Day off
Well, I had today off. I got stuff done, lots of stuff except relaxing.
So I get up and get some food, and shortly thereafter, my mom comes home. A discussion ensues in which it is determined that:
a.) I hate working at the bookstore
b.) I don't know what I want to do
c.) I "need to figure out what [I] can put up with"
d.) "a comfortable living is not in [my] future"
e.) I am a loser and I fail at life
Yes, my mother is so inspiring. She did not SAY "e", but it is implied. She did, however, say "d". Yes, my mother does not believe I can make anything of myself that doesn't involve living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe she's right, but that is NOT what good mothers say to thier children. GOOD mothers keep that to themselves and say good things to their children. I do not have a good mother.
Good mothers also do not:
- Sit on their children to pull out baby teeth while their child is kicking and screaming.
- Tell their teenage child that they had their younger child because they thought they "could do better" in terms of children.
- Take their child's 'blankie' away as punishment.
- Punish their child for using a pacifier just because they picked it up when they were a little old for it.
- Yell at thier child for needing to use the bathroom frequently, thus re-inforcing and perpetuating a neurosis that has lasted to adulthood.
And I have gotten well off the topic of my day.
Anyway.
I was feeling really bored and restless, so I called my mate and talked the both of us into calling apartments (my mental state of bored/restless/freefloating anxiety should have been a good cue that this was not the time, but...) and he ended up getting in contact with one. I went to go drive out there to drive by it (apparently the guy wants people to go look at the building first and then contact him again if they're still interested... oookay), but I got lost, and when I found the road I went all up and down it and there was NO number 42, and then I was figuring out how much it was going to cost with utilities and how I would have NO money left at the end of the month, and I went into a panic attack. I called my mate again from my cell and explained and got really whiny and snappish and that was bad. I headed home and calmed down a bit. Then I started cleaning my room.
I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, and organized, and threw stuff out. In the end, I got four garbage bags of stuff out - two of trash, two of stuff to sell, and there is FLOOR SHOWING in my room, and... I HAVE EMPTY DRAWERS. *gasp* It's a shocker, it really is.
I also managed to get several episodes of Dr. Who transferred to DVD. Damn, this takes a long time. At least it's low-labor, since I just pop the tape in, pop in a blank DVD and let it go. I have found two, however, that the um... video... stabilizer *coughcopyprotectfiltercough* won't fix. I suppose I'll either have to live with it on VHS only or buckle and buy those on DVD. Either way. The DVDs are wicked expensive though, for what they are.
So, I really got a lot done today. I mean, there's DVDs, there's SPACE on my FLOOR (seriously, if you'd seen my room... you'd be shocked too. As shocked as I am every time I've been in there since), and stuff... but I didn't really relax. So I guess I'll try to chill before bed here, in the little time I have. I guess a relaxed 7 hours of sleep would be better than stressing and maybe catching 7 1/2 (I have subtracted a 1/2 hour of sleep from the time I could allot myself for lying awake stressing).
At least I only have one day of work between me and my next day off, and between me and my next therapist visit.
Oh... My butt is better today. Just a little bruised. Course, that makes it harder to remember that ... I'M ON T!
So I get up and get some food, and shortly thereafter, my mom comes home. A discussion ensues in which it is determined that:
a.) I hate working at the bookstore
b.) I don't know what I want to do
c.) I "need to figure out what [I] can put up with"
d.) "a comfortable living is not in [my] future"
e.) I am a loser and I fail at life
Yes, my mother is so inspiring. She did not SAY "e", but it is implied. She did, however, say "d". Yes, my mother does not believe I can make anything of myself that doesn't involve living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe she's right, but that is NOT what good mothers say to thier children. GOOD mothers keep that to themselves and say good things to their children. I do not have a good mother.
Good mothers also do not:
- Sit on their children to pull out baby teeth while their child is kicking and screaming.
- Tell their teenage child that they had their younger child because they thought they "could do better" in terms of children.
- Take their child's 'blankie' away as punishment.
- Punish their child for using a pacifier just because they picked it up when they were a little old for it.
- Yell at thier child for needing to use the bathroom frequently, thus re-inforcing and perpetuating a neurosis that has lasted to adulthood.
And I have gotten well off the topic of my day.
Anyway.
I was feeling really bored and restless, so I called my mate and talked the both of us into calling apartments (my mental state of bored/restless/freefloating anxiety should have been a good cue that this was not the time, but...) and he ended up getting in contact with one. I went to go drive out there to drive by it (apparently the guy wants people to go look at the building first and then contact him again if they're still interested... oookay), but I got lost, and when I found the road I went all up and down it and there was NO number 42, and then I was figuring out how much it was going to cost with utilities and how I would have NO money left at the end of the month, and I went into a panic attack. I called my mate again from my cell and explained and got really whiny and snappish and that was bad. I headed home and calmed down a bit. Then I started cleaning my room.
I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, and organized, and threw stuff out. In the end, I got four garbage bags of stuff out - two of trash, two of stuff to sell, and there is FLOOR SHOWING in my room, and... I HAVE EMPTY DRAWERS. *gasp* It's a shocker, it really is.
I also managed to get several episodes of Dr. Who transferred to DVD. Damn, this takes a long time. At least it's low-labor, since I just pop the tape in, pop in a blank DVD and let it go. I have found two, however, that the um... video... stabilizer *coughcopyprotectfiltercough* won't fix. I suppose I'll either have to live with it on VHS only or buckle and buy those on DVD. Either way. The DVDs are wicked expensive though, for what they are.
So, I really got a lot done today. I mean, there's DVDs, there's SPACE on my FLOOR (seriously, if you'd seen my room... you'd be shocked too. As shocked as I am every time I've been in there since), and stuff... but I didn't really relax. So I guess I'll try to chill before bed here, in the little time I have. I guess a relaxed 7 hours of sleep would be better than stressing and maybe catching 7 1/2 (I have subtracted a 1/2 hour of sleep from the time I could allot myself for lying awake stressing).
At least I only have one day of work between me and my next day off, and between me and my next therapist visit.
Oh... My butt is better today. Just a little bruised. Course, that makes it harder to remember that ... I'M ON T!