(no subject)
Title: The Root All of Evil; Part 3-Someone Like Him
Author: animethief92
Theme: #40-War with myself; #41-Forsaken; #51-Secrets
Pairing/Characters: Edward Elric/Envy
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own, so plese don't sue. It's good for me, but better for you. I don't own Dream Theater or have any rights to their songs.
I never wanted to become someone like him so secure
Content to live each day just like the last
I was sure I knew that
This was not for me
Maybe I didn’t want this life that I lived. I knew that Edward didn’t for sure. He always told me this wasn’t how I should live my life.
I shouldn’t be staying with someone like Envy just because he told me I should. Edward even told me to disobey Father. I tried to show him it was impossible to disobey Father without punishment, but he refused to listen to my reasoning.
He was the only person who really understood me, and the only person I could talk to. Edward couldn’t leave me or else I’d be empty just as I had been before.
I didn’t want to be like Envy or the pretend Fuhrer. They would be happy just to live each day exactly the same, but I couldn’t.
This wasn’t what I wanted.
And I wanted so much more
Far beyond what I could see
So I swore that I’d
Never be someone like him
I desired more for me and for Edward. I also desired Envy himself, but I knew I would never achieve that.
So I decided to listen to what Edward told me I should do. He has been the only one so far that has actually cared about me and what I feel.
We can communicate without using words since I am incapable of speaking.
I swore to myself that I’d never be like them, but Edward didn’t believe me. He was planning something; deceiving me the whole time. Maybe it had been obvious and I just didn’t want to believe it.
He explained it was something beyond what I could see; far beyond what anyone could see. My fate was laid out before me, but I would never see it until the time was right.
So many years have passed
Since I proclaimed my independence
My mission
My aim
And my vision
So secure
It’s been many years since I decided to disobey Father and leave them. Since I’d taken over my own life.
My mission was to live life and try to do something other than kill or hurt people. It was strange how desperately I needed to kill once I had separated myself from them.
When I left I could feel it eating me from the inside out; eventually I wouldn’t be able to control myself. That’s what Father had planned when I had left; he had not been angry and did not send anyone to kill me or bring me back. Father had planned this; he knew my fate.
I could envision myself as a happy, normal person who had not a care in the world. Though Edward seemed crueler to me when I left them; he would stop me from imagining a happy life for me.
Was he my enemy too?
Everything had been so secure when I had been with Father, but now it was chaotic. I needed to kill people; maybe that was why Edward resented me. If I could get myself under control, it might be just as it was before.
Content to live each day just like it’s my last
It’s wonderful to know
That I could be
Something more than what I dreamed
Far beyond what I could see
Still I swear that I’m
Missing out this time
I ended up going back and Father welcomed me with no anger or punishment. Envy was angry at me for attempting to abandon them, but Father was sure not to let him get out of hand.
Edward spoke to me again, and told me that I had become something else. He explained that this was the only way to become human.
But I didn’t want that.
He had never told me what he had been planning for me, but now I see it with eyes open wide.
As far as I could tell
There’s nothing more I need
But still I ask myself
Could this be everything
I had everything I ever wanted or needed now. At least that’s what Edward said I should ever want or need.
I don’t usually question him, but I still wonder if there’s something else I want. Why did Edward suddenly seem so different?
He became unusually quiet and now he won’t speak at all. Maybe he has forsaken me because he didn’t like that I disobeyed him as well.
Everything seemed so confusing and almost like Edward and Envy had reversed roles. Envy had become nicer to me; while Edward ignored me and refused to say anything.
This wasn’t everything I desired. I desired Envy’s love, but I also desired Edward’s friendship. These were feelings a human should have; not me.
But then why am I feeling them?
Then all I swore
That I would never be was now
So suddenly
The only thing
I wanted
To become
To be someone just like him
Edward finally spoke to me again, and I’m glad. The silence was beginning to torture me and I kept feeling insecure.
Again, the feelings of humans.
Why did I keep feeling these things? I was a homunculi, and not some annoying human being that could be killed with just one bullet. Maybe I was no better than one of them, or maybe I longed to be one of them.
The only thing… the only person I really wanted to become was… Edward. How could I have not seen it before?
He was everything I ever wanted to be. Happy, free, loved, and just content to live for as long as possible.
I longed to not have to kill people because I was told to do so, and I wanted someone who would love me. Maybe Edward’s foolish human ideals were finally infecting me, but still…
I wanted to be someone just like him.
Author: animethief92
Theme: #40-War with myself; #41-Forsaken; #51-Secrets
Pairing/Characters: Edward Elric/Envy
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own, so plese don't sue. It's good for me, but better for you. I don't own Dream Theater or have any rights to their songs.
I never wanted to become someone like him so secure
Content to live each day just like the last
I was sure I knew that
This was not for me
Maybe I didn’t want this life that I lived. I knew that Edward didn’t for sure. He always told me this wasn’t how I should live my life.
I shouldn’t be staying with someone like Envy just because he told me I should. Edward even told me to disobey Father. I tried to show him it was impossible to disobey Father without punishment, but he refused to listen to my reasoning.
He was the only person who really understood me, and the only person I could talk to. Edward couldn’t leave me or else I’d be empty just as I had been before.
I didn’t want to be like Envy or the pretend Fuhrer. They would be happy just to live each day exactly the same, but I couldn’t.
This wasn’t what I wanted.
And I wanted so much more
Far beyond what I could see
So I swore that I’d
Never be someone like him
I desired more for me and for Edward. I also desired Envy himself, but I knew I would never achieve that.
So I decided to listen to what Edward told me I should do. He has been the only one so far that has actually cared about me and what I feel.
We can communicate without using words since I am incapable of speaking.
I swore to myself that I’d never be like them, but Edward didn’t believe me. He was planning something; deceiving me the whole time. Maybe it had been obvious and I just didn’t want to believe it.
He explained it was something beyond what I could see; far beyond what anyone could see. My fate was laid out before me, but I would never see it until the time was right.
So many years have passed
Since I proclaimed my independence
My mission
My aim
And my vision
So secure
It’s been many years since I decided to disobey Father and leave them. Since I’d taken over my own life.
My mission was to live life and try to do something other than kill or hurt people. It was strange how desperately I needed to kill once I had separated myself from them.
When I left I could feel it eating me from the inside out; eventually I wouldn’t be able to control myself. That’s what Father had planned when I had left; he had not been angry and did not send anyone to kill me or bring me back. Father had planned this; he knew my fate.
I could envision myself as a happy, normal person who had not a care in the world. Though Edward seemed crueler to me when I left them; he would stop me from imagining a happy life for me.
Was he my enemy too?
Everything had been so secure when I had been with Father, but now it was chaotic. I needed to kill people; maybe that was why Edward resented me. If I could get myself under control, it might be just as it was before.
Content to live each day just like it’s my last
It’s wonderful to know
That I could be
Something more than what I dreamed
Far beyond what I could see
Still I swear that I’m
Missing out this time
I ended up going back and Father welcomed me with no anger or punishment. Envy was angry at me for attempting to abandon them, but Father was sure not to let him get out of hand.
Edward spoke to me again, and told me that I had become something else. He explained that this was the only way to become human.
But I didn’t want that.
He had never told me what he had been planning for me, but now I see it with eyes open wide.
As far as I could tell
There’s nothing more I need
But still I ask myself
Could this be everything
I had everything I ever wanted or needed now. At least that’s what Edward said I should ever want or need.
I don’t usually question him, but I still wonder if there’s something else I want. Why did Edward suddenly seem so different?
He became unusually quiet and now he won’t speak at all. Maybe he has forsaken me because he didn’t like that I disobeyed him as well.
Everything seemed so confusing and almost like Edward and Envy had reversed roles. Envy had become nicer to me; while Edward ignored me and refused to say anything.
This wasn’t everything I desired. I desired Envy’s love, but I also desired Edward’s friendship. These were feelings a human should have; not me.
But then why am I feeling them?
Then all I swore
That I would never be was now
So suddenly
The only thing
I wanted
To become
To be someone just like him
Edward finally spoke to me again, and I’m glad. The silence was beginning to torture me and I kept feeling insecure.
Again, the feelings of humans.
Why did I keep feeling these things? I was a homunculi, and not some annoying human being that could be killed with just one bullet. Maybe I was no better than one of them, or maybe I longed to be one of them.
The only thing… the only person I really wanted to become was… Edward. How could I have not seen it before?
He was everything I ever wanted to be. Happy, free, loved, and just content to live for as long as possible.
I longed to not have to kill people because I was told to do so, and I wanted someone who would love me. Maybe Edward’s foolish human ideals were finally infecting me, but still…
I wanted to be someone just like him.