pulled himself up off the floor and, with one last baleful glance at the closed door hiding his love from his sight, turned and walked away, shoulders slumped in a posture of defeat.
~*~*~*~*~
It was dark inside his room. The curtains had been drawn shut of the windows, the door remained shut even though the rest of the members had gone out for a drink since we have no work tomorrow, and the light stayed off, even though I hadn’t turned it on when I’d come into the room…
It hurt.
I hurt…
I can’t believe he’d do that to me!
I’d trusted him and he’d thrown it back in my face
I just can’t believe he’d cheated on me. Cheated on me when he’d sworn that he loved me and only me; me not the person he’d been screwing. And not once but twice! How could he say he was sorry and it was a mistake when he’d done it twice?!
It hurt so badly, and the tears just wouldn’t stop.
I’d tried to stop them. But the harder I tried to stop their flow down make cheeks the harder they had fallen. He wasn’t worth the tears I was shedding I told myself furiously as they continued to fall unchecked down my face. He wasn’t crying over me, so why was I crying over him? It made no sense to me.
He gave me the greatest betrayal of my life, the greatest pain, and the greatest suffering.
He’d promised that I’d be his one and only…And he lied. I hate promises, because no one can ever seem to keep them. You get your hopes up only to have it thrown back in your face. Again and again; eventually you just stop hoping, stop believing that someone might keep their word; it just hurts less that way…
I tend to be a forgiving person by nature, I have to be to put up with all 13 of the boys, but sometimes you just can’t forgive someone…I know it was wrong of me when he was clearly sorry, but it hurt so bad and I didn’t want to get hurt like that by him again…It would break me…
I just can’t….
Can’t or won’t?
What?
You heard me. Can’t forgive him, when he’s clearly sorry, or won’t? There is a difference you know.
Yes I know that.
But you didn’t answer me.
I...I…I can’t…
Are you sure about that? Cause you don’t sound sure to me…
He’d hurt me again!
Are you sure about that? How do you know that?
I…
Exactly. You don’t know that. So why can’t you forgive him?
I just can’t! Please don’t make me do this, it already hurts so much!
You’re being cruel to him and yourself and everyone around you. I didn’t think you were that selfish Angel - boy.
Why should I forgive him when he’s hurt me like this? If he’s suffering he should have thought about it before he did what he did.
Do you know what it means to give forgiveness to someone?
…No?
Giving forgiveness to someone who has asked for it is giving them a choice to do the right thing the second time around. To deny forgiveness to someone who is genuinely sorry is to be cruel beyond reason. Forgiveness is something that should never be denied if the person asking for it is really sorry.
Really?
Yeah.
He wouldn’t hurt me like that again?
Probably not.
I…I guess I could give him another chance…It can’t be that bad…Right?
~*~*~*~*~
Forgiveness is when you give someone another chance to fix what they previously fucked up.
It’s giving them the chance to say “I’m sorry” and actually listening to them.
It’s proving that even if they fucked up, you still have it in you to do better than they did.
It’s showing compassion.
It’s showing the best part of you; the part that can still excuse their behavior even though it was horrible and it hurt you or someone else badly.
It’s showing everyone that some people aren’t the same as everyone else; showing them that some people still have compassion for others, and not just themselves.
But mostly…It’s showing that you love them enough to pardon them for their sins against you. A feat that not many would, or could, do honestly.