Office Dirt
~*~
This is proof positive of exactly how little it takes to amuse me.
This week at work has been so very Seinfeld-esque.
Today my pristine image was tarnished. As the voice of reason, I’m usually disdainful of the guys’ uncouth approach to food (trying to grill a rattlesnake they killed, using blowtorches to cook hot dogs, daring each other to eat strange things, etc.). However, today one of the guys caught me eating off the floor. My last little bit of a low carb energy bar dropped and I went after it. In my defense: 1) it was chocolate; 2) it was on the floor less than 5 seconds; and 3) I thought no one was watching.
The bigger Seinfeld spiel has been about a new piece of office equipment. Actually, it's probably more like Everybody Loves Raymond. There was an episode where Marie took an art class and created a huge sculpture which she gave to her favorite son, Ray, & his family to display in their living room for everyone to see. It was an abstract but close enough to female genitalia that half the people identified it as such & couldn’t look at it and the other half didn’t know what is was but couldn’t stop staring at it.
Moving along to our new paper shredder. Meet Betty!
I unpacked it, set it up, and stared at it until I realized the paper shredder was decidedly female. As I stood there, one of the bosses came to stand beside me and stared at it as well. He cleared his throat and said, “Do you watch Everybody Loves Raymond?” I suggested that maybe people wouldn’t notice. He replied, “Do you wanna bet? Everybody, before the end of the day?” Fortunately, I didn’t take that bet.
The reactions varied from the whiplash snap of the neck, double and triple takes, to the most staid guy’s comment, “Well, if that doesn't beat all!” Ralphie didn't love his leg lamp as much as these guys love Betty. She's now the focal point of what was previously known as the copy room. I may get in on the betting action as to which guy is the first to cause a paper jam. Nothing crass has been said but double entendres abound and there’s much fascination yet for that beveled slit and red control button.
/sophomoric humor (for now)
This is proof positive of exactly how little it takes to amuse me.
This week at work has been so very Seinfeld-esque.
Today my pristine image was tarnished. As the voice of reason, I’m usually disdainful of the guys’ uncouth approach to food (trying to grill a rattlesnake they killed, using blowtorches to cook hot dogs, daring each other to eat strange things, etc.). However, today one of the guys caught me eating off the floor. My last little bit of a low carb energy bar dropped and I went after it. In my defense: 1) it was chocolate; 2) it was on the floor less than 5 seconds; and 3) I thought no one was watching.
The bigger Seinfeld spiel has been about a new piece of office equipment. Actually, it's probably more like Everybody Loves Raymond. There was an episode where Marie took an art class and created a huge sculpture which she gave to her favorite son, Ray, & his family to display in their living room for everyone to see. It was an abstract but close enough to female genitalia that half the people identified it as such & couldn’t look at it and the other half didn’t know what is was but couldn’t stop staring at it.
Moving along to our new paper shredder. Meet Betty!
I unpacked it, set it up, and stared at it until I realized the paper shredder was decidedly female. As I stood there, one of the bosses came to stand beside me and stared at it as well. He cleared his throat and said, “Do you watch Everybody Loves Raymond?” I suggested that maybe people wouldn’t notice. He replied, “Do you wanna bet? Everybody, before the end of the day?” Fortunately, I didn’t take that bet.
The reactions varied from the whiplash snap of the neck, double and triple takes, to the most staid guy’s comment, “Well, if that doesn't beat all!” Ralphie didn't love his leg lamp as much as these guys love Betty. She's now the focal point of what was previously known as the copy room. I may get in on the betting action as to which guy is the first to cause a paper jam. Nothing crass has been said but double entendres abound and there’s much fascination yet for that beveled slit and red control button.
/sophomoric humor (for now)