(no subject)
Title: Understanding 2/2
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Rating: PG-13
Length: 907
Summary: Alex has trouble with the Brown verdict.
This is a post-episode fic set after ep. 4.14 "Mercy"
As Alex left the court house where Andrea Brown was being held pending transfer, she decided to forgo the comfort of a cab, choosing instead to walk the sixteen blocks home, wrapping Olivia’s lavender scarf (which she had “borrowed” the previous month and refused to return) tighter around her neck to combat the plummeting temperatures. She used the time to consider her encounter with Andrea - both her insights and the kiss. Was it wrong that she kept thinking about the kiss, brief though it was? She wasn’t sure.
A series of deep breaths on the elevator to the twenty-second floor failed to calm her nerves. The entire way up she imagined Olivia’s reaction to her story. She anticipated grief and several days of deep silence (at best) and a bitter breakup (at worst). Finally, unable to put off the inevitable any longer, she unlocked the door and found Joni Mitchell’s “Passion Play” wafting through the living room. Candles were scattered around, casting a flickering glow on the photographs of the two of them that were the room’s only decorations.
“I’m in the kitchen,” called Olivia as Alex hung her coat and scarf in the closet and placed her briefcase and keys on the table near the door. She picked up the mail and walked with it into the next room, discarding credit card offers and coupons as she went.
Olivia looked up from the salmon she was preparing and took in Alex’s subdued attitude. “What’s wrong, Lex? Did something happen after the Brown verdict?”
Alex leaned against the granite counter-top, leaning over Olivia’s workstation to grab a carrot from the salad. She chewed the carrot the recommended twenty times before she answered, delaying as long as she reasonably could. “I - I went to see Andrea after the verdict. She was still in the holding cell, and I went - I went to talk to her.”
“Andrea Brown? What did you have to talk to her about?” Olivia asked, concerned.
Alex took a deep breath, steadying herself against the counter and closely examining the napkin holder on the island in front of her. “Jessica got pregnant when she was sixteen and she had an abortion.”
The words seem to hang in the air for a moment before Olivia responded. “Jessica, your sister? Jessica the investment banker?” Her confusion was clear in her voice. “You never told me that.”
“I know,” answered Alex, once again envisioning Olivia’s reaction to the story before flashing on the empathy she had felt in Andrea’s kiss. “Something was wrong with the baby. It - it’s called anencephaly, it’s a problem with the baby’s brain. It’s fatal, usually before the baby is born, and even if - even if Gabrielle - my niece, her name was going to be Gabrielle - had lived through birth, she would have had severe disabilities and died before she was a year old.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat, which did nothing but remind her how dry her mouth was. “Jess didn’t want to worry our parents - she didn’t want our parents to know. I had two hundred dollars left from Christmas and I gave her the money.” Alex didn’t notice she was crying until she felt Olivia gently wiping the tears off her cheek.
“Sweetie - ” started Olivia, but Alex was determined to continue uninterrupted.
“It was February and you know how cold it gets in Westport, but I biked - I had to bike three miles to the clinic to give them the money. I was crying the whole way and my tears froze on my cheeks but all I could think of was how I’d be in trouble for skipping school if my parents found out.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before, Lexi?” asked Olivia, continuing to gently stroke Alex’s cheek.
“I - I was afraid you’d - you’d - ” Alex stumbled, trying to articulate her fear without further upsetting Olivia. “I was afraid you’d be mad. I mean, your mother…” she trailed off, unwilling to finish the thought, and turned away from Olivia’s sad brown eyes.
“Oh, Alex,” Olivia sighed, turning Alex to face her again. “I’ve told you this before. My mother made a choice. If it were me, I couldn’t say I’d make the same one. When I had my pregnancy scare in college, I had already decided not to have the baby. It sounds like your sister made the right choice. For her - and for the baby - for Gabrielle.”
Alex sniffed and reached out for Olivia, wrapping her in a tight hug.
“Sweetie, I’m sorry this has caused you so much pain,” said Olivia, returning the embrace. “I wish I’d known earlier.” She ran her thumb across Alex’s forehead, soothing away the lines of worry and stress. She pressed a soft kiss on Alex’s blonde hair, noticing how cold it still was and wondering how long the blonde had wandered the streets before coming home.
“C’mon,” she said, taking Alex’s hand and leading her down the hallway. “Dinner can wait. Why don’t you take a bath, relax a little? Change into sweatpants?”
Alex nodded, suddenly exhausted, and followed Olivia into the bathroom. Sweatpants and a bath sounded perfect. She pulled Olivia into a kiss which quickly became passionate and abruptly broke off as Alex reached to start the faucet. Andrea was right. Olivia understood. Alex felt herself finally relaxing, forgetting about her brief kiss with the convicted murderer and focusing instead on kissing her wonderful girlfriend.
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Rating: PG-13
Length: 907
Summary: Alex has trouble with the Brown verdict.
This is a post-episode fic set after ep. 4.14 "Mercy"
As Alex left the court house where Andrea Brown was being held pending transfer, she decided to forgo the comfort of a cab, choosing instead to walk the sixteen blocks home, wrapping Olivia’s lavender scarf (which she had “borrowed” the previous month and refused to return) tighter around her neck to combat the plummeting temperatures. She used the time to consider her encounter with Andrea - both her insights and the kiss. Was it wrong that she kept thinking about the kiss, brief though it was? She wasn’t sure.
A series of deep breaths on the elevator to the twenty-second floor failed to calm her nerves. The entire way up she imagined Olivia’s reaction to her story. She anticipated grief and several days of deep silence (at best) and a bitter breakup (at worst). Finally, unable to put off the inevitable any longer, she unlocked the door and found Joni Mitchell’s “Passion Play” wafting through the living room. Candles were scattered around, casting a flickering glow on the photographs of the two of them that were the room’s only decorations.
“I’m in the kitchen,” called Olivia as Alex hung her coat and scarf in the closet and placed her briefcase and keys on the table near the door. She picked up the mail and walked with it into the next room, discarding credit card offers and coupons as she went.
Olivia looked up from the salmon she was preparing and took in Alex’s subdued attitude. “What’s wrong, Lex? Did something happen after the Brown verdict?”
Alex leaned against the granite counter-top, leaning over Olivia’s workstation to grab a carrot from the salad. She chewed the carrot the recommended twenty times before she answered, delaying as long as she reasonably could. “I - I went to see Andrea after the verdict. She was still in the holding cell, and I went - I went to talk to her.”
“Andrea Brown? What did you have to talk to her about?” Olivia asked, concerned.
Alex took a deep breath, steadying herself against the counter and closely examining the napkin holder on the island in front of her. “Jessica got pregnant when she was sixteen and she had an abortion.”
The words seem to hang in the air for a moment before Olivia responded. “Jessica, your sister? Jessica the investment banker?” Her confusion was clear in her voice. “You never told me that.”
“I know,” answered Alex, once again envisioning Olivia’s reaction to the story before flashing on the empathy she had felt in Andrea’s kiss. “Something was wrong with the baby. It - it’s called anencephaly, it’s a problem with the baby’s brain. It’s fatal, usually before the baby is born, and even if - even if Gabrielle - my niece, her name was going to be Gabrielle - had lived through birth, she would have had severe disabilities and died before she was a year old.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat, which did nothing but remind her how dry her mouth was. “Jess didn’t want to worry our parents - she didn’t want our parents to know. I had two hundred dollars left from Christmas and I gave her the money.” Alex didn’t notice she was crying until she felt Olivia gently wiping the tears off her cheek.
“Sweetie - ” started Olivia, but Alex was determined to continue uninterrupted.
“It was February and you know how cold it gets in Westport, but I biked - I had to bike three miles to the clinic to give them the money. I was crying the whole way and my tears froze on my cheeks but all I could think of was how I’d be in trouble for skipping school if my parents found out.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before, Lexi?” asked Olivia, continuing to gently stroke Alex’s cheek.
“I - I was afraid you’d - you’d - ” Alex stumbled, trying to articulate her fear without further upsetting Olivia. “I was afraid you’d be mad. I mean, your mother…” she trailed off, unwilling to finish the thought, and turned away from Olivia’s sad brown eyes.
“Oh, Alex,” Olivia sighed, turning Alex to face her again. “I’ve told you this before. My mother made a choice. If it were me, I couldn’t say I’d make the same one. When I had my pregnancy scare in college, I had already decided not to have the baby. It sounds like your sister made the right choice. For her - and for the baby - for Gabrielle.”
Alex sniffed and reached out for Olivia, wrapping her in a tight hug.
“Sweetie, I’m sorry this has caused you so much pain,” said Olivia, returning the embrace. “I wish I’d known earlier.” She ran her thumb across Alex’s forehead, soothing away the lines of worry and stress. She pressed a soft kiss on Alex’s blonde hair, noticing how cold it still was and wondering how long the blonde had wandered the streets before coming home.
“C’mon,” she said, taking Alex’s hand and leading her down the hallway. “Dinner can wait. Why don’t you take a bath, relax a little? Change into sweatpants?”
Alex nodded, suddenly exhausted, and followed Olivia into the bathroom. Sweatpants and a bath sounded perfect. She pulled Olivia into a kiss which quickly became passionate and abruptly broke off as Alex reached to start the faucet. Andrea was right. Olivia understood. Alex felt herself finally relaxing, forgetting about her brief kiss with the convicted murderer and focusing instead on kissing her wonderful girlfriend.