Prank calling Clark & Lois
Title: Prank Calling Clark & Lois
Rating: PG-13
Author: 552158
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Chloe & Oliver
Spoilers: Up to and including Fortune.
Author’s note: Inspired by geek_or_unique’s icon of Masquerade (to be found here) I’ve wanted to write a small one shot capturing what the icon conveyed. Yesterday’s episode finally gave me an inspiration for the prank call. So hope you enjoy, feedback is welcome. As always I do not own Smallville or its rights.
After his initial fear of her rejection had passed when she smiled with teary eyes at the missing piece of their wedding certificate, he swooped in and resolved to not let her out of his bed (at least for the evening). Furthermore he decided that they needed a proper wedding night - excluding the gang and lemur - and dragged her off to the closest hotel that was acceptable to his taste. Never would he have imagined ending up cuddled together in a blanket prank calling Clark and Lois at three in the morning was their unconventional way of spending said wedding night.
Then again nothing was conventional anymore. While he was elated and overjoyed that they had tied the knot, he was scared that if he admitted that he had more recollection of the night prior than he let on she would run for the hills. While everyone else kept drinking he merely had a sip of the cursed champagne and thus was very well aware of saying “I Do”. But he could not start a marriage based on lies.
He pressed her against the door as soon as they entered, nuzzling her neck while her hands kept themselves busy diving underneath his shirt, warming on his skin. He hissed upon the contact but then lifted his head, took her hands and led her to the couch. Sitting down, he took her in his arms and snuggled up to her with a sad smile on his face.
“Ollie, what’s going on?” she asked.
He hesitated then sighed. “I have not been completely honest with you and rather than keep going and have you mad at me at a later stage…. I just want to be clear.”
Her eyes wide in surprise she squeezed his hand and waited for him to continue.
“Last night was the happiest and most carefree I have ever been and one of my most hopeful wishes was granted. We got married. I don't want to start of by lying to you, so I have to tell you.... that I still have some memory of last night. I remember all of us in the limo, us sitting in the corner. When Emil decided that we should go and gamble our lives away and Lois bet her engagement ring, you and I also made a bet. We decided that should Lois lose her hand, that we would get married.”
“What the…..” she started to interrupt, but he pressed his index finger to her lips and drew her closer with his arm on her waist.
“Shhh, let me finish. Clark sped us off finding a chapel that was still open , and might I add I have never seen him speeding drunk but that was surely a sight to behold, and Lois dragged you off to find you a wedding dress. Now I have no recollection how Clark managed to make me wear that hideous suit, but I wanted a better ring for you.” He paused. “ So after we were married I dragged Lois off to find you a proper ring and I can only assume that we planned to meet in Smallville later.“
Chloe just stared at him in shock. “Chloe, I know you are mad, but let me expl----” She cut him of by pressing her lips to his.
“I’m alright, I guess…. Well as alright as you can be finding out that not only did you get married drunk, but that your spouse omitted certain things, “ she winked at him, “yet I am even more in awe that Lois threw a sure bet for us to get married…. Even losing her ring for that.”
“She DID say that she would only bet her ring if she was sure…. “ he hesitated.
“She PLAYED us. That little minx.” Growling, Chloe was clenching her fists.
“Easy there tiger. I am grateful for them getting us tied to each other,.... you know what, nevermind, to be honest I think we should make them pay… at least a little bit. Just to make sure that they know not to mess with us.”
She looked at him, licking her lips, her curious eyes fixated on him. “What did you have in mind?”
“I am not sure yet.” He admitted.
“Oh I know, hand me the phone! Quick!”
Leaning back he stretched his left arm with his right arm still holding onto her. When it looked as if he was going to loose his balance once he captured the phone from the side table she pulled him back, sitting up next to him.
Dialing Clark’s number she motioned for him to be quiet.
“Hi you have reached Clark Kent. Please leave a message after the beep.”
“He is so unimaginative”, Oliver mumbled next to her resulting with her left hand slapped over his mouth to keep him quiet.
“Mr. Kent, this is Reverend Suzanne Armstrong calling. You were wed yesterday and today I have received a phone call from a certain Mrs. Chloe Sullivan in order to annul the wedding. Unfortunately I am not able to do so as I would need your written consent and a court in order to process the change. Kindly call 555-432-1453 if you wish to obtain a divorce as they will gladly assist you with a lawyer. But I certainly hope that you will give this marriage a try. After all she is a lovely brunette.”
Hanging up Oliver could not contain his laughter anymore. “Whose number did you leave?”
“Mr. Chao’s Supreme Chicken Court. I thought he could not cause to much trouble calling there.”
Holding his hand out he said “My turn now.”
Dialing Lois’ number he also connected to her mailbox.
“Good evening Mrs. Lane, this is …”
“Hello?” Lois ‘s voice rang from the speaker.
“Good evening, is this Mrs. Lane?”
“Yes this is she.”
“I am calling from Animal Rescue. It has come to our attention that you not only stole and dressed up but also left a Lemur unattended.”
“Now you listen.-----“
“This is a federal crime and thus you are requested to report to the local animal shelter at 6:30am sharp.”
“No. … Wait Oliver is that you?”
He hung up. Looking next to him Chloe was in a fit of laughter lying on her back. Crouching over her and moving his hands to the sides of her waist he asked in his most menacing voice “And what may I ask is so funny?”
“Nothing”, she answered still laughing, “I just think it’s funny, that my husband, CEO turned vigilante, is not able to leave a nice prank call without screwing up.” He stilled and realized that tears were threatening to shoot into his eyes. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself down.
She looked at him, trying to decipher what was happening.
“You called me your husband for the first time.” He smiled and captured her lips in a soft kiss. “I just realized that it meant more to me than I even realized. And if all it took was a prank call gone wrong, I am a very happy man indeed.”
“Well you better get used to it Romeo.” She said deciding to use his words from earlier that evening to convey how she felt. ” I am not moving to your home town just because I miss the sun and nice and warm sandy beaches…”
Rating: PG-13
Author: 552158
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Chloe & Oliver
Spoilers: Up to and including Fortune.
Author’s note: Inspired by geek_or_unique’s icon of Masquerade (to be found here) I’ve wanted to write a small one shot capturing what the icon conveyed. Yesterday’s episode finally gave me an inspiration for the prank call. So hope you enjoy, feedback is welcome. As always I do not own Smallville or its rights.
After his initial fear of her rejection had passed when she smiled with teary eyes at the missing piece of their wedding certificate, he swooped in and resolved to not let her out of his bed (at least for the evening). Furthermore he decided that they needed a proper wedding night - excluding the gang and lemur - and dragged her off to the closest hotel that was acceptable to his taste. Never would he have imagined ending up cuddled together in a blanket prank calling Clark and Lois at three in the morning was their unconventional way of spending said wedding night.
Then again nothing was conventional anymore. While he was elated and overjoyed that they had tied the knot, he was scared that if he admitted that he had more recollection of the night prior than he let on she would run for the hills. While everyone else kept drinking he merely had a sip of the cursed champagne and thus was very well aware of saying “I Do”. But he could not start a marriage based on lies.
He pressed her against the door as soon as they entered, nuzzling her neck while her hands kept themselves busy diving underneath his shirt, warming on his skin. He hissed upon the contact but then lifted his head, took her hands and led her to the couch. Sitting down, he took her in his arms and snuggled up to her with a sad smile on his face.
“Ollie, what’s going on?” she asked.
He hesitated then sighed. “I have not been completely honest with you and rather than keep going and have you mad at me at a later stage…. I just want to be clear.”
Her eyes wide in surprise she squeezed his hand and waited for him to continue.
“Last night was the happiest and most carefree I have ever been and one of my most hopeful wishes was granted. We got married. I don't want to start of by lying to you, so I have to tell you.... that I still have some memory of last night. I remember all of us in the limo, us sitting in the corner. When Emil decided that we should go and gamble our lives away and Lois bet her engagement ring, you and I also made a bet. We decided that should Lois lose her hand, that we would get married.”
“What the…..” she started to interrupt, but he pressed his index finger to her lips and drew her closer with his arm on her waist.
“Shhh, let me finish. Clark sped us off finding a chapel that was still open , and might I add I have never seen him speeding drunk but that was surely a sight to behold, and Lois dragged you off to find you a wedding dress. Now I have no recollection how Clark managed to make me wear that hideous suit, but I wanted a better ring for you.” He paused. “ So after we were married I dragged Lois off to find you a proper ring and I can only assume that we planned to meet in Smallville later.“
Chloe just stared at him in shock. “Chloe, I know you are mad, but let me expl----” She cut him of by pressing her lips to his.
“I’m alright, I guess…. Well as alright as you can be finding out that not only did you get married drunk, but that your spouse omitted certain things, “ she winked at him, “yet I am even more in awe that Lois threw a sure bet for us to get married…. Even losing her ring for that.”
“She DID say that she would only bet her ring if she was sure…. “ he hesitated.
“She PLAYED us. That little minx.” Growling, Chloe was clenching her fists.
“Easy there tiger. I am grateful for them getting us tied to each other,.... you know what, nevermind, to be honest I think we should make them pay… at least a little bit. Just to make sure that they know not to mess with us.”
She looked at him, licking her lips, her curious eyes fixated on him. “What did you have in mind?”
“I am not sure yet.” He admitted.
“Oh I know, hand me the phone! Quick!”
Leaning back he stretched his left arm with his right arm still holding onto her. When it looked as if he was going to loose his balance once he captured the phone from the side table she pulled him back, sitting up next to him.
Dialing Clark’s number she motioned for him to be quiet.
“Hi you have reached Clark Kent. Please leave a message after the beep.”
“He is so unimaginative”, Oliver mumbled next to her resulting with her left hand slapped over his mouth to keep him quiet.
“Mr. Kent, this is Reverend Suzanne Armstrong calling. You were wed yesterday and today I have received a phone call from a certain Mrs. Chloe Sullivan in order to annul the wedding. Unfortunately I am not able to do so as I would need your written consent and a court in order to process the change. Kindly call 555-432-1453 if you wish to obtain a divorce as they will gladly assist you with a lawyer. But I certainly hope that you will give this marriage a try. After all she is a lovely brunette.”
Hanging up Oliver could not contain his laughter anymore. “Whose number did you leave?”
“Mr. Chao’s Supreme Chicken Court. I thought he could not cause to much trouble calling there.”
Holding his hand out he said “My turn now.”
Dialing Lois’ number he also connected to her mailbox.
“Good evening Mrs. Lane, this is …”
“Hello?” Lois ‘s voice rang from the speaker.
“Good evening, is this Mrs. Lane?”
“Yes this is she.”
“I am calling from Animal Rescue. It has come to our attention that you not only stole and dressed up but also left a Lemur unattended.”
“Now you listen.-----“
“This is a federal crime and thus you are requested to report to the local animal shelter at 6:30am sharp.”
“No. … Wait Oliver is that you?”
He hung up. Looking next to him Chloe was in a fit of laughter lying on her back. Crouching over her and moving his hands to the sides of her waist he asked in his most menacing voice “And what may I ask is so funny?”
“Nothing”, she answered still laughing, “I just think it’s funny, that my husband, CEO turned vigilante, is not able to leave a nice prank call without screwing up.” He stilled and realized that tears were threatening to shoot into his eyes. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself down.
She looked at him, trying to decipher what was happening.
“You called me your husband for the first time.” He smiled and captured her lips in a soft kiss. “I just realized that it meant more to me than I even realized. And if all it took was a prank call gone wrong, I am a very happy man indeed.”
“Well you better get used to it Romeo.” She said deciding to use his words from earlier that evening to convey how she felt. ” I am not moving to your home town just because I miss the sun and nice and warm sandy beaches…”