fill this gap
fill this gap | luhan/sehun , luhan/kai | pg-15
summary : jongin is dead. he's a mere memory now when sehun entered the scene.
warning : character death, and my first time writing smut omg. heavens forgive me.
a/n : for jiihyuk she insists -_-
thanks to jiihyuk too for the banner teehee.
luhan clutches the frame so hard as he hugs it to his chest.
it's been three hours since the funeral had ended, but he won't budge. he wouldn't move an inch away from jongin's grave. he's crying. and it's been the first time in years. all the tears stored before are now pouring. luhan hates it.
at least now he's all alone. jongin's relatives and friends had left.
luhan is sitting on the grass, jongin's framed picture in his arms as he stares at the tombstone blankly.
in memory of our loving son, we will never forget you.
( the thing is, jongin died from a racing incident.
luhan told him not to join that bet. it's pretty useless anyway, but luhan ended up accompanying jongin to this huge garage away from the vicinity of seoul.
"trust me." jongin gives luhan a peck on the lips before disappearing into the crowd of big and bulky men. luhan gulps, scared. he touched his lips and tries to recall how jongin's lips felt on his.
the next thing he knows, luhan is hearing loud screeching of breaks and tires and then smoke. his feet's instincts tell him to run over the now crashed car.
luhan is running to the emergency room where jongin is. "come on, jongin. you can't fucking die--" was his words as he run. he didn't even realize that he was crying until he reaches a hand up to his face. it was wet.
ten minutes later, the doctor come out of the e.r., patting luhan on the shoulder. and then he lost it.
he dialed the number of one of jongin's sisters. the whole family was there in the blink of an eye.
they really don't blame luhan. how can they blame luhan, after all? luhan was jongin's best friend before they even turned out to be lovers. now, jongin's family is crying with him.
"i told him not to do it." luhan tells jongin's mom. "but he's so stubborn." he chokes over his tears. "and now--" more tears.
"sh." jongin's mom cuts him off and hugs him. luhan found a little bit of comfort in her arms. "we can't do anything about it now. all we can do is move on with life, luhan." )
luhan is furiously typing his literature paper in the same cafe he and jongin used to go to.
he didn't want to go back there at first, thinking that the memories will come washing down on him, but eventually it became a good thing.
the thing is, he always puts jongin's framed picture in front of him, imagining he was there. luhan always gets stares, but he can't bring himself to care.
luhan sighs as he presses the last dot. "fuck. that was hard." he saves the document into his usb to have it printed later. he shuts his laptop and smiles when jongin's face flashes again.
luhan walks to the internet cafe, two blocks down, to have his paper printed.
he beams when he sees a familiar face. "sehun! what are you doing here at this hour?" luhan gives him a little smile.
"oh, hi luhan. i'm getting my literature printed."
"so do i!" luhan stands beside sehun by the counter and small talk was made.
"i see you're still holding on to it." sehun tells him eventually when he sees jongin's picture frame.
luhan gives him a sad smile. "yeah. it's just--"
"here's your paper, sir." the girl behind the counter hands luhan his paper. luhan says his thanks and turns to sehun.
"i uh, gotta go home. i guess."
"i'll walk you."
the walk back to luhan's apartment is quite nice. luhan is doing most of the talking as sehun listens to everything he says.
"i feel so stupid. jongin's mom told me to move on. funny cause she doesn't even know that we used to be together." luhan chuckles.
"you know..." sehun starts as he clears his throat. "jongin's mom was right. you need to move on." sehun sounds like he means it.
"i've tried to many times but i'll ended up failing."' luhan laughs, but sehun doesn't.
"maybe i can help you." sehun says out of the blue. luhan is shocked as he turns to sehun, but the younger one is staring somewhere else. "because-- i don't know. i've liked you since forever, but it seems like you love jongin too much. he's gone now, luhan. he's not here anymore. all i wished was for you to see me, but seeing you like this because jongin's gone is bringing me pain, too. it's hard."
and then there was silence.
"sehun..."
"but yeah, i get it now. i mean, it's alright. i know you love jongin too much. but think about it." sehun says before he walks away, mumbling an inaudible goodnight to luhan.
luhan tossed and turned in bed, now bugged by what sehun had said earlier.
it's two am and he has a seven o'clock class. but jesus, who can afford to sleep. luhan turns down jongin's frame that night because all he can think about is sehun.
( "hold on to love. come on, luhan. i'm dead. isn't it time for you to find someone who can make you happy as i can?" luhan was blinded by jongin's smile.
"jongin, i can't just--"
"trust me." )
luhan wakes up sweating at four am, the words trust me still ringing in his head, jongin's last words. so it was just a dream.
luhan was so bothered he ended up staying awake 'til school time.
sehun was completely ignoring him that day in school. luhan doesn't even know why.
luhan is eating lunch alone, kimbap and pepsi, third time in a row that week, when sehun slides in the booth in front of him.
"sorry for ignoring you. i didn't mean it that--"
"i'd like to give it a try." luhan smiles at sehun and it's the best thing that ever happened to him ever since.
they walk back to luhan's apartment after class. it felt so right whenever their shoulders bump, or the back of their hands brush against each other. it's been months since luhan felt the sparks. he's sure jongin would like it if he's becoming happier now.
luhan kisses sehun as soon as they entered the apartment.
the kiss was slow, unhurried at all. luhan has sehun's face in his hands as his lips did wonders. it only took sehun a second before he's dominating everything.
they kiss until they crave for air. sehun kept their foreheads touching, with their face impossibly close. luhan is flustered and so is sehun.
luhan is pressed down on the bed (thankfully, they managed to get in the bedroom) with sehun's hand on his hip, his other arm for support. sehun was kissing him again with a lot more passion, like the years worth of his liking for the older is poured down this very moment.
luhan's eyes are half lidded, his shirt halfway up, and sehun's large hands are on his sides.
"sehun..." luhan moans, and sehun was kinda glad that luhan is acknowledging him and not jongin.
sehun's hand never left luhan all through out. their fingers fitting perfectly like a perfect match.
sehun pulls his shirt over his head, and he helped luhan with his, discharging the rest of their clothes, throwing them over to the growing pile on the floor.
sehun fucks him raw that night, but he wasn't rough at all. he treats luhan like he's so fragile, avoiding to break him at all costs.
luhan moans sehun's name when he comes, slicking both of their stomach and chests. sehun comes inside luhan and it was pure bliss.
sehun kisses luhan for the last time before dipping into the sheets, passed out. he tugs luhan closer and drops an arm over the older's waist.
luhan contentedly sighs, finally happy that he thought about sehun all this time. it's the first step to move on right? he looks at jongin's turned over frame by his bed stand and smiles.
thanks for appearing in my dream, jongin-ah, he tells jongin mentally before turning around and burying his face in sehun's chest.
the gap you left has been filled now.
a/n : lol dis sucks.
summary : jongin is dead. he's a mere memory now when sehun entered the scene.
warning : character death, and my first time writing smut omg. heavens forgive me.
a/n : for jiihyuk she insists -_-
thanks to jiihyuk too for the banner teehee.
luhan clutches the frame so hard as he hugs it to his chest.
it's been three hours since the funeral had ended, but he won't budge. he wouldn't move an inch away from jongin's grave. he's crying. and it's been the first time in years. all the tears stored before are now pouring. luhan hates it.
at least now he's all alone. jongin's relatives and friends had left.
luhan is sitting on the grass, jongin's framed picture in his arms as he stares at the tombstone blankly.
in memory of our loving son, we will never forget you.
( the thing is, jongin died from a racing incident.
luhan told him not to join that bet. it's pretty useless anyway, but luhan ended up accompanying jongin to this huge garage away from the vicinity of seoul.
"trust me." jongin gives luhan a peck on the lips before disappearing into the crowd of big and bulky men. luhan gulps, scared. he touched his lips and tries to recall how jongin's lips felt on his.
the next thing he knows, luhan is hearing loud screeching of breaks and tires and then smoke. his feet's instincts tell him to run over the now crashed car.
luhan is running to the emergency room where jongin is. "come on, jongin. you can't fucking die--" was his words as he run. he didn't even realize that he was crying until he reaches a hand up to his face. it was wet.
ten minutes later, the doctor come out of the e.r., patting luhan on the shoulder. and then he lost it.
he dialed the number of one of jongin's sisters. the whole family was there in the blink of an eye.
they really don't blame luhan. how can they blame luhan, after all? luhan was jongin's best friend before they even turned out to be lovers. now, jongin's family is crying with him.
"i told him not to do it." luhan tells jongin's mom. "but he's so stubborn." he chokes over his tears. "and now--" more tears.
"sh." jongin's mom cuts him off and hugs him. luhan found a little bit of comfort in her arms. "we can't do anything about it now. all we can do is move on with life, luhan." )
luhan is furiously typing his literature paper in the same cafe he and jongin used to go to.
he didn't want to go back there at first, thinking that the memories will come washing down on him, but eventually it became a good thing.
the thing is, he always puts jongin's framed picture in front of him, imagining he was there. luhan always gets stares, but he can't bring himself to care.
luhan sighs as he presses the last dot. "fuck. that was hard." he saves the document into his usb to have it printed later. he shuts his laptop and smiles when jongin's face flashes again.
luhan walks to the internet cafe, two blocks down, to have his paper printed.
he beams when he sees a familiar face. "sehun! what are you doing here at this hour?" luhan gives him a little smile.
"oh, hi luhan. i'm getting my literature printed."
"so do i!" luhan stands beside sehun by the counter and small talk was made.
"i see you're still holding on to it." sehun tells him eventually when he sees jongin's picture frame.
luhan gives him a sad smile. "yeah. it's just--"
"here's your paper, sir." the girl behind the counter hands luhan his paper. luhan says his thanks and turns to sehun.
"i uh, gotta go home. i guess."
"i'll walk you."
the walk back to luhan's apartment is quite nice. luhan is doing most of the talking as sehun listens to everything he says.
"i feel so stupid. jongin's mom told me to move on. funny cause she doesn't even know that we used to be together." luhan chuckles.
"you know..." sehun starts as he clears his throat. "jongin's mom was right. you need to move on." sehun sounds like he means it.
"i've tried to many times but i'll ended up failing."' luhan laughs, but sehun doesn't.
"maybe i can help you." sehun says out of the blue. luhan is shocked as he turns to sehun, but the younger one is staring somewhere else. "because-- i don't know. i've liked you since forever, but it seems like you love jongin too much. he's gone now, luhan. he's not here anymore. all i wished was for you to see me, but seeing you like this because jongin's gone is bringing me pain, too. it's hard."
and then there was silence.
"sehun..."
"but yeah, i get it now. i mean, it's alright. i know you love jongin too much. but think about it." sehun says before he walks away, mumbling an inaudible goodnight to luhan.
luhan tossed and turned in bed, now bugged by what sehun had said earlier.
it's two am and he has a seven o'clock class. but jesus, who can afford to sleep. luhan turns down jongin's frame that night because all he can think about is sehun.
( "hold on to love. come on, luhan. i'm dead. isn't it time for you to find someone who can make you happy as i can?" luhan was blinded by jongin's smile.
"jongin, i can't just--"
"trust me." )
luhan wakes up sweating at four am, the words trust me still ringing in his head, jongin's last words. so it was just a dream.
luhan was so bothered he ended up staying awake 'til school time.
sehun was completely ignoring him that day in school. luhan doesn't even know why.
luhan is eating lunch alone, kimbap and pepsi, third time in a row that week, when sehun slides in the booth in front of him.
"sorry for ignoring you. i didn't mean it that--"
"i'd like to give it a try." luhan smiles at sehun and it's the best thing that ever happened to him ever since.
they walk back to luhan's apartment after class. it felt so right whenever their shoulders bump, or the back of their hands brush against each other. it's been months since luhan felt the sparks. he's sure jongin would like it if he's becoming happier now.
luhan kisses sehun as soon as they entered the apartment.
the kiss was slow, unhurried at all. luhan has sehun's face in his hands as his lips did wonders. it only took sehun a second before he's dominating everything.
they kiss until they crave for air. sehun kept their foreheads touching, with their face impossibly close. luhan is flustered and so is sehun.
luhan is pressed down on the bed (thankfully, they managed to get in the bedroom) with sehun's hand on his hip, his other arm for support. sehun was kissing him again with a lot more passion, like the years worth of his liking for the older is poured down this very moment.
luhan's eyes are half lidded, his shirt halfway up, and sehun's large hands are on his sides.
"sehun..." luhan moans, and sehun was kinda glad that luhan is acknowledging him and not jongin.
sehun's hand never left luhan all through out. their fingers fitting perfectly like a perfect match.
sehun pulls his shirt over his head, and he helped luhan with his, discharging the rest of their clothes, throwing them over to the growing pile on the floor.
sehun fucks him raw that night, but he wasn't rough at all. he treats luhan like he's so fragile, avoiding to break him at all costs.
luhan moans sehun's name when he comes, slicking both of their stomach and chests. sehun comes inside luhan and it was pure bliss.
sehun kisses luhan for the last time before dipping into the sheets, passed out. he tugs luhan closer and drops an arm over the older's waist.
luhan contentedly sighs, finally happy that he thought about sehun all this time. it's the first step to move on right? he looks at jongin's turned over frame by his bed stand and smiles.
thanks for appearing in my dream, jongin-ah, he tells jongin mentally before turning around and burying his face in sehun's chest.
the gap you left has been filled now.
a/n : lol dis sucks.