[Theme 52] [Death Note] Eternity's Witticism

Jul 15, 2008 11:09

Title: Eternity's Witticism
Series: Death Note
Theme no.: 52 (Speechless with the memory of the drowned moon)
Character(s)/Pairing: L & Light
Rating: PG


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In a time before Creation, before Life, when the world's dreams are still heard, they meet (and it is the first of many, the last of none). He, the orange haired boy is (Perfection's near success and eternal and ephemeral) a fallen idol with the charm of a god and the voice of a snake. And he is Human (frail and inelegant and flawed to his core) and he is enchanted by the other being.

The dichotomous moon's light catches fire on the orange hair (destruction and rebirth in one fluid cycle) and he - Human - can only stare, half awed, half wary, at this other being. "Light," he christians this deity (and Light he is, for the rest of his existence for forever and never, through black holes and infinities and times beyond time). Tentatively, he throws the orange haired boy (counterpart) a smile that is both guarded and open.

He, the fallen god, smiles in return (and there is something coiling in his chest that is as black as the Human's hair and like a vague, well worn memory, and it is not love, it is not friendship, nor is it hate, but it is the beginnings of what is them). And, even as he does, he plots and plans for this Human is too like him and he's bright so he realizes this quickly, and this Human, in his own silent way, opposes him.

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And another lifetime passes before they meet and he is Prince here and Light, too (just as he has been since the beginning of time).

This time, he is nameless and faceless, again, just Peasant. And he does not might the not really there feeling he gets because it suits him (because that is how it has always been and there is no need to change it now).

They brush past each other once. Light smiles, Peasant nods (and both stop breathing for a moment with just out of reach memories of a vanishing time when time was kept by the face of the moon). Because this is them (intertwined, interconnected), they cannot forget, cannot let go. Because this thing that binds them together is beyond dreams and whispering nights and it would not let them go. So he creates elaborate schemes, for he is (cunning and dangerous) Light and the Peasant stands back, well aware of what is going through the other's mind.

History does not allow for change, not yet, and Light knows how to use his status. They pass each other once again and Light smiles and Peasant nods and they both know what is going to happen but does not try to change it because that will always be the story (in every life he lives and he has yet to learn how to fight a God, but he will learn).

They cry of "Thief!" does not surprise and he does not try to struggle with the guards, merely looks despondently at the Prince who is wearing a slate for a face. He is not stunned by the ring they find in his pouch, but he's caught off guard by the scroll that's attached to it. It is the proverbial key to the kingdom and he is to be hanged.

As he stands on the platform, he can only look at Light (and he is not angry, rather expectant and a deeper level readies himself for the next time, and there will always be a next time for them and he contents himself with that). Light, for his part, just watches the man and it is not regret he feels when the pale skinned man dies but it is akin to (damnation) boredom.
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This time around his is (still Light) more human then he'll be ever again.

And he is nameless still, just Advisor, but plotting (because there are memories he doesn't quite recall and desire that he wonders if it's his driving him). So Light plots and plans and Advisor plots and plans and they are not certain why or when this turned into a game. But it did and neither can remember life as it was before (and never will because there was no before, only after for them).

And Light (because the ancient part of him wants to try being human, trusts the advisor a bit more than he should. And he makes his decision to not be God in this era but a human, like Advisor (and he notreally regrets it). And because he is a human, he loves and loses in the end because he gave up his kingdom to Advisor (because he had his own black holes filled with questions and his own desire to answer a 'what if' and too many lifetimes lived and yet to be lived and he wants to return the favor paid in the last lifetime and give up like he had because it really was annoyingly boring after that).

So, this time, it is he who steps down for the execution amidst the blood-thirst crowd. And he glances up to the charcoal haired man and burns with something that is sort of like resentment but more like reluctant pride and he's not sure why (and the older part says because thing swill be more interesting now that he's not afraid to fight a god). The steel is cool against his neck and Light chances a mocking smile at the new king and does not hold his breath (for he is a god once again and he does not believe that a god should have anything to fear in death).

Advisor watches as the blood of his almost friend who was never a foe seeps into the dirt. And he decides he does not like the bitter taste in his mouth that isn't pain and will never be regret but more like loneliness. A few days later he disappears (for it is in his nature in every life lifetime and every form he takes to disappear and only Light can draw him back out).
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Again and again they find each other. He is always nameless, vaguely known but hidden just beyond (memory) reach and Light always too perfect to be perfect. And in those brief moments between one eon and the next, they smile at in other in not true hatred but they are far too close for any sort of friendship. But it is a smile nonetheless and this is their in-betweenness and this is why they continue to chase after each other and break each other down and why they always forgive (because it's entirely too amusing to stop).

In the lulls of boredom, when there is only one, they each close their eyes and try to hold on to memories that seem more fiction than fact (and they are both very smart so they know it is futile but they try because there is only him and there is only Light and in-between fighting the other, each acknowledges, subconsciously, this is enough). Sometimes, eternity seems both too long and too short and they learn what it means to dream beyond this universe, dream of could bes that would never work because they would still be them and they are content with what they have.

During those moments, they remember one life in particular. And it is well before eternity that they acknowledge what they are.
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He has a pseudonym here, too: L. And he is still Light. And they are closer to their true selves then they'd ever been, ever will be. Light is the almost god again, with the power to kill criminals, and he dreams big. And, this time, L is not only the detective that's working on this case, investigating him, he's also a companion. They have never been so similar in their obsessions (or perhaps they have and they only are noticing it right now).

And Light almost remembers, as the ball flies from one end of the court to the other; he almost remembers. And, as Light looks at his almost alter-ego, he decides it is boredom coating his tongue (not regret; they had no regrets) and it tastes like bitter apples. As Light looks into ink well eyes (black as the night sky before the stars because there was just a white orb dangling in the dark, when there was only them) he smiles a bit because the man with the ink-shadow hair is L and he is the enemy that Light will never and always have.

L smiles back tentatively (and he cannot help but feel that this has happened before, that he has met this boy whose hair glows like firelight when illuminated by the computer screen before). And he knows that this boy is the mass murderer that he is looking for but does not turn him in immediately because loneliness tastes like bitter apples and he's not
entirely sure that it's Light. But mostly because Light is the friend that he's always wanted but will never accept (and they've lasted for most of forever). So he glances across the chessboard to the boy sitting on the other side and Light understands what L has said and he's always known what L would have said (because it's not just them but lifetimes and eons and ages of memories). I will not give up.

As The others watch on, they play the game that they've been playing for what he's sure now is most of eternity. And feels the others' surprise once he and L start throwing punches(but what do they know? besides, there's forever to form the apology that he will never say and L knows him and expects nothing else). And, if there's one thing that Light is sure about, it's that L knows him too well and understands and neither asks for forgiveness. As Light licks the salty blood off his lips, he wonders if this is what damnation is because he's pretty sure that he's stuck with this human beyond forever (but he is not exactly unhappy at this notion, not exactly happy either, of course, but still) - he feels like punching L again because the latter had managed to eat his way through two cakes and was working on the third during the brief moment that Light was not paying attention. And he thinks that this is just his luck that he's stuck with such a person. L tells him that the percentage of him being the mass murderer has gone up by .13 percent because the orange haired boy was glaring at L. Light closes his eyes and resists the urge to smash his head against something hard.
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He is not surprised when his chest starts to hurt (and while L does not believe in Fate, there are certain unavoidable things). He tips out of his chair and and expects to smack against the tiled floor, but it is Light who catches him. And it does not come as a shock when Light twists his lips into a maniacal smirk because he's known this would happen eventually. As he lies dying in the arms of the person who's closest to him, there are no words that will form as his eyes gaze at a forgotten time when the moon was drowned by the blackness of the night sky; a single, solitary light.

The funeral for L is a quiet, sordid affair and Light is pretty sure that the taste of bitter apples will not leave his mouth in this life time (and it doesn't). All that's left of the man is a marker-less grave that Light is sure will fade from everyone's memory. And while Light does not believe in friendship at the cost of a utopic world, this is the only moment he allows himself to flit through 'what ifs'. But it is a new day and, somehow, he's almost certain that he'll see L again and, as much as he loathes L, he loathes the taste of bitter apples even more so he lets himself believe.
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Light hates Near, L's successor, because he is neither L nor interesting (though he believes them to be one and the same), so he hates Near. And he's sure that L is somewhere, watching and laughing because he knows that Light can't deal with the boredom anymore. So Light hates Near, simply because he tries and fails to be L and Light can't forgive him for that and, eventually, he gets tired of the taste of bitter apples.

He is dying now, in almost the exact same way that L did but he's glad in a way because he can finally taste the air. And he runs, runs away from the all because he does not need them, does not care for them. And, as he lies on the stairs of this dilapidated building, he sees everything that he and L will have and nearly smiles at the familiarity of it but stops himself (and he's pretty sure he's going insane by now). But, then there's L and he forgets to be afraid, forgets hatred, and all that's left is acceptance because he is Light and he is L and there is nothing that will out last them, their almost enmity that's lightly flavored with regret (and they are not lovers, and never friends, but soulmates).

animanga: death note, [ 2008 ]

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